Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
They were at Brite Spot. His first date since he knew for sure the
thing with the girl was over. Everything was fine and then the
speakers played John Waite’s “Missing You.” 80’s night. After that,
Elton John’s “I Guess That’s Why They Call it the Blues.” He’d been
told to pray when it hurt. Dear Lord, why not just have the clouds
spell my name and form a middle finger. His date had the kale
salad. Yeah, I went to a couple Sex Addicts meetings once, she
said. Dear Lord, forget I complained.
He fingerfucked her against a tree by Echo Park Lake. They went to
her house. Her pussy felt the same as the girl’s and he thought he
He was going to text the girl if the date didn’t pan out. what are
you doing. All lower case no punctuation. Taking the capital “W”
off “what” required more work then just letting the phone
autocorrect, but gave the appearance of nonchalance. what are you
doing. He’d been her fuckbuddy after all. That’s what he was for.
She said he was built like a Ken doll. Meant as a compliment. She
had black hair. He had a long haired black cat. At night he would
wake up and see black on his pillow and think: thank God, she isn’t
gone. He reached out to touch her. An asshole appeared by her
What are you doing, why did you leave me, did you even leave me,
are you with him right now. The tall guy with the drawl, she said I
didn’t like him at all at first but you know four glasses of rosé;
you and me shouldn’t have sex anymore, she said, and every time
he’d ever heard that he’d got the best ass of his life after. This
time was no different. She was hung over and they laid in bed all
day talking. She told him a story. For a second he saw part of her
she didn’t share. Like riding in a car in winter, passing a house
with a window lit up at night.
He woke up with the new girl naked against him. That felt the same
too. Sickness passing and in its place emptiness. I’ll take it, he
The night of Fourth of July her dog went crazy and when he parked
three blocks away he heard her barking. When he got to the house
the girl was in a towel and the dog was soaking wet and shaking.
Distant booms rattled the windows. She jumped in the shower with
me, she said. She’s never done that before. Never barked like that
before either; it’s weird. I think she knew it was you.
Yeah, she smelled me.
He sat down and the dog sat with him and she wasn’t shaking
anymore. She knows I’m the man of the house, he thought. Knows I’ll
protect her. The booms kept coming and the dog wasn’t scared. Thank
God she didn’t think I’d stop the noise. I’d really look like a
They were going to go out but they stayed in and did crosswords. He
picked her up and bent her over and lifted her poufy white rich
girl towel and fucked her with her wet black hair sticking to her
back. He could see her face in the dark glass of the door. Her eyes
were closed. She was perfect.
The next day they went to the beach. Waves so big they’d knock you
over. They were laying down finishing the crossword and the dog sat
on his back. She asked: when can I meet your friends.
They all hate you, he said. I told them you’re breaking my
Because I won’t be your girlfriend?
I was honest.
I know. They think you’re using me. I do tell them good things
… like what?
You look 14 and suck a mean dick, he said. And she laughed.
He’d told them he liked her a lot. That he could see himself with
her. That she was pretty and easy to talk to and had her shit
together but not in a drink the Kool Aid careerist way that made
you sick to hear about. How rare she was. How he hadn’t felt like
this in a long time. Hadn’t thought it could happen.
On the last day, laying in bed, he asked what the tall guy thought
of the dog. He hates her, she said. He’s insulted that I let her in
Well he has a point, he said. She’d grind her cunt on my knee when
we fucked and stick her face in trying to lick my balls. It’s
distracting. And watching her eat my cum off the sheets. It bugged
me too, he said. Thinking: when a girl brings up another guy,
defend him. Do the opposite of what you feel. The game was over but
his instincts had been beaten into him.
You were cool about her though.
She did bother me at first, he said. Barking her head off. Licking
my face with that fucking garbage mouth. Now I love her though. I’m
gonna miss her more than I’ll miss you.
It was true.
By the end it hurt him to think about her. She took him to her
boss’ vacation house in Palm Springs. Her friends came out. It was
the weekend after her birthday. She’d had a party too but he opted
not to go when she told him to act like they weren’t dating. Her
boss was rich and famous and his house had a movie theater. All
weekend they sat by the pool and when another guy would touch her
shoulder it was like a cigarette burning the back of his neck.
Someone brought a book by Ernest Hemingway. He read A Very Short
Story and thought: I need to go get gonorrhea. But when they fucked
he was back in it again. She got on top and when she was about to
cum she made a concerned face like a baby about to burp.
The morning after the new girl he said goodbye and put his pants on
and walked out onto Alvarado Street. There was a wildfire somewhere
and the light looked like the apocalypse. His phone vibrated. His
heart stopped for a second. What if it was her.
It was a friend. A guy. It said This girl is driving me nuts. Men
would text him their woman problems. He told them go fuck another
girl. They thought he was a genius.
Why are we made this way, he thought. You like them and it makes
them not like you. Find someone good and she ends up hurting you
more. No free lunch in this world. But why do you get stuck with
the bill when you’re still eating the fuckin meal.
He sighed. dude let it go, he texted. find someone else. pussy’s