My original intention in creating this profile was to post summaries from my past partners to my self-summary as sometimes that can be just as honest (and/or misleading) as my own perception of myself.
The first impression of me is usually a fairly flirtatious affair. (alliteration much?) I love words and conversation just as much as I love touch and physical connection. There is nothing quite as exciting as connecting with honest people.
Look through my photos and one may assume Dave Love to be a cis-gendered male. It is a little bit more varied than that.
Unfortunately, due to the limited views of those in control of the binary world of okcupid option boxes, the closest I have been able to identify myself accurately is to state that I am a "bisexual single male".
There are many ways in which I am attracted to and choose to Love the ones around me. I am attracted to other humans (of many genders) for many various reasons and ways.
I relate best to humans on an intellectual level first and then tend to explore the sense-inspired world of physical and emotional pleasure with that person.
That is to say, according only to my experience thus far, I am mostly attracted to femme spectrum people, but mind-attracted to all genders, and heart-attracted to all genders. I am definitely open to meeting more beautiful humans that I will connect with (which is why I'm on here).
Because of this, it is often assumed by many of those who meet me that I belong to one camp or the other.
Well, lucky for me, there's more than two camps to pitch a tent or unroll a hammock or light a fire within.
I would consider myself to be Pansexual (sexual attraction, sexual desire, romantic love, or emotional attraction toward people of all gender identities and biological sexes).
Now, if you've made it this far and honestly feel aligned with the perspective that I have attempted to explain, I would be quite agreeable to meet you.
So, where is the balance between:
- feeling loved entirely by someone else,
-------------------being in the feeling of love itself
--------------------------------------feeling a love for someone else?
What if there isn't really just one SWEET SPOT or (good heavens!), infinitely more than three?
I think that what I've been allowing myself to do is to really taste each individual flavour of Love lately. As some would say, experiencing all of the FEELINGS!
Many stop exploring because they've been told to expect that there is One Candy that they haven't yet tasted that will fulfill all of their sweet tooth needs and desires. If the taste doesn't match up perfectly to my sweet-tooth needs, move on to the next one. Some even suck all of the flavour out of the candy then spit it out because it didn't taste the way they thought it was supposed to.
It's time for all of us to explore the bitter, or more umami, or more spicy or more salty or more sour. Perhaps once we do, we may realize that it isn't as unpleasant as we have been told to feel.
To only value one type of Love and one person to provide that love above all others is (for me, right now in this moment) folly.
All of the tastes, all of the feelings, and all aspects of Love give such insight to the next taste experience.
I just recently had my first consensual conversation with another human. We discussed our boundaries and what we wanted to give and receive to and from the one-time experience. We then proceeded to explore the world of the senses with each other and it was AMAZING! Consent-based conversation is so important!
Without an understanding of the other's boundaries, any relationship with another person can quickly become convoluted in misplaced expectation and miscommunication. I have seen this happen often and I would much rather create a safe space for each of us to explore than play a guessing game in which one or the other person's boundaries exceed or fall short of the other's expectation.
I don't think I have ever been "In Love" with another person. Perhaps I have and I have no idea what it looks like (and even less about what others think it is "supposed" to look like). Instead of giving so much value to other people's perceptions of being a "cute couple", how about we all communicate...all the time, about everything?
I also don't believe that I have ever been emotionally co-dependent on another person. This often leads those who do tend to rely on another person for their emotional well-being to assume that I have no feelings (perhaps these two ideas are not mutually exclusive?)
This assumption is far to the contrary. I do have feelings and emotions which are real and true. I don't feel as though my emotional identity is tied to anyone or any circumstance outside of myself. It is all NOW and only I can control them if I so choose.
Each year that passes, we all (regardless of age or species) are experiencing a growing awareness of ourSelves and how we are connected and relate to each other at an infinite level. We are becoming more interdependent on each other and less co-dependent on only one person or institution. As we learn to trust ourSelves and our own feelings as a truth that we can no longer deny, we are learning to be vulnerable with each other once again.
This theme of vulnerability and trust seems to always be peppered throughout so many conversations and thought-sharing that I have been having lately. (If not, then I usually steer the conversation in that direction anyway)
The exciting part for me to experience right now is watching as the institutions that were created during a more co-dependent era of our history are showing signs of extreme stress.
I look to the government/corporation as an institution tasked to decide what "the greater good of all" looks like. Currently, the empire of the United States is a bold example of how impossible this is in 2014.
I look to the global economic institution which is based solely on the consumption of fixed resources and placing a shifting value on all forms of life that are invaluable to our interdependence.
I look to our educational institution which was created with one style of learning and one outcome in mind; An institution which doesn't encourage challenging thought but rather a uniformity of idea and purpose with a tremendous amount of debt incurred to do so.
I look to the institution of marriage which was created when two people relied on each other to provide money and babies for each other. Now many rely on it to provide emotional stability for each other to meet the expectation surrounding this archaic institution.
Here's the beauty of all of this! The masters of these institutions seem a little confused by the level of commitment that each institution is receiving by the ones that it is supposed to be *serving*. They look down from the peak of the top-down hierarchy and wonder why these new-comers do not seem interested in climbing the pyramid as so many of them have done before
Here's my take on it from where I sit. The value that we are placing in these institutions is shifting to models which are not a series of overlapping triangles but rather a never ending pattern of intertwined circles.
We are taking the responsibility that we have given the government to legislate change in others and realizing that we can only truly change ourselves (and perhaps others by example)
The value that was once placed entirely on money as the evidence of time and hard work is now gradually being redirected to hold time as the more valuable of the two.
The Internet has blessed us all with the infinite sharing capabilities of an interdependent global life experience which (I believe) is quickly becoming more valuable than the framed piece of paper with a few signatures at the end. Deepak Chopra recently claimed that through the internet we are re-programming the planetary mind. The double rainbow guy (a.k.a. Yosemite Bear) told my friend Cora Flora that on a planetary level he believes Facebook is like consciousness and YouTube is like memory.
As many realize soon after they get married that they will never find only one person that can provide them with every need that they have ever felt, all of us are reassigning value to the many people that we are connected with day to day.
I will state that I don't think that these institutions will ever cease to exist or that they should be thrown out because the baby has outgrown the tub of bathwater.
Despite the limitations of each institution, some adapt well within them and others do not. This post is more for those who do not adapt and yet are not giving up on influencing change, living, learning, and loving. Thanks in large part to the dawn of the internet and our growing understanding of how much we are all connected by intention, thought, and love, we are all changing alongside each other.
Observing this gives me hope. And sometimes (maybe at all times), hope is perhaps the one thing that seems the most honest to me. There will always be fear lingering around every corner which can usually be seen more honestly when confronted face to face. The more interdependent that we realize that all sentient life truly is, the easier it will be to release Fear towards each other and embrace Love with each other. It's much more complex than just needing each other for survival. We are all a part of the Universe and the Universe doesn't have a center or an outer edge.
The control of money pick pockets you and tries to sell you back your watch. We trade our time for money, and then take that money and trade it back for more time. The more money we have, the less time we live in and around. The value we give to money can determine how much value we give to our time. This directly affects our ability to truly live NOW.
Planning for the future is great...however it is not the actual meaning of life. NOW is the meaning of life. That's all we have.