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23 Sherman Oaks, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18-30
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 7:06pm
6' 1" (1.85m)
Body Type
Judaism but it’s not important
Working on University
Doesn’t have kids
English (Fluently), French (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm new here, teach me your ways!

Update: No longer new here, but that line is staying because I do what I want.

Also, I have a beard now and I'm not getting rid of it. So, mom, if you're reading this for whatever reason, YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO MOM.

K, some fun facts about Danyanimal:

I'm an extremely vindictive driver. Don't fux wif me.
I am actively trying to get fatter (sorta) to be able to lift heavier stuff.
Apparently it took my friend 3 years to determine whether or not I'm joking.
Grammatical errors make me mad.
I guess there'll be more to come whenever I feel like it.

If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you son. I've got 99 problems and they're all crippling loneliness.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Gave up on my hopes and dreams long ago. Now I sell crack rocks exclusively to children.

In five years I'm going to open a rehab clinic catered to my former clientele called "Kick Rocks".
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making online dating profiles.

Dancing like a girl. My hips don't lie.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My beard or my big ass.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
A Song of Ice and Fire series. Stephen King is my jam. Talk to me about cool books and I'll be really stoked. Currently reading the Dark Tower series.

All the generic movies that people like, I like.

I also have an inexplicable hatred for the movie "Groundhog Day". There's a reason for this, it's just not a good one.

Game of thrones, Scrubs, Boardwalk Empire, Breaking Bad, and other stuff like that.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
In n Out
Squat rack
The Ocean
Apparently my cats. Which is weird because they're total assholes.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Pistachio nuts.

How many pomeranian dogs I could fight off at once. I bet I could handle like, 25 of those fuckers at once.

APA formatting.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
On Fridays I tend to invite people over to watch bad movies so we can drink beer and laugh about how bad the movie is.

But that's only sometimes. All other nights I cry myself to sleep.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I like to wander my apartment naked. I think my neighbors have a problem with that...

Update - no longer live in an apartment. Now my roommates have to deal with my nudity.

DUBBLE UPDATE - Living at home for summer. My mom calls me fat.

I do this thing where I internally mock people's voices or the way in which they laugh. Only sometimes I accidentally forget to do it internally and then I get weird looks.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're okay with sarcasm and you can take a joke.

If you know the difference between "you're" and "your"; if not, your probably just not right for me.

Girls that like horses too much scare me.

You're okay with the fact that most of my pictures involve fish I've killed. If it's any consolation, I make killer sushi.

Also if you've never seen Jurassic Park or Star Wars. I love both of those movies and I haven't seen them in a while in anticipation of someone who I like who hasn't seen them so they can forever have the memory of me burned in their mind because they first saw those life changing movies with me also message me if you like run-on sentences.