SHAYNE'S EASY DATING TIP #2: Pick up the check. Pick up the table. Pick up the chairs and the waitress and the bartender. Everyone loves upper body strength.
SHAYNE'S EASY DATING TIP #3: Put your arm around her. Then your other arm. Complete the tackle. 4th down now, they have to punt. Wait this isn't right, let me try again.
SHAYNE'S EASY DATING TIP #4: Pretend to yawn. Put your arm around her. Uh oh, now you're yawning for real. Maybe just rest your eyes. Take a quick nap.
SHAYNE'S EASY DATING TIP #5: When your crush texts you, win them over by playing hard to get. Throw your phone in a river. Change your name. Move to Belgium.
You are now ready to enter the dating world!
HI I'M SHAYNE, and I'm a PROFESSIONAL VELOCIRAPTOR TRAINER.
...Kidding, I'm just some sort of artist, not something awesome like a velociraptor trainer. WHY DO I GET STUCK WITH ALL THE SHITTY JOBS. Actually, being an artist gets you used to the rejection of your brilliance, so it's perfect practice for dating.
I spend a majority of my time sitting at the computer breathing life into pixels on the screen. I SIT ON MY ASS ALL DAY AND CLICK ON THINGS UNTIL THEY LOOK COOL. You've probably seen my work on TV.
Or maybe you haven't. Call the cops I don't even care.