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davelydave

25 Leeds, UK Genderqueer, Non-binary, Transgender

Genderqueer, Non-binary, Transgender

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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 24–40
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Today – 8:57pm
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Other
Sign
Cancer, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Dropped out of university
Job
Hospitality
Income
Less than $20,000
Status
Single
Type
Mostly monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am not a cis man, and I am not looking for sex with men.

The long and short is: heartbroken & perennially tired communist seeks friends to be sad with. I'm corrosively awkward and very self-involved, but also earnest, affectionate and passionate.

Depressed & anxious cat lover, sometime vegan, medicated anti-gamer, slow reader, and serial dropout. Largely living in a bed. Very isolated. Not prepared to date or fuck. Mostly looking to friend, to chat, to play video games, and to cuddle. I'm also looking for friends to play tabletop games with, and people to organise with in Leeds. If you like comics and cartoons, so much the better.

Birthplace: Leeds
Class: Hermit
Affinity: Sad/Obsessive
Special Skills: Panicking; Oversharing; Self-Mythologising
Hi Roll: Sense of Justice; Good Nails
Lo Roll: Life Direction; Interpersonal Skills

INTP (borderline INFP). Enneagram 5 (borderline 1). Cancer (borderline Leo). Boy (borderline not-boy). Melancholic (borderline phlegmatic). In a Big Five Personality test, I scored high on Neuroticism and Openness, and very low on Agreeableness. I like tests. I don't take them too seriously.

I'm pretty into reading, history and video games.

I spend most of my time alone, and so my emotional intelligence is middling. I'm very sensitive to the needs of others when I'm paying attention, but I'm not always paying attention. In some contexts, I have total self-knowledge, but in others, I struggle to identify patterns in my own behaviour. I'm responsive and communicative when it suits me, and completely unreachable when it doesn't. I sometimes flippantly say hurtful things for reasons I don't fully understand.

My biggest interests by time spent are probably:

* Twine & browser games made by trans women;
* Character-driven webcomics made by trans women;
* Social history (& especially microhistory);
* Cartoons I can convince myself are transgressive;
* Constitutional design;
* Migrants' & detainees' rights in the UK;
* Old English poetry;
* Feeling cute;
* Hiding my face;
* Folk music performed by trans people.

I get the impression that it's quite a lot of work to be my friend. If you need to protect yourself from relationships like that, that's totally understandable.

My deal is kind of: pessimism and communism. I wanna revolt and play Smash Bros. Contact me if that's also your deal

I used to be the kind of revolting person who talks about how they don't think love exists and how emergency services should be run on a subscription system
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Not embarrassed to say I don't want to work.

Trying to be compassionate with people. Being scared of my future. Speedrunning Banjo-Kazooie, but not competitively, and never keeping note of my times. Just doing it for the sake of doing it; sucking all the joy out of one of my favourite things, because I don't know how else to deal with my love for it.

Having to sell my labour without regard for my mental health in order to gain permission to be alive
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Telling stories. Cooking for two adults. Getting upset. Fire Emblem 7.

Apparently I am excellent at appearing to be a gay cis man.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
The blog posts I like most tend to turn up on Aevee Bee's ZEAL, Dylan W Birdosaur's Tumblr, Marian Churchland's HCHOM, and Offworld.

I like novels: The Waves, A Confederacy of Dunces, Middlemarch, and The Return of the Native.

Periodicals: notoriously unclubbable types like me must find private ways of belonging. I subscribe to New Left Review, the London Review of Books, and Past & Present. I like the Wire.

In music, I'm into Azealia Banks, FKA Twigs, Girlyman, Kate Bush, Janelle Monáe, Owen Pallett, Joanna Newsom, M.I.A., Momus, and Neko Case.

But I desperately love frequency modulation soundtracks from old dating sims (and the odd revival like Etrian Odyssey).

Radio: I listen to Resonance.FM and NTS Radio a lot, and NPR, BBCs 3, 4 & 6, and the World Service, a little.

At my funeral, probably play I Was a Maoist Intellectual, Running Up that Hill, and then this: http://youtu.be/xgn1eHG_lr8

Favourite and recently enjoyed games include Banjo Kazooie, Dominique Pamplemousse, FF X-2, Hate Plus, The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask, Shadow of the Colossus, Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Rymdkapsel, Star Control II, and With Those We Love Alive.

The TV I most like includes Adventure Time, Borgen, Every Frame a Painting, The Legend of Korra, any Jonathan Meades programme, Mad Men (I don't accept the orthodox interpretation of the ending), Revolutionary Girl Utena, Sailor Moon, Steven Universe, and Watchdog.

Movies I like include The Piano, The World's End, Alien, Brassed Off, Ratatouille, The Thief and the Cobbler, The Land Before Time, The Adventures of Baron Munchausen and Whisper of the Heart.

My favourite webcomics are Unsounded, xkcd, Dresden Codak, Kate Beaton's little holiday diaries, Computer Love, Family Man, Dicebox, and A Lesson is Learned but the Damage is Irreversible. I will not respond to messages about your favourite Marvel or DC characters or runs. Please keep your fascination with these moribund companies or their lurid film productions to yourself.

My absolute favourite speaking voices are those of Holly Hunter, Tariq Ali, Jarvis Cocker, Virginia Woolf, Jim Carter, and J R R Tolkein.

I tend to doodle a lot of animal-human chimerae and genderqueer gourmands.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I use radio and podcasts to supplement my anaemic social interaction.

How chubby and happy everyone was in 80s manga. Why have they become so streamlined and cool?

I value my space, and require the ability to flee back to my cave. But I'm very affectionate and into forming one particularly strong bond. I'm ambivalent about moving in with a partner.

Local history is a wonderful thing to throw yourself into. Who lived in your house in 1840?

Porridge every morning, with blueberries, banana, honey and peanut butter. It's deeply indulgent. I make no apologies

My fingernails.

(I'm rendered totally helpless by 16-bit Japanese-style turn-based RPGs, especially if they're really cute and allow me to dress up my characters)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Austerity, gentrification, how to make border guards feel unsafe in every neighbourhood in Britain, black bodies, trans bodies, and disabled bodies, what I'd do to the Cabinet given a solid afternoon and a room without windows or doors, if I can make friends.

How mainstream video games valorise normatively male behaviour and values, while devaluing feminised labour.

How the nature of play is socially determined.

That Hannah Black essay in The New Inquiry which placed ASMR in the context of alienation of communities, and the outsourcing of affective labour under capitalism.

How I've fucked up a lot in my personal relationships, and need to learn to be a better partner and friend. Whether I'm going to be able to have warm shelter my whole life. Whether I'll find a community I can feel part of.

The endless, fascinating depths of racism, sexism and bad writing in Game of Thrones. It's just awful, but I can't look away.

I feel like the deficiency of Brief Encounter is that the titular event doesn't actually happen on a train. The film isn't about trains at all. Have you ever had a serendipitous conversation with a stranger in the Reading Costa? Of course not. The space is designed to make you spend money and then leave. All the magic happens on the train. A narked parent once threatened me for talking to his baby on the 0808 to Southampton Central.

How JRPG parties are like the queerfam I've never had

I used to have lots of hobbit fantasies, but now I dream about space insects building cosmic communities

I am described by those who know me as "the most selfish person I have ever met," "kind of corrosively awkward," "melodramatic, fickle, and a poor listener," "unhelpfully truculent," "fundamentally lazy," "meow," and "well, you're me son."

Types of trash I am (i.e., pop culture jokes I will get tend to be based on): DragonBall, Sonic the Hedgehog, Final Fantasy, Lord of the Rings, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Sick & sad. Napping. Being sad in a bed (join me? Not in a sex way?).

Trying to catch up on my backlog of Steam games. Currently: FTL and Lalyvilley.

This.

Heads up to other unemployed depressed people: don't read the LinkedIn profiles of people you went to school with. It's not worth it.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are an accepting person who can spend time with an awkward loner who gets it wrong, forgets things, hates crowds, communicates poorly, and is prone to sensory overstimulation.

You accept that we are not going to date or fuck.

You're a trans woman with radical politics and a lot of patience. (I know this is a big ask. I wouldn't begrudge any trans women who didn't want to talk gender with someone like me.)

No SWP, no GamerGate, no cops, and no fat shamers, slut shamers, or body shamers of any kind. No SWERF 'n' TERF. Definitely no libertarians. Tories will be shot on sight. Zionists, Tankies, Trots, Stalinists, and other apologists for state violence: don't talk to me. 'Sapiosexuals' or anyone who isn't an explicit anti-ableist: no. Absolutely nobody who denies the Shoah, the Armenian Genocide, the continued colonial war against Indigenous Americans, or any other genocide, is welcome. MRAs, PUAs, 'humanists', 'factual feminists' and misogynists in general? There's the door. 'Rationalists', effective altruists, skeptics, antitheists, and logical postivists, stay away. If you think some people are just too negative, fuck off. No men over 40. As a general rule, if there's a subreddit for you, I don't need you in my life.

Anxious unemployed queer vegan anarchists welcome.

Please contact me if you're into minicomix, cats, theory, anarchism, turn-based JRPGs, social history, cartoons, sandwiches, and constitutional design, because we were meant to be.