Back on okcupid after a bunch of time and (sometimes crazy) adventures, i'm still wondering what makes people so special here, or what makes special people come here.

Back to being single after a bunch of time and (always crazy) adventures, i feel like learning about freedom, trust, and condoms.

I guess it will be all right.

When i was a teenager i used to think that my biggest problem in life would to attract girls. School was ok, i didn't care about money, making music was cool, but i was ugly. Or so i felt, and the result was the same.

One day, a bit late in my opinion, things changed. Don't know why. All i remember is that i was drunk with beer and whisky-coca. But the fact is : the day before, i was ugly and rejected. The day after, i was attractive. Girls wouldn't look at me the same way, think of me the same way. I discovered this kind of dazzling feeling, when your eyes cross some desirable eyes wich desire you, and, oucchhh. That was good.

So i went out with girls for the only reason that they were good-looking and attracted by me. But soon, i've discovered something i had never suspected while i was unattractive : every good-looking girl is not attracting me.

This was the key to the definitely complicated attraction world : look for someone you find attractive, for someone who finds you attractive, don't seem to be in need of attraction, don't seem to be affected by repulsion.

Desire, as beauty, is a total injustice. And it's a total paradox too, it seeks after distinction as much as after vulgarity. That's why it's so fascinating.

"Wow, how complicated this boy sounds", she says. "Well i'm just french, but don't be afraid, he answers, i stop thinking at least twice a day".

and that's quite enough. It sometimes feels good to be tired...

ho, just a little step for humanity...