I am super awful at these things. Suffice it to say, all you really need to know about me is that I write a lot, drink coffee, and dabble in making fun of people all the time. I'm stuffed with sarcasm and often state how much I hate everything (I really don't, but that's ok).

I literally have no idea why I'm on here. It happens, I guess. Every couple months you get into one of those "fuck, I'm going to be alone forever" modes and it just messes everything up. You know?

I work as a freelance writer for several places. It's kind of like having homework all the time, actually.
I'm also learning how to play violin because why not.

Being sardonic, music trivia, meditating, and making any space I live in look like it's been lived in for over ten years.

Oh, I'm pretty damn good at having strong opinions. Apparently, this is also known as being a total bitch. So, I got that going for me.

This category is absurd. Who the hell tells people at a first meeting, "Oh, I notice your hair is dark" or "Your eyes are a beautiful golden-green color with flecks of brown."

Seriously. Absurd.

BOOKS/AUTHORS:
Sylvia Plath, John Green, Truman Capote, Charles Bukowski, David Levithan, Junot Diaz, Franz Kafka, Richard Wright, J.D. Salinger. I read a lot and will read almost anything for the sake of reading. I keep a running list of shit I've read this year.

MOVIES:
Eternal Sunshine, West Side Story, SLC Punk!, Beginners, High Fidelity, The Big Lebowski, Jurassic Park, Boogie Nights, Amelie, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Funny Face, Sabrina, Lars and The Real Girl.

SHOWS:
Parks and Rec, Doctor Who, Firefly, Dollhouse, Sherlock, Bob's Burgers, Peep Show, Home Movies, Arrested Development, Freaks and Geeks, New Girl, 30 Rock.

MUSIC:
Ween, David Bowie, Bikini Kill, Le Tigre, Pixies, Rilo Kiley, Leftover Crack, The Beatles, 100 Monkeys, Mason Jennings, The Cure, Velvet Underground, Pataphysics, Turbo Fruits, White Mystery, ∆, Neutral Milk Hotel, The Libertines, Adam and The Ants, Andrew Jackson Jihad, Dead Kennedys, Jay Reatard, Sparklehorse, Elliott Smith, Frank Zappa, Townes Van Zandt, The Kinks, T.Rex, King Crimson, Holy Fuck, Death Grips, Death From Above 1979. I have a last.fm. Message me if you want it.

FOOD:
Not shellfish. I'm super allergic to the stuff. However, I'm fairly good with whatever else.

Aside from the base level of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, this list can, and will, adjust.

How strange it is to be anything at all.

I've taken to cooking with my friends and drinking wine a lot. Or going out to dance. Or going to shows. I don't know. I also like to hole up in a coffee shop and listen to angry music while I write.

Then I also super enjoy re-watching Doctor Who or Sherlock.

Fridays are whatever, you know?

You don't mind telling people we met somewhere else.
Also, for the love of fuck, have more to say than "Hi". Shit gets old and kinda boring.
And no, I won't Skype with you, so you can really fuck off with the notion that I will.