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31 / F / Straight / Seeing someone
Her journal posts
May 23, 2009
Love is pain, love is anguish, love is passion, love is sacrifice, and occasionally, love can lead to moments of joy.
Joy is not happiness or more to the point, it is an expression of happiness that is elevated with passion.
Love can lead to comfort, but it will always be fleeting. In comfort, you can find happiness, but too much comfort leads to an eventual boredom which will drive one away from said comfort. Fortunately, humans are well known to only be in these moments for short times and when two or more are together in any proximity, these times can be cherished as it can be broken by any at any given time.
It is a good thing that Love doesn't equal happiness, for it wouldn't be Love.
Love is known as the hardest word or emotion to define. It is a noun and a verb. Most feel it rather than define it. Definition is known to kill things for you're placing a meaning over an abstract and then all things related to that defined word are then only defined in what it is written. That is until someone comes along and redefines the word.
It is the overbearing sense that pulls you to one thing or another, be it a person, a place or sometimes even a thing. In my opinion, a physical thing is not worth love; it can never reciprocate and it doesn't care whether or not it is being loved. It just Is, and exists to perform a function. We may anthropomorphise an object, saying that our love and care for it returns to us by way of its continued working status, but it is really the maintenance that keeps it functioning the way we wish. In some definitions, maintenance is part of love, thus why it can be confused. I'm not saying that a thing can't have its own soul, but most things do not without the love placed into it; catch-22. In my practice of things, I do not attribute love to objects, though it isn't necessarily wrong to do so unless it is given the intense full version of the emotion or even considering a thing as part of yourself. Again, some things are part of you if you wish to make them so, but that is literally asking for a future of loss when it finally is gone and/or no longer functions. Much like the love given to a pet, in retrospect. Its easier as it is a thing that responds physically to the attention it receives, and seems to reciprocate, but does it really? In my opinion, yes, but then again, who am I to acknowledge a soul of an animal and refute the possibility to the soul of a manufactured object such as a computer or car? It is it's own hypocrisy.
A place can reciprocate in its own way; a plant thus planted and cared for will grow as it will. A city that you reside and help take care of may not show gratitude, much like a nation. Its reciprocation comes in the form of the people who see what you do and take appreciation. Those who die for a country may in some respect be doing this to save their home, the tree on the corner, the mountain they watched the sun rise over again and again, but it is really the people that give a place its life when talking human societies. Nature on the other hand has its own agendas and even though you may love it, it may not love you as you're an invader. Thus, the world is actually a dangerous place because of its lack of love. Same for Other places. This is the world we created for lack of respect.
I can finally see how someone can love people as a whole. Not solely for what they do, but for the occasions when they go past their insecurities, disrespectful behavior, and other issues that may cloud their judgment. For the moments when they see truth, when they do things not for themselves, when things they do for themselves produces right action as it doesn't disrupt the flow of everything but rather aids its passage unless it is a purposeful act to disrupt a destructive flow. Of course this boils down to what is good and evil, and since this is incredibly skewed, the last principal is less looked upon with loving eyes. Humans are known for doing both terrible and wonderful acts (sometimes interchangeable). The sorrow one can feel when someone does something terrible without knowing what they did is incredibly harmful. To expose that truth is worse than the loss of a limb and is more often than not shunned as a lie before it is realized. I'd rather have no limbs and be struck with the Truth. People prefer lies over truth as to know the truth is to know that they are parasites, virii or worse. To know that everything they do sends a ripple to others, and their actions continue the ripples to others and so forth. This can be crippling and would cause one to withdraw, except the withdrawing can do equal harm.
So, what can we possibly do when we know that everything we do can cause great harm? Those of weaker Will may choose to deny the truth utterly and go about their lives without thinking of the consequences. Those of stronger Will may choose to make decisions and actions much more carefully and are willing to accept the consequences. Those of incredibly strong Will may choose to do the unthinkable, which is to remove their acts of influence completely even though the act itself sends shockwaves. Honestly any of these options are available to any with the knowledge of Will as these are choices. Of these choices, only the complete denial is the one that I cannot abide personally; I am one, there are billions.
Every time I write, the reader is affected. I could write and let no one see these words, but then they are just words. They have meaning to me, but would in turn be meaningless.
Some choose to comfort. Some choose to lash out. Some choose to do nothing. Of the first two, there are three possible avenues.
You may comfort with a lie (unknowing or not), you may comfort with the truth (seemingly harsh), or you may comfort with a mixture of the two as you are trying to do good (more common and sad in reality).
You may lash out with a lie (unknowing or not), you may lash out with the truth (cutting deeper than a physical stab), or you may lash out with a mixture of the two as you are trying to cause pain (be it to release your own or sheerly to cause).
When you choose to do nothing, you are lying to yourself or others. "it isn't my problem" - but it is as the moment that it is brought to your attention, it affects you. "They don't want my help" - you didn't even ask; had you asked, and they declined, it is no longer your choice but theirs.
Should a problem be so large that no matter what you do, it will not create any real impact, you have to decide for yourself which has a greater priority as there are plenty of problems from which to choose. In this case, you are not lying, you are being realistic as to know which battles to engage. This is a case of strategy, tactics and logic.
This is mostly ranting, of course. It is the only thing that I can do aside from going about my daily processes of observing and reacting. This, in turn, is a reaction to observation. If people took the time to think, perhaps this world would be better or even more dangerous. Who knows.
Apr 11, 2009
Xast (Michael McCole) is an example of someone who was just too beautiful for this world. A genius in every sense including documented with an imagination that most artists would envy. He is my Muse and will always Be.
He was born with amazing intelligence but with the sting of Aspbergers, a high functioning autism. He always had problems with understanding social queues; he laughed when he was scared or sad and cried when he was happy. He always thought that he was hurting others, especially when it was misconceived. Still, when he discovered the meaning of Love, he applied his everything to this principal and became the cornerstone of his existence. Later on, Free Will would be added to his base.
He developed the most severe case of bipolar disorder that I have ever seen. In his states of mania, he would not sleep for days but was the life of the party because he loved to make others happy. Most people met or interacted with him during these states. He did not let most people see the depressions as they were mind numbingly horrific.
He stopped taking his five medications two years ago. All he ever wanted was to just be normal. No matter how many of us tried to have him take them again, he refused. So, for eight months, I was there for him as much as he would let me. I moved in with him to make sure that he was okay. I would keep him fed, make sure he was able to go where he wanted to go and held him every night he cried.
He finally relented at midnight on 9/3/09 (subsequently his birthday) and offered me the position to be his girlfriend. I graciously accepted. We never even had a fight during our six month relationship as there was never a need to fight. He wanted peace, and if we had differing views, we would talk it out rather than come to yelling.
He is a Champion of Wonder. There is so much beauty in this world that most people don't even notice. Glamour exists. Things most beautiful are often equally dangerous, but this world is not about money or posessions; this is a lie that is being perpetrated who's end result will destroy this place. Old gods exist. Some conspiracy theories are true, but not all. The dying god mythos still sucks. Lies are intolerable, even ones that may save someone's hurt feelings. Do as thou Will shall be the whole of the Law. Love is the Law, Love under Will (Crowley). Out of the night that covers me, black as the pit from pole to pole; I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul (Henley).
My Love jumped from the ledge of Congress Tower in Austin, Tx at 12:30 that afternoon, from the 21st floor. This building is on 9th street and is the 3rd on this block. 93 (see crowley in previous paragraph). He accidentally woke me that morning, and smiled, placing a hand on my leg to reassure me to go back to sleep as I was with him late that night during his depression. He wanted to see people for what they really are; see the soul behind the eyes to their archetype. In the end, I believe he did.
Jul 6, 2008
So, dear person who knifed my tire, may you take solace in the fact that you've helped me out twice...
Jun 24, 2008
I have an unhappy future of my own making. There is no point in denying it, pitying it or responding to it, it just will happen. Still, of all the things out there, at least I can say that I made it rather than it happened to me. I did something, although it didn't turn out very well. I was made to be the fool, I knew this was a strong possibility and yet? I did it anyway. I don't know many who could boast such a thing with any amount of pride, but my sins, mistakes and problems are my own and I'd be silly to not take pride even in my downfalls.
So, I devastated the man who made me his world. He is a good guy, an amazing individual who I am proud that he is exploring that potential. Any woman would be lucky to have him, he is fiercely loyal, supportive and a damn fine husband, boyfriend, lover or friend. More than any woman would dare to ask for. I wish him well and the best, for he deserves no less.
I fell for another who is incapable of reciprocating at my level for he is unable to handle such a thing without it falling apart. I am proud of his exploration and doing what he can to the best that he knows, even though it is generally the hard way. I know how Ted felt, and its rough. I know what it means to have the One love in your life that you would do anything short of nothing for, and to have it not shared fully. It sucks, it really does. It puts you in a position of being the vulnerable lap dog as it were, and can make a serious block in the flow of everything. I guess here is the difference, I'm more of a masochist than I get credit for being, for I know all of this and yet I continue without missing a step. Perhaps there isn't a difference after all.
I still love, I always will. I wish things didn't end the way they had, I wish I didn't screw things up so hardcore and I wish life with love was easier, but it isn't. It is painful. It is hard. It is more than a little sad, but it is damn beautiful.
I'm tragic, so sue me. I chose my path, and I'll be damned if I won't live it to its conclusion. I have the Will to do or Be anything and I Am something that loves so hard that it will make for an interesting life. Would I have changed anything? Probably, but there's no use as you can't go back in time. So, instead, I just live day to day. No grandiose plans for the future, no assumptions. I could die tomorrow, or I could live to be a hundred. We'll see how this life turns out in the end.
The funniest and grandest part of all of this is that my love is great enough to not only endure, but to flourish through all of this. If I turn out to be one of those people who wait for forever for nothing, so be it; I know this track leads me to this conclusion, but at least I have the singular nicety of knowing the end result ahead of time, so it won't be a surprise.
Why would I love someone so hard who under social convention could never be much for me? Because I do, and I must be true to myself. It isn't a life without benefit, the darkness sings when communication is kept. There will be times when the love I have will be the greatest thing in this world, and times when it will feel as my demise, but I will endure. I am a singular entity (though sometimes that can be called into question), and I am a being of Worth. I am an individual, not just an assistant. I have personal potential I am striving to reach. By my heart, he is my everything. By my Will, there is more than just the heart. This is how I will survive, and by gods, it will be more than survival, it will be Living.
May 10, 2008
A future surrounded by interstellar travel, omens, death, passions and last desperate attempts score through this book. This is the first of a series, and is primarily "getting to know" the various characters involved. It leaves some sense of mystery, has rather interesting little tidbits of time-lines and shows that an author doesn't need to make his or her main character the upright and righteous sort as each has their own gray area. Not a hard read, however seemingly much longer than the pages portray as you're trudging through various stories to lead to the second book.
Dune: Messiah by Frank Herbert Science Fiction Rating: 4
The sequel to the highly acclaimed novel, moving in twists and turns at a rapid pace, almost blindingly through to get to the next in the series. This would have made a higher rating, save for there were many things that could have been expounded, but a necessity of getting past this part of the series leaves a slight wanting. Still, a very good book.
Emperor by Stephen Baxter Mystery/Alternate Timeline Rating: 1
Set in Ancient Roman times, centered around the second invasion of Briton with Hadrian. Some may find redeemable qualities of this book; the attention to details here and there, the actual use of Latin in the text, and the building mysteries, however I found myself not even being able to read this one cover to cover. The plot is vague at first, as each chapter jumps ahead in time too many years to keep up with the characters given to said chapter. Character development is highly lacking, and the religious overtones were a huge turn off; I understand that Christianity was a specific part of the time periods portrayed, but this was unnecessary. Probably should have been placed in the Christian Fiction section.
The Magic of Recluse by L. E. Modesitt Jr. Fantasy Rating: 5
The inaugural book of the Modesitt universe, centered around the ideas of chaos and order magics, and their inherent need to exist. You travel from two very polarized places with a group of people who just couldn't cut it in the highly ordered society. The imagery is astounding, attention to the small and large equally viewed. I have a bias for this book considering I am an artisan and seeing the world from the point of view of a woodsmith is wonderful. Another book that is easily read, but fun at the same time, this should be on any fantasy lover's bookshelf.
2: Barely Entertaining
5: Highly Recommended
May 10, 2008
A mystery set in Roman occupied Britian during the reigns of Trajan and Hadrian. The plot is obvious, the diction is simple, and there are slight historical inconsistancies here and there, but overall the book is somewhat entertaining. It gained bonus points for the sparse use of Latin and the fact that while there where brothels, this book is completely lacking of pointless erotica while keeping some sensuous scenes. Due to the tragic ease of this book, it is destined to be something that is kept in the bathroom or something to cleanse the pallet after reading something more rich.
Dune by Frank Herbert Science Fiction Rating: 5
A messianic story within a story, within a story. Set in a distant future rife with political aspirations, violent rebellions, scheming leaders and an omnipresent tone of religion. There is a lot of thought present in this story, giving an insight into the character's mind. This is by no means an easy read, and the subtleties are best appreciated with the more care that is given while perusing the pages. It is rightfully hailed as one of the best works of Science Fiction in print.
Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card Science Fiction Rating: 4
Coming of age in an age where coming but more thrust. The story revolves around children of genius, who may be the hope or hell of mankind. Imagery abounds in various forms and the author takes you through a track of many twists and turns, though the end is of course not the end as this is the first part of a series. The other books are not as shining examples of Card's work, but this is still recommended for anyone who seeks to expand their bookshelf.
The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress by Robert Heinlein Science Fiction Rating: 5
Heinlein, a paragon of Science Fiction, gives a tale of oppression and revolution on our most familiar form in the sky. Then again, if you're a prisoner on the Moon, wouldn't you do the same? Well rounded characters, mathematics, logic and high function imagination are keys to this story. If you enjoy other gems from Heinlein, this one promises not to dissappoint.
2: Barely Entertaining
5: Highly Recommended
May 9, 2008
cacaesthesia \kaw-KUH-thee-zya\ n.
A morbid sensation.
cachexy \kuh-KEK-see-uh\ n.
Generally unhealthy physical or mental state.
cachinnate \KAK-uh-neyt\ v.
To laugh loudly or immoderately.
cacodaemonia \kak-oh-DEE-moe-nee-uh\ n.
A mental condition or insanity where one believes they are possessed by evil spirits. (also cacodemonomania)
cacodoxical \kak-oh-DOCKS-ehk-uhl\ adj.
cacoethes \kak-oh-EE-theez\ n.
An irresistible urge or compulsion; mania.
cacography \kuh-KOG-ruh-fee\ n.
Bad handwriting; incorrect spelling.
cacophrenic \kak-oh-fren-ik\ adj.
Pertaining to an inferior intellect.
cacozelia \kak-oh-zell-ee-ya\ n.
Stidied affectation in diction or style, as in a speech filled with pedantic latinisms and inkhorn words.
cadent \KEYD-nt\ adj.
Having cadence or rhythm; falling, as water or tears (Archaic)
cadginess \KAJ-ee-nes\ adj. (Archaic)
Cheerful, merry; amorous or wonton.
caducity \kuh-DOO-si-tee\ n.
Senility or the infirmity or weakness of old age; fraily, transitoriness, the quality or state of being perishable; impermanence.
cainophobia \kay-no-foe-bee-uh\ n.
A fear of new things. (also cainotophobia)
calcographer \kal-koh-graf-er\ n.
One who draws with crayons.
calefacient \kal-uh-FEY-shuhnt\ adj.
Producing the sensation of heat or sense of warmth. (also calescence)
calepin \kah-eh-pen\ n.
A dictionary, especially a polyglot dictionary.
caliginous \kuh-LIG-uh-nuhs\ adj. (Archaic)
Misty, dim or dark; gloomy.
callipygian \kal-uh-PIJ-ee-uhn\ adj.
Having a well shaped buttocks.
callomania \kah-oh-may-nee-uh\ n.
The delusion that one is beautiful; unwarrented narcisism.
calumnious \kuh-LUMN-nee-uhs\ adj.
Of, involving or using slander; defamatory.
calvous \KAL-vuhs\ adj.
Lacking all or most of the hair on the head; bald.
canaille \kuh-NEYL\ n.
Rabble; the masses of the people; the proletariat.
canorous \kuh-NAWR-uhs\ adj.
Melodious, tuneful or musical.
cantabile \kahn-TAH-bi-ley\ adj/adv.
In a smooth, lyrical, flowing style; songlike.
cantillate \KAN-tl-eyt\ v.
To chant, recite or intone.
caparison \kuh-PAR-uh-sun\ n/v.
n. Richly ornamented clothing; finery.
v. To dress another in rich clothing.
capias \KAP-pee-uhs\ n.
A warrant for arrest.
captious \KAP-shuhs\ adj.
Marked by a disposition to find and point out trivial faults; intended to entrape or confuse, as in an arguement.
cark \kahrk\ n/v. (Archaic)
To be burden or be burdened with worry.
caroigne \CAR-oyg-ney\ n.
A dead body; carrion.
carriwitchet \KAY-ree-wich-et\ n. (Archaic)
An absurd, riddling question; somewhat of a hoax. Teasing quibble, pun.
castigate \KAS-ti-geyt\ v.
To criticize or reprimand severely; to punish in order to correct.
casuist \KAZH-oo-ist\ n.
An oversubtle or disingenuous reasoner; a person who studies and resolves moral problems of judgement or conduct arising from specific situations.
cataglottism \kat-uh-GLAHT-ism\ n.
Kissing using the tongue; french kissing.
cataphor \KAT-uh-for\ n.
A very deep sleep.
cataplexy \KAT-uh-pleck-see\ n.
A sudden los of muscletone and strength, usually caused by an extreme emotional stimulus.
catastaltic \kat-ah-STOL-tik\ adj.
Restricting or inhibitory, restraining.
catholic \KATH-uh-lik\ adj.
Broad or wide-ranging in tastes or interests; having sympathies with all.
catoptric \kuh-TOP-trik\ adj.
Of or relating to mirrors and reflected images.
cautelous \caw-te-lus\ adj.
Caution, prudent or wary; crafty, deceitful or false.
cavaedium \kuh-VEE-dee-uhm\ n.
A skylit central courtyard commonly used for indoor gardens; an atrium.
ceduous \SED-yoo-us\ adj.
Worthy of being struck or knocked down; fit to be killed.
ceilidh \KEY-lee\ n.
A party or social gathering where there is singing, dancing and storytelling.
celation \sil-AY-shun\ n.
centesis \sen-TEE-sis\ n.
A puncture or perferation; a puncture in the body to remove fluid.
certes \SUR-teez\ adv. (Archaic)
Certainly; in truth.
cerusleus \SUR-oos-lee-us\ adj. (Archaic)
chaetophilia \ki-TOF-ill-ee-uh\ n.
Obsessive love or tendencies with regards to hair.
chaffering \CHAFF-er-ing\ v. (Archaic)
chantage \shahn-TAZH\ n.
chargeous \char-gee-uhs\ adj.
chevelure \shev-uh-LOOR\ n.
A head of hair.
chignon \SHEEN-yon\ n.
A large, smooth twist, roll or knot of hair; a bun.
chillum \CHIL-uhm\ n.
A hookah or water pipe; the part of a hooka that contains the substance to be smoked.
choreomania \kor-eeoh-MANE-ee-uh\ n.
A passion for dancing. (also choromania)
chouse \chows\ n/v. (Archaic)
n. A swindler or dupe.
v. To swindle or cheat.
chrematistics \kre-ma-TIS-tiks\ adj/n.
adj. pertaining to gaining money.
n. the study of money.
chrestomathy \kres-TOM-uh-thee\ n.
The collection of choice literary pieces; an anthology used in studying a language.
chromesthesia \kro-mes-THEE-zha\ n.
A form of synesthesia where nonvisual stimulation results in the experience of color sensations.
chunderous \CHUHN-der-uhs\ adj.
Thorougly unpleasant or nauseating; revolting.
cicatrice \SIK-uh-triks\ n.
A mark left by the healing of injured tissue; a scar.
cicurate \sik-yoo-rate\ v.
A dangerously or irresistibly fascinating woman.
circumambulate \sur-kuhm-AM-byuh-leyt\ v.
To walk or go about or around, especially ceremoniously.
circumcursation \sur-kuhm-kur-SAY-shun\ n.
The act of running about; rambling language.
circumspective \sur-kuhm-SPEK-tiv\ adj.
cisvestitism \sis-ves-tee-tizm\ n.
Wearing wierd or inappropriate clothing.
clairsentient \klayr-SENT-eeunt\ adj.
Able to perceive sensations not actually present.
clancular \klan-cue-lar\ adj.
Conducted with secrecy; clandestine, concealed.
claudent \KLAW-dent\ adj.
Shitting, confining; drawing closed.
claudicant \KLAW-dee-kant\ adj.
To walk lamely or move unsteadily; limping.
claviger \KLAV-eh-ger\ n. (Archaic)
A servant, especially one who carries keys.
clavus \KLAH-vuhs\ n.
An intense headache where the pain is likened to a sharp object being driven into the skull.
cledonism \KLEE-don-izm\ n.
Using circumlocution to avoid speaking words deemed unlucky.
clepe \kleep\ v.
To call; name.
clerisy \KLAHR-isee\ n.
Educated or literary people, collectively.
clinquant \KLING-kuhnt\ adj/n.
adj. glittering; decked with garish finery. Showy.
n. meretricious work of art.
cloy \kloi\ v.
To weary by an excess of food, sweetness, pleasure, etc. Satiate. To become uninteresting or distasteful through overabundance.
clysmian \KLIS-mee-ahn\ adj.
Pertaining or due to flood; cleansing.
coadunate \koh-AJ-uh-neyt\ adj.
To combine into one; closely joined, united.
cochelate \KOK-lee-eyt\ adj.
coenesthesia \see-nuhs-THEE-zhuh\ n.
The aggregate of impressions arising from organic sensations that forms the basis of one's awareness of body or bodily state, as the feeling of health, vigor, or lethargy.
coetaneous \koh-i-TEY-nee-uhs\ adj.
Contemporary; of the same age or duration.
cogency \KOH-juhn-see\ n.
The quality or state of being convincing or persuasive.
cogitate \KOJ-i-teyt\ v.
To think hard, ponder or meditate; to think about or devise. (also cogitabund)
cognomen \kog-NOH-muhn\ n.
A surname; any name, especially a nickname.
coiffeuse \kwa-FYOOZ\ n.
A woman who is a hairdresser. (male: coiffeur)
coiffure \kwa-FYOOR\ n/v.
n. A style of arranging hair.
v. To style or brush hair.
coinquinate \KOYN-kwen-ayt\ v.
collocution \kol-loh-KEW-shun\ n.
Speaking or conversing together.
comether \ko-METH-ur\ n/v.
n. Matter or affair; friendly communication or association.
v. To exercise persuasion upon, to beguile.
colubrine \KOL-uh-brahyn\ adj.
Snakey, sneaky, or cunning.
comatulid \kuh-MACH-uh-lid\ n.
Having hair that is neatly curled. A marine invertebrate such as sea lillies.
commentitious \ko-men-TISH-ush\ adj.
Imaginary, fictitous or unreal.
comminate \KOM-uh-neyt\ v.
Accusing publically, denunciatory, threatening. To threaten with divine punishment or vengeance; to curse or declare to be evil.
comminute \KOM-uh-nyoot\ adj/v.
adj. divided into small parts; powdered or pulverized.
v. To pulverize; triturate.
commonition \kom-on-ISH-uhn\ n.
Warning, advice or instruction.
commorient \kom-OR-ee-ent\ adj.
Dying together or at the same time.
compathy \KOM-puh-thee\ n.
Feelings, as happiness or grief, shared with another or others.
compendiarious \kom-pen-dee-AYR-eeuhs\ adj.
Short, concise, succinct; compendious.
complect \kuhm-PLEKT\ v.
To connect; intertwine or interweave.
conation \koh-NEY-shuhn\ n.
Mental striving; the aspect of mental processes or behavior directed toward action or change and including impulse, desire, volition and striving.
concatervate \kon-CAT-er-vayt\ v.
To pile or heap.
concinnity \kuhn-SIN-i-tee\ n.
A close harmony of tone as well as logic among the elements of a discourse. Any harmonious adaptation or arrangement of parts. Studied elegance and facility in style of expression.
concitation \kon-sit-A-shun\ n.
The act of stirring up, exciting or agitating.
concrement \KON-kruh-ment\ n.
A growing together; a natural union. (also concrescive [adj])
conculcate \KON-kul-kayt\ v.
To tread or trample under foot; to run over.
concupiscence \con-KYOO-pi-suhns\ n.
Strong sexual desire or lust; ardent, usually sensuous, longing.
condign \kuhn-DAHYN\ adj.
Deserved, adequate, or merited.
confelicity \kon-fel-IS-itee\ n.
Pleasure in the happiness of others.
confragos \kon-FRAH-gohs\ adj.
conoscente \koh-nuh-SHEN-tee\ n.
A person whom one knows slightly; an acquaintance.
consarned \kon-SAHRND\ adj.
consectary \kon-sec-TAHR-ee\ n.
That which follows by consequence or is logically deducible; corollary.
consecute \kon-SEK-yoot\ v.
To follow closely; to endeaver to overtake; to pursue.
consimilitude \kon-SEE-mil-i-tood\ n.
conspectuity \kon-spek-TOO-i-tee\ n.
The faculty of sight, ability to see.
conspurcate \KON-spur-kayt\ v.
To pollute; to violate or defile.
contesseration \kon-TESS-ur-ay-shun\ n.
An assemblage or collection; harmonious union.
conticent \KON-ti-sent\ adj.
contrectation \kon-trek-TAY-shun\ n.
Foreplay; intial stage of sexual contact. The act of caressing someone, especially furtively or against their will.
contubernal \kon-too-BEHR-nal\ adj.
Familiar; in companionship. Living or messing together.
convicious \kon-VIS-ush\ adj.
Expressive reproach; abusing, railing; taunting.
convivial \kuhn-VIV-ee-uhl\ adj.
Friendly, agreeable. Jovial; sociable. Fond of feasting, drinking and good company. Festive.
copemate \KOHP-meyt\ n.
An antagonist or opponent; a comrade or partner. (also copesmate)
coprolalia \koh-pohl-AHL-eeuh\ v.
Use of obscene language, often obsessively or uncontrollably. (also coprolalomania)
coprophemia \koh-pro-FEEM-eeuh\ n.
coquet \koh-KET\ v/n.
v. To try to attract the attention and admiration of others for self gratification; flirt. To act without seriousness; trifle.
n. A male flirt. (female: coquette)
cormorant \KAWR-mer-uhnt\ adj/n.
A greedy, rapacious person.
coruscate \KOR-uh-skeyt\ v.
To emit flashes of light; sparkle, scintillate, gleam. To be lively or brilliant or exhibit virtuosity.
corybantic \kor-uh-BAN-tik\ adj.
cothurnate \KOH-thur-neyt\ adj.
Relating to tragedy; solemn or grave.
cotquean \kot-KWEEN\ n.
A coarse or scolding woman; a man who busies himself with domestic matters traditionally regarded as suitable only for women.
couage \koo-ahg\ v.
To inspire with courage.
cozen \kuhz-uhn\ v.
To cheat, deceive or trick.
crache \kraych\ v.
creancer \KREE-ahn-sur\ n.
A guardian; mentor.
creaophagous \kree-oh-FAY-gus\ n.
Carnivorous; eating of flesh.
crebrous \KREE-bryuhs\ adj.
crepuscular \kreh-PUHS-kew-lur\ adj.
Pertaining to twilight; appearing or active at twilight. Imperfectly clear or luminous.
crescence \KRAY-sens\ n.
Increase; enlarge. (also crescive)
cromulent \KROM-yoo-lent\ adj.
cruentate \kroo-en-TAYT\ adj.
Smeared with blood.
crurophilous \krew-roh-FIL-uhs\ n.
cryptaesthesia \kryp-tes-THEE-sha\ n.
The power or faculty of discerning objects or matters not present. Clairvoyant.
cryptomnesia \kryp-tom-NEE-zha\ n.
The appearance in consciousness of memory images which are not recognized as such, but appear as original creations.
cunctation \kuhngk-TEY-shuhn\ n.
Tardy, delayed; dilatory.
cunctipotent \kuhngk-TEP-oh-tent\ adj.
All powerful; omnipotent.
cupidity \kyoo-PID-i-tee\ n.
Eager or excessive desire; greed or avarice.
cymotrichous \sahy-MO-truh-kuhs\ adj.
Having wavy hair.
cynanthropy \sie-nan-throw-pee\ n.
Delusions of being a dog.
cynosure \SIN-uh-shoor\ n.
Something that strongly attracts attention by its brilliance or interest. Something serving for guidance or direction.
cyphonism \SIE-fon-izm\ n.
Pillorying as punishment; put on display in shackles in public.
cyprian \SIP-ree-uhn\ adj.
Lecherous, licentious and lewd.
cypripareunia \sip-ri-pahr-YOO-neeuh\ n.
Sexual intercourse with a prostitute.
May 9, 2008
bagnio \BAN-yoh, BAHN-\ n. (Archaic)
A brothel; a bath or bathing house; a prison for slaves.
bailiwick \BEY-luh-wik\ n.
An area of activity where someone has a specific responsibility, knowledge or ability.
bairn \beyrn\ n.
A young child.
banausic \buh-NAW-sik, -zik\ adj.
Uncreative; practical or materialistic. Ordinary and not refined.
bandobust \ban-do-BUST\ n.
Arrangements or preparations made to organize an event, especially security arrangements. System; discipline. (also bundobust)
banjax \BAN-jacks\ trans v.
To damage or ruin something.
bastinado \bas-tuh-NEY-doh, -NAH-doh\ n/trans. v.
n. punishment by beating the feet or the buttocks; a beating with a blow or club; a club or stick.
v. to beat with a stick, club, cane, etc.
bathos \BEY-thos, -thaws, -thohs\ n.
Insincere and excessively sentimental pathos; a sudden descent in style or manner from the elevated to the commonplace, producing a ludicrous effect. An anticlimax; triteness.
bathukolpian \bath-you-KOL-peeun\ adj.
battue \ba-TOO, -TYOO; Fr. ba-TY\ n.
Driving of game in hunt by beating bushes, brush or underbrush; wholesale massacre or indiscriminate slaughter of defenseless or unresisting crowds.
beau geste \boh ZHEST\ n. (French: beautiful gesture)
A generous, kind or magnanimous act, often futile or only for effect.
bedizen \bi-DAHY-zuhn, -DIZ-uhn\ trans v.
To dress or decorate someone or something in a way that seems exhaggeratedly or vulgarly showy or pretentious.
begad \be-gahd\ interj. (Archaic)
Used to add emphasis to something that is said.
beldam \BEL-duhm\ n. (Archaic)
Offensive term for an older woman who is malicous or ugly; grandmother or an older woman. (also beldame)
bellicose \BEL-i-kohs\ adj.
Warlike; ready or inclined to quarrel; belligerent.
benignant \bi-NIG-nuhnt\ adj.
Gracious and kind in behavior or appearance; exerting a good influence; beneficial.
benison \BEN-uh-zuhn\ n.
A blessing or benediction; a spoken blessing.
berceuse \ber-soez\ n.
A lullaby, cradlesong or something meant to lull someone to sleep.
berdache \ber-DASH\ n. (Archaic)
Someone who takes on the dress, role and status of the opposite sex; a cross dressser. (also winkte (Lakota) or nadle (Navajo))
bete noire \bet-NWAHR\ n. (French: black bear)
Something or someone particularly detested or avoided.
bifurcate \BAHY-fer-keyt, bahy-FUR-keyt\ adj/trans/intrans v.
adj. divided into two branches or parts.
v. to be split or branched into two parts.
billet-doux \BIL-ey-doo, BIL-ee-; Fr. bee-yey-DOO\ n. (French: sweet note)
Love letter or note.
billingsgate \BIL-ingz-geyt \ n.
Foul, coarse or vulgarly abusive language.
binaural \bahy-NAWR-uhl, bin-AWR-uhl\ adj.
Involving both ears or perception of sound or attention via both ears; in stereo.
bindlestiff \BIN-duhl-stif\ n. (Archaic)
A vagrant or homeless person.
blivet \BLIV-it\ n.
Something pointless, useless or annoying; a difficult problem to solve; something whose name you do not know or cannot remember. A bug in software; technical jargon.
bobbish \BOB-bish\ adj. (Archaic)
Brisk, well; hearty or in good spirits.
bon mot \bawn-MOH\ n. (French: good word)
A witty remark or comment; witticism.
bonhomie \baw-naw-MEE\ n.
Easy, good-humoured friendliness; a good-natured manner; geniality.
boscage \BOS-kij\ n.
A wooded area; densely growing trees and bushes. (also boskage)
bouleversement \booluh-vers-MAHN\ n.
A scene of shouting and anger; a serious uproar. A reversal.
bradylogia \BRAYDUH-loe-gee-uh\ n.
Speech that is excessively slow.
bravura \bruh-VYOOR-uh\ n/adj.
n. Great skill that is shown when something artistic is done in an exciting or innovative way; a showy style or behavior.
adj. Displaying or requiring great artistic style.
brobdingnagian \brob-ding-NAG-ee-uhn\ adj/n.
adj. of or relating to a gigantic person or thing.
n. a being of tremendous size; giant.
bruit \broot\ n/trans v. (Archaic)
n. A rumor or report, regardless of factual basis. An echo, noise or clamor.
v. to spread rumors or circulate stories, regardless of factual basis.
brusque \broosk\ adj.
Abrupt, rlunt or curt in manner or speech. Discourteously blunt.
bruxism \BRUHK-siz-uhm\ n.
The grinding or gnashing of teeth.
buckshee \BUHK-shee\ adj/adv.
adj given or obtained without charge or being asked for.
adv. without charge.
bucolic \byoo-KOL-ik\ adj/n.
adj. of or pertaining to shepherds or idyllic rural life.
n. a pastoral poem; a farmer, shepherd.
May 9, 2008
abecedarian \ey-bee-see-DAIR-ee-uhn\ n.
A beginner, a novice; a person who is learning the letters of the alphabet; arranged in alphabetical order.
ablution \uh-BLOO-shuhn\ n.
Ritual bathing; the act of washing the body or hands, the liquid used for washing.
abrade \a-BRAYD\ trans/intras v.
To wear away by friction, to scrape, rub or erode; to make weary through constant irritation, to wear down spiritually.
abrogate \AB-ruh-geyt\ trans. v.
To nullify; to put aside or to end, especially by authority.
abscission \ab-SIZH-uhn, -SISH-\ n.
The act of suddenly cutting something off; detachment.
absonant \AB-suh-nuhnt\ adj. (Archaic)
Discordant, unnatural or unreasonable in character.
absquatulate \ab-SKWOCH-uh-leyt\ intrans v. (Archaic)
To leave, in a hurry or under suspicious circumstances, to abscond; to die; to argue.
abstemious \ab-STEE-mee-uhs\ adj.
Moderate; not indulging in excess, restricted to bare necessities.
abstruse \ab-STROOS\ adj.
Obscure, secret, hidden; difficult to understand.
accession \ak-SESH-uhn\ n.
A sudden and unexpected display of a particular mood or emotion; acquisition, the act of agreeing; the act of being joined.
acephalous \ey-SEF-uh-luhs\ adj.
Without a head; without a leader or ruler.
acidulous \uh-SIJ-uh-luhs\ adj.
Sour tasting; cutting and sharp in speech or tone.
acrasia \uh-CRAZE-ya\ adj.
Excess; intemperance. Weak willed; prone to temptation. (also akrasia)
aculeate \uh-KYOO-lee-it, -eyt\ adj.
additament \uh-dit-uh-muhnt\ n.
In addition; something added.
adiaphorism \ad-ee-AF-uh-riz-uhm\ n.
Things not specifically forbidden may be tolerated; religious indifference.
adjure \uh-JOOR\ trans. v.
To make an appeal; to command or request solemnly or earnestly.
adjuvant \AJ-uh-vuhnt\ adj/n.
adj. furnishing added support.
n. something or someone that helps or assists.
adumbrate \a-DUHM-breyt, AD-uhm-breyt\ v.
To outline or sketch; foreshadow; to darken or conceal partially, obfuscate.
adust \uh-DUHST\ adj. (Archaic)
Scorched or burned, dried; gloomy in appearance or mood.
advoutress \ad-VOU-tress\ n.
adytum \AD-i-tuhm\ n.
Inner sanctum; an area of restricted admittance.
afflatus \uh-FLEY-tuhs\ n.
Inspiration; divine communication of knowledge, a strong creative impulse.
agerasia \AG-er-ahys-eea\ n.
Youthful appearance in an old person.
agglutinate \uh-GLOOT-n-eyt\ adj/ trans/intrans v.
adj. united by or as by glue.
v. Adhere or cause to adhere to unite.
agnate \AG-neyt\ adj/n.
adj. related or similar in any way.
n. a relative on the father's side.
agrestic \uh-GRES-tik\ adj.
crude or rustic, lacking sophistication; awkward.
ailurophile \ahy-LOOR-uh-fahyl, ey-LOOR-\ n.
Cat lover; someone who likes cats.
akinesia \ey-ki-NEE-zhuh\ n.
Loss of movement; absence or impairment of voluntary movement.
alack \uh-LAK\ interj. (Archaic)
Expressing regret; an exclamation of sorow, dismay or alarm.
albescent \al-BES-uhnt\ adj.
Becoming white or being whitish; to grow pale.
aleatory \EY-lee-uh-tawr-ee, -tohr-ee, AL-ee-\ adj.
Depending on chance or contingency; chosen at random or left to chance.
alethic \ah-LETH-ic, AY-leth-\ adj.
Of logic; relating to philosophical concept of truth and possibility and especially to the branch of logic that formalizes them.
algesia \al-JEE-zee-uh, -see-uh\ n.
Feeling, sensitivity to or perception of pain
algid \AL-jid\ adj.
Cold and clammy; chilly.
algolagnia \al-guh-LAG-nee-uh\ n.
Sexual pleasure from inflicting or receiving pain.
algophilist \al-guh-FIL-ist\ n.
A masochist; a sadist; one who enjoys pain.
allotropy \uh-LO-truh-pee\ n.
Existance of an element in more than one form allotrope, each having different physical but the same chemical properties; something that is fundamentally the same but has different individualized characteristics.
alluvion \uh-LOO-vee-uhn\ n.
Movement of water against the shore; the tide. Overflow, flood; sediment.
altricial \al-TRISH-uhl\ n.
Helpless or dependent; usually at birth.
amain \uh-MEYN\ (Archaic)
To a high degree, exceedingly, at full speed. With might or full force; vigorously or violently.
amanuensis \uh-man-yoo-EN-sis\ n.
Scribe; researcher, enslaved servant with secretarial duties. Secretary.
ambit \AM-bit\ n.
Range, boundry, scope, or extent.
ambiversion \am-bi-VUR-zhuhn, -shuhn, AM-bi-vur-\ n.
Combination of introversion and extroversion.
ambsace \EYMZ-eys, AMZ-\ n. (Archaic)
Bad luck or worthlessness; smallest amount or distance (also amesace).
ambuscade \AM-buh-skeyd, am-buh-SKEYD\ n./trans v.
n. to set an ambush
v. to ambush
ameliorate \uh-MEEL-yuh-reyt, uh-MEE-lee-uh-\ trans/intrans v.
To improve or make better.
amerce \uh-MURS\ trans v.
To punish arbitrarily or with a fine; to punish in general.
amphigory \AM-fi-gawr-ee, -gohr-ee\ n.
A nonsensical piece of writing, usually in verse.
anacreontic \uh-nak-ree-ON-tik\ adj.
Celebrating love and drinking; jovial, festive and amorous.
analeptic \an-l-EP-tik\ adj/n.
Stimulant; something that is restorative or invigorating. Awakening from a drug stupor.
anamnesis \an-am-NEE-sis\ n.
Recollection, memory. Recollection of the ideas, which the soul had known in a previous existence.
anent \uh-NENT\ prep. (Archaic)
About, concerning, in regard to, beside.
animadversion \an-uh-mad-VUHR-zhuhn\ n.
Harsh criticism or disapproval.
anlage \AHN-lah-guh\ n.
A basis for something; inherited predisposition.
anodyne \AN-uh-dahyn\ n/adj.
n. anything that relieves pain or distress.
adj. relieving pain; soothing the mind or feelings.
anomie \AN-uh-mee\ n.
Social instability; social alienation. Lack of moral standards.
anon \uh-NON\ adv. (Archaic)
anserine \AN-suh-rahyn, -rin\ adj.
Silly, stupid, foolish.
aperçu: \a-per-SY\ n.
Insight, summary; a hasty glance or glimpse.
apodictic \ap-uh-DIK-tik\ adj.
Incontestable, indisputably true or logically certain.
aporia \uh-PAWR-ee-uh, uh-POHR\ n.
Difficulty in establishing the truth; expression of simulate or real doubt.
aposiopesis \ap-uh-sahy-uh-PEE-sis\ n.
Sudden break in speaking.
apothegm \AP-uh-them\ n.
A short, pithy, and instructive saying or formulation; a maxim.
apotheosize \uh-POTH-ee-uh-sahyz, ap-uh-THEE-uh-sahyz\ trans. v.
To glorify or exalt; to elevate to the status of a deity
apotropaic \ap-uh-truh-PEY-ik\ adj.
Intended to ward off evil or bad luck.
appurtenance \uh-PUR-tn-uhns\ n.
Accessory; instruments or apparatus; something subordinate to another.\
aroint \uh-ROINT\ v. (Archaic)
asinegos \ah-SIN-ah-gows\ n. (Archaic)
A fool or stupid person.
asseverate \uh-SEV-uh-reyt\ v.
To declare seriously or positively; to state earnestly.
assibilate \uh-SIB-uh-leyt\ v.
To utter something with a hiss or hissing sound.
assuage \uh-SWEYJ, uh-SWEYZH\ v.
To soften, ease or lessen; to sooth or appease.
asthenic \as-THEN-ik\ adj.
Physically weak; of slender build.
astony \as-TUN-ee\ v. (Archaic)
To bewilder, confuse, stun or astonish.
ataraxia \at-uh-RAK-see-uh\ n.
Tranquility; a state of freedom from emotional disturbance and anxiety.
athwart \uh-THWAWRT\ adv/prep. (Archaic)
adv. across, in opposition to, sideways.
prep. contrary to; in opposition to.
atrabilious \ a-truh-BIL-yuhs\ adj.
Gloomy or morose; bad tempered or irritable.
aught \awt\ n/v. (Archaic)
n. anything at all, something.
v. in any degree; in any respect.
autochthonous \aw-TOK-thuh-nuhs\ adj.
Native or indigenous; of or pertaining to ideas that rise independently of the individual's own train of thought and seem instead to have some alien or external agency as their source.
autotelic \aw-tuh-TEL-ik\ adj.
Done for its own sake; having within itself the purpose of existing or happening.