Trust me, you've never met a guy like me before.
Still reading? Ok. Well, I am quite funny and entertaining, very upbeat and fun, and enjoy having a great time. I am extremely loyal to my friends and always willing to lend a hand to people in need.
I am here because Im tired of sitting here in my comfy chair, curled in the fetal position, alone in my underwear, drinking from a big ol bottle cherry vodka, crying and singing "All by Myself", well because I cant sing very well. Ive actually had some luck meeting some interesting people doing this in the past(not to mention all the great offers of winning millions from Nigeria, still waiting for my money, but when it gets here Ill be RICH!!) so here I am. My job shipped me out here from Sacramento (you BAHHHHSTERDS!). I would describe myself as 5’ 8” Im bald(shaved short so its all stubbly and feels great when you rub it....I HIGHLY recommend it) with blue eyes, and a goatee. I am a cuddly furry teddy bear kind of a guy. I am told Im very funny, open minded, very laid back, sociable, intelligent(HAHAHAHAHAHA.....ha?) maybe a little perverted on occasion. No wait...scratch that, ALOT perverted. Like I am into BDSM perverted. No, I am not here to beat the hell out of you. No, I am not looking for a one night stand. What I crave is a deep connection with someone. I am into giving pleasure, whether that be pain or sensation. My goal is to do things to you mind, body and soul, and without a deep connection, I would rather stay at home and do it myself. If you are curious I am more than willing to answer any and all questions you may have so please feel free to message me. How do I describe myself? I am the kind of guy who would send you flowers at work, leave a sweet note in your lunch box, write a smiley face heart in the fog of the bathroom mirror or maybe send you a dirty picture or text message, just to let you know Im thinking about you. The guy you could call when your having a horrible day and need some cheering up, maybe a good laugh....or if say, you were having sex with a prostitute dressed in a fuzzy bunny costume, something silly happens, the hookers dead and you need help disposing a body(like that's never happened to anyone else before right?) The kind of guy who would hold your purse in the store, or if you were on a drunken adventure, hold your hair as you got sick in the middle of the street, or bar, or back seat of the taxi. Someone to snuggle up with you as we enjoy watching Road House(it has to be on cable, how can you cut up a brilliant motion picture like that??)...or a good classic clown porn. I have a very vivid and wicked sense of imagination, and I love to be a dirty boy, but it has to be with the right woman. I dont know what Im looking for in a woman, as Ive never been the type to be attracted to any one sort of woman, its more of the person inside that I am looking for. Every guy may be looking for Barbie, but after all shes just plastic, right? Im basically just looking for someone I can grow old with, share some great times, have alot of laughs, maybe a drink or 2? I love going to the ocean, BBQing for my friends, watching cheesy movies(the worst I can find...LA LA LA((MST3K reference, sorry I had to throw it in)) Ok...Well, Im rambling at this point... Hopefully Ive been creative enough to spark some interest in chatting a bit more, and I hope to hear from you. If not, well good luck and I hope you find what you are looking for. Ok so Ive bored you enough with my profile and Im simply rambling at this point so thanks for reading and I hope to talk with you soon. I bid you good day, I said good day.
and what purple candle wax looks like melted onto a woman's body
oh and World peace.