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23 F Franklin Furnace, OH

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 10:49pm
5′ 1″ (1.55m)
Body Type
Mostly vegetarian
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Cancer, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from space camp
Art / Music / Writing
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), French (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly)

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My self-summary
I'm a misanthropic evil villain with a soft spot for homeless people & orange cats.

I just moved back here from MS where I lived downtown & so didn't need a vehicle, which means I don't have a car at the moment. Lame, I know, but if this is a problem for you then all I've really got to say is, "Sorry, brah." I'm working on it.

I travel a lot, even without a car of my own. I'm a writer, it's what we do. Dat vagabond lyf. (Maybe? No, yeah, that was a horrible attempt at humor. I apologize.)

If I froze fireflies, would they stay lit?

Cause that'd be pretty cool, ya know?

I'm really creepy, but I hear it is okay 'cause I'm pretty or something.

I like people that say "you know" instead of ask it. Bonus points if they spell things incorrectly in an ironic fashion.

I'm a francophile & a poet. It makes sense.

I get all hot & bothered whenever someone talks to me about the limbic system.

If you have a high match percentage with me, then I will probably message you, even if you live in Nicaragua. Mostly because I've just always wanted to go to Nicaragua & also because I like talking. A lot. I talk a bunch.

I have a mail-bag full of stories to deliver.

If you don't know how to play Calvinball, I don't know if I want to know you.

I like loud walks at night down dirty streets & impromptu barefoot dances on wet grass in the middle of nowhere.

Not looking for what is good enough, the enemy of the best is often the good, but I want the best. I got time.

I want to know where the hurt goes.

I have been on airplanes twelve times in the last year & a half. I have acquired an addiction. It needs treatment.

Bronies may inquire within.

"If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don't write, because our culture has no use for it." - Anais Nin
What I’m doing with my life
Trying to decide if I want to be a unicorn or manatee or if I just want to combine the two & be a manicorn/unitee. I thought about being a narwhal once, but that seemed sort of lame compared to being a unitee. I am also busy exchanging my artistic integrity for cash money & then I buy booze & give the majority to random street performers & the homeless homies I encounter on late night walks. I also spend way too much on whiskey for pretty girls.

What that really means is that I have over 11,000 tumblr followers on my writing blog (you should be so, so jealous of me) & I have been published in & seek future publications with literary journals/reviews. I am also writing a novel, working on my first poetry chapbook for the publisher that wants to, well, publish it, & doing art modeling when possible. These are all schemes.

Other than that wasting the wasted & keeping up with the cheques & balances of other people's love.

One day I want to teach creative writing at the university level. That is a long winded way of saying that I'd like to be an English college professor. Don't talk to me about the job market, I will start crying.

I'm probably not going to stay in America for my entire life.
I’m really good at
blowing shit up with my mind, being a fucking G, dancing the magic dance, making it rain on dat ass, impersonating Charles Barkley, living life hakuna matata style, Calvinball, gaining tumblr followers, decorating, writing, cooking, not staying in one place, resisting being a grown-up at all costs, getting on airplanes, hustling, deep conversations with strangers, & communicating with ponies via song & interpretive dance.

Oh, & random messages that might weird you out.
The first things people usually notice about me
The fact that I am not a zombie.
Or that I have red hair.
Either/or. It's a toss-up, really.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Food: Everything but cottage cheese.

When it comes to literature let's just leave it at me reading way too much.

Movies: Castaway on The Moon, The Chaser, The Changeling, La Belle Personne, War of The Arrows, Dans Paris, The Man From Nowhere, Les Chansons d'amour, The Host, 13 Assassins, The Banquet, Red Cliff, House of Flying Daggers, The Backwoods, Curse of The Golden Flower, Hard Boiled, Robin Hood: Men in Tights, Falling Down, The Princess Bride, Haute Tension, Old Boy, A History of Violence, Like Crazy, Ruby Sparks

Music: Illmaculate. Your Heart Breaks. The Butchies. Hole. Amanda Palmer. KoC. The Sonics. Invincible. The Heavy. Madder Mortem. Damien Rice. Filter. Catherine Wheel. Chris Pureka. Babyshambles. We Are Scientists. Snowgoons. The Indelicates. Meshell Ndegeocello. The Weepies. The Civil Wars. Ani DiFranco. Melissa Ferrick. Bastille. Tegan & Sara.

Hey, you remember that time when we would all listen to Regina Spektor?

Me either.

I'm just kidding, jeez.
The six things I could never do without
All things considered?
Language exhaled into my ear
Poetry sent via texts to my phone
way too fucking much of it.

Always want more of that.

& bubble baths,

unicorns, & dick pics.
The last one was a joke.

But I do collect those to laugh at, so
feel free.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
- Where the hell real went.
- Why I never was a cornflake girl
- Hitler's psyche
- Queer poetry
- Spoken word
- Leo Tolstoy's brain & how much I wish it were my brain
- How I lived so long using those paper ketchup cups incorrectly
- Where all the big booty bitches at
- Patriarchy & how to abolish it
- Why bacon goes so well with vanilla ice cream
- Art-shaped things
- Music-like stuff
- How weird human beings are
- Kittens. The big fluffy sort that smell like magic and glitter
- How Ian Somerhalder became such a majestic unicorn of sexy
- Where did you go, fantasy
- Nigella Lawson's voice
- French cinema
- Where do whores go (also where people who get this reference go)
- McDonald's "Cookie Tote"
I’m looking for
  • Everybody
  • Ages 22–60
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You are Buddy Wakefield & want to give me half of your brain. I am entirely serious.

You want to carry on a conversation via GIFs only.

You feel language.

You look anything like Louis Garrel. His nose is astounding.

You think ponies look best in cardigans.

You want to be facebook friends. Or real life friends.


You think your sense of humor might click with mine like a click-clack couch.

You make Rorschach tests with your own blood.

You would like someone new to trade insults and/or write with.

You want to experience everything.

Geography ain't no thang to you.

You have ever caught yourself doing this,

if you like blue shoes, bruised knees,
& the first
honeysuckles of spring
on a pink tongue.

or just if you know more about poetry than me.