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25 M Bristol, United Kingdom

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
A little extra
Graduated from university
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Has cats
English, German (Okay), Korean (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Hi. I'm Will, and i've instantly run out of things to say about myself. It's all been filled out and filed away further below anyway, so i'm just going to give up on this sentence half way though, like the Sopranos ending which i nev

Books, records, films - these things matter. Disagreeing about them is the a good start. I'm more fun when you're drunk.
What I’m doing with my life
When not face down in as many pillows as i can cram around my neck, I work in the science centre on the harbour. Which means I turn up, play with toys for 8 hours and go home. It's a pretty sweet gig.

For the last couple of weeks, I have made it a goal to better weaponise my time. Exercise, reading, learning Spanish and Java, finally coming around on all those little promises to myself I'd not been keeping. Self actualisation and all that.

I'm also getting round to a doing a bunch of science based stand up comedy performances. Which, not only is a thing, but also a thing that I'm not too shabby at. If you can get an audience to sympathise with conspiracy theorists and hornets, apparently that's a good thing.
I’m really good at
Optimistic nihilism, bizarre and completely obstruse bits of trivia about a lot of things, I can run a music studio and play every instrument in it, I hold my rum pretty well, and i can figure my way through a lot of languages. Badly.
The first things people usually notice about me
My beard has come to define me, and not just my jawline (chiselled as it may be), more than any personality aspect. Also my laugh has been known to topple the infirm and inebriated.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Music: Reuben, Oceansize, Biffy Clyro, Wilco, Dillinger Escape Plan, Protest the Hero, Astronautalis, The Gaslight Anthem, Owen Pallett, Arcade Fire, I Fight Dragons, Twin Atlantic, Tubelord , Welcome to Nightvale

Movies/TV: Clerks, Twin Peaks, A Scanner Darkly, Venture Bros., Inception, Rifftrax/MST3K, Archer, Predators, Oldboy, Game of Thrones, Community, Arrested Development, Parks And Rec, Standup Comedy (Bill Hicks, Russell Howard, Brendon Burns etc.)

Despite not watching actual TV, I've got a pretty solid roster of Game of Thrones, Fargo, Hannibal, Penny Dreadful, Rooster Teeth, and True Detective going on. Thank you, internet, for so many things

Authors: Charles Stross, H.P. Lovecraft, China Mieville, Terry Pratchett, Mark Z. Danielewski, David Wong, Nick Harkway, Alan Moore, Warren Ellis, Simon Morden. Currently halfway through The Dark Tower series by Stephen King. That's grabbed me by the eyeballs.
The six things I could never do without
Cereal. Real essential. Granola, if it's going.
A Watch.
Unparalleled job satisfaction
Comfortable shoes
A cupboard of condiments and spices
The option of vanishing abroad for a while.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
If there's some arcane aspect of science I can make more entertaining for tiny children and drunken grownups. Who are basically the same.
An ultimate festival line up.
The next tattoo.
Drunken bets that can only be resolved by mythbusting.
The futility of all human endeavour in the face of the inevitable heat death of the universe, and how come that isn't a valid legal defence?
Seriously, if the universe is 14.3 billion light years wide, containing millions of billions of galaxies, each containing millions of billions of stars, each of which may have dozens of planets orbiting them, each of which may have dozens of moons orbiting them, is getting drunk and hijacking a kids playground after dark really that terrible a thing? Apparently so...
On a typical Friday night I am
Being boring and indoors seeing as i work pretty much every weekend. Which means long nights with good films and occasional company, and that's not bad either. Then there are the nights when I do standup comedy about wasps in a boat. The comedy is in the boat, not wasps. So far.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
When i was 3, i got kicked out of pre-school for calling the teacher there a fat disgusting blob. Why my parents thought letting an impressionable infant watch Ghostbusters was a good idea escapes me still.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 20–30
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
You click the button by accident but think it's just in bad taste to not send a message by then.

You fancy a drink and a chat, or to experience the manliest laugh this side of the Watford Gap.

You've more to say than just "Nice beard lol". And that's a direct quote. No lie.

You don't mind that i'm adding words to the end of my profile so it will stop bugging me about this arbitrary 1,000 word point. I mean, i don't know how many words there are to start with but apparently i need more. More words offering absolutely nothing to the completeness of a profile, if every other box or field has been completed to the best of ones ability, but oh well. What can you do to defy an unfeeling and unimpassioned internet text segment? The answer to that is pithy and pointless expansion of probably the least referred to piece of information on this page. I mean, by the time you've got this far down, you've already decided if you should message me, is anything i say here going to be particularly convincing? "Well, we share some music and film tastes but i don't know...Oh wait, i'm within the preferred age range? Sold"

That may actually happen. I don't know. I'm not a clever man.