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24 Basingstoke, UK Genderqueer


I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 24–40
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Today – 12:24am
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body type
Strictly anything
Cancer, but it doesn’t matter
Dropped out of university
Less than $20,000
Mostly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and likes cats

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
The long and short is: I'm corrosively awkward and very self-involved, but earnestly affectionate and passionate (about certain things).

Slow-motion trainwreck, depressed & anxious cat lover, sometime vegan, medicated anti-gamer, slow reader, and serial dropout. Largely living in a bed. I'm very isolated. Mostly looking to friend, to chat, to play video games, and to cuddle. I'm also looking for a friend or friends to play tabletop games with.

Leeds / London / Basingstoke

I have gender feelings, but the reality is that some of my behaviour has been normatively male. Male pronouns I guess. (I feel like I have a lot of gender shame maybe? I don't know what my deal is.)

Birthplace: Leeds
Class: Hermit
Affinity: Sad/Obsessive
Special Skills: Panicking; Oversharing; Self-Mythologising
Hi Roll: Sense of Justice; Good Nails
Lo Roll: Life Direction; Interpersonal Skills

INTP (borderline INFP). Enneagram 5 (borderline 1). Cancer (borderline Leo). Boy (borderline not-boy). Melancholic (borderline phlegmatic). In a Big Five Personality test, I scored high on Neuroticism and Openness, and very low on Agreeableness.

I'm pretty into reading, history and video games.

I spend most of my time alone, and so my emotional intelligence is middling. I'm very sensitive to the needs of others when I'm paying attention, but I'm not always paying attention. In some contexts, I have total self-knowledge, but in others, I struggle to identify patterns in my own behaviour. I'm responsive and communicative when it suits me, and completely unreachable when it doesn't. I sometimes flippantly say hurtful things for reasons I don't fully understand.

My biggest interests by time spent are probably:

* Twine & browser games made by trans women;
* Character-driven webcomics made by trans women;
* Social history (& especially microhistory);
* Cartoons I can convince myself are transgressive;
* Constitutional design;
* Migrants' & detainees' rights in the UK;
* Old English poetry;
* Folk music performed by trans people.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
No longer trying to graduate.

Not working. Trying to be compassionate with people. Being scared of my future. Speedrunning Banjo-Kazooie, but not competitively, and never keeping note of my times. Just doing it for the sake of doing it; sucking all the joy out of one of my favourite things, because I don't know how else to deal with my love for it.

Having to sell my labour without regard for my mental health in order to gain permission to be alive
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Telling stories. Cooking for two adults. Getting upset. Fire Emblem 7.

Apparently I am excellent at appearing to be a gay cis man.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
The blog posts I like most tend to turn up on Aevee Bee's ZEAL, Dylan W Birdosaur's Tumblr, Marian Churchland's HCHOM, and Offworld.

I like novels: The Waves, A Confederacy of Dunces, Middlemarch, and The Return of the Native.

Periodicals: notoriously unclubbable types like me must find private ways of belonging. I subscribe to New Left Review, the London Review of Books, and Past & Present. I like the Wire.

In music, I'm into Janelle Monáe, Kate Bush, My Bloody Valentine, Nicki Minaj, Girlyman, Owen Pallett, Azealia Banks, Joanna Newsom, M.I.A., Momus, Neko Case, The Long Blondes, Léo Ferré, and Laura Marling.

Radio: I listen to Resonance.FM and NTS Radio a lot, and NPR, BBCs 3, 4 & 6, and the World Service, a little.

At my funeral, probably play I Was a Maoist Intellectual, Running Up that Hill, and then this:

Favourite and recently enjoyed games include Crypt of the Necrodancer, Majora's Mask, Etrian Odyssey, Fire Emblem 7, Gone Home, HUGPUNX, FF X-2, SuperHexagon, Shadow of the Colossus, Mario Kart 64, Psychonauts, Super Smash Bros., and Skies of Arcadia.

Currently, my TV is playing Twin Peaks & Broad City. Card-carrying Mad Men fan. Lots of Sailor Moon and Utena.

Movies I like include The Piano, The World's End, Alien, Brassed Off, Ratatouille, The Thief and the Cobbler, The Land Before Time, The Adventures of Baron Munchausen and Whisper of the Heart.

I like cartoons. I watch a lot of Bee & Puppycat, the Legend of Korra, Steven Universe and Adventure Time.

My favourite webcomics are Unsounded, xkcd, Dresden Codak, Kate Beaton's little holiday diaries, Computer Love, Family Man, Dicebox, and A Lesson is Learned but the Damage is Irreversible.

My absolute favourite speaking voices are those of Holly Hunter, Tariq Ali, Jarvis Cocker, Virginia Woolf, Jim Carter, and J R R Tolkein.

I can't imagine luxury communism without the framework of Bilbo's larder. Middle-Earth provides the fundament of my dreamscape. It is the front garden of my imagination, and I'll not be parted from it.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I use radio and podcasts to supplement my anaemic social interaction.

How chubby and happy everyone was in 80s manga. Why have they become so streamlined and cool?

I value my space, and require the ability to flee back to my cave. I don't think I'd eventually want to move in with a partner.

Local history is a wonderful thing to throw yourself into. Who lived in your house in 1840?

Porridge every morning, with blueberries, banana, honey and peanut butter. It's deeply indulgent. I make no apologies

My fingernails.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How mainstream video games valorise normatively male behaviour and values, while devaluing feminised labour.

How the nature of play is socially determined.

That Hannah Black essay in The New Inquiry which placed ASMR in the context of alienation of communities, and the outsourcing of affective labour under capitalism.

How I've fucked up a lot in my personal relationships, and need to learn to be a better partner and friend. Whether I'm going to be able to have warm shelter my whole life. Whether I'll find a community I can feel part of.

The endless, fascinating depths of racism, sexism and bad writing in Game of Thrones. It's just awful, but I can't look away.

How JRPG parties are like the queerfam I've never had
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Sick & sad.

Tired of the election. Democracy means waiting patiently for two neoliberal parties to compare their racisms and fiscal competencies according to strict Monetarist (or at best neo-Keynesian) criteria while disabled & poor people die because the principle guiding all public policy is the multiplication of private capital. Now they're tinkering negligibly with the edges of income tax. Cool. Bomb Parliament

Trying to catch up on my backlog of Steam games. Currently: Super Hexagon and Long Live the Queen.


Heads up to other unemployed depressed people: don't read the LinkedIn profiles of people you went to school with. It's not worth it.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are an accepting person who can spend time with an awkward loner who gets things wrong, forgets important information, and is wary of crowds, bad at communicating, and prone to sensory overstimulation.

You're a trans woman with radical politics and a lot of patience. (I know this is a big ask. I wouldn't begrudge any trans woman who didn't want to talk gender with someone like me.)

No SWP, no GamerGate, no cops (drop dead), and no fat shamers, slut shamers, or body shamers of any kind. No SWERF 'n' TERF, please. Definitely no libertarians. Tories will be shot on sight. Zionists, Tankies, Trots, Stalinists, and other apologists for state violence: don't talk to me. Absolutely nobody who denies the Shoah, the Armenian Genocide, the continued colonial war against Indigenous Americans, or any other genocide, is welcome. MRAs, PUAs, 'humanists', 'factual feminists' and misogynists in general? There's the door. 'Rationalists', effective altruists, skeptics, antitheists, and logical postivists, stay away. No men over 40.

Anxious queer vegan anarchists welcome.

Please contact me if you're into minicomix, cats, theory, anarchism, turn-based JRPGs, social history, cartoons, sandwiches, and constitutional design, because we were meant to be.