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An image of delmoreschwarz
An image of delmoreschwarz
An image of delmoreschwarz
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delmoreschwarz Away

38 / M / Straight / Single

London, United Kingdom

His Details

Last Online
Online now!
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m).
Body Type
Average
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Agnosticism and very serious about it
Sign
Virgo but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from college/university
Job
Other
Income
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Speaks
English (Fluently), French (Poorly), Polish (Poorly), Armenian (Poorly), Japanese (Poorly)

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My self-summary
In the style of an old skool school report...

Attractiveness C+
Personality B-
Dependability B
Sense of humour D
Monetary value (ungraded)
Sense of romance B
Sexual stamina C
Sexual depravity B+
Sense of adventure A-
Honesty C+
Ability to amuse A- (this is a grade someone on here gave me after reading my profile, so I'm claiming it as a legitimate assessment!)

Overall - has shown some promise but could do better with more focus

I can supply references

Additional comments - don't challenge me to a game of pool. I will 8-ball you.
What I’m doing with my life
Slowly making enough faux pas on dates to fill a book. These include:

1. Telling one date (who I liked and I think liked me) that I'd been on other recent dates when she asked, then responding to the question "are you seeing any of them again?" with the answer "yeah, one of them tomorrow night actually"

2. Making tongue-in-cheek comments about being a psychopath to a date the evening before we first met

3. Going off on one about the likelihood of another holocaust in Europe within the next 20-30 years to one date who immediately replied "can we talk about something a bit more cheerful please?"

4. Berating a date for being scared of flying and telling her that I'd find dying in a plane crash an exciting way to go

5. Responding to a text from a girl saying she'd have to cancel our date as she'd got back with her separated husband with a text saying "Hey hold your horses, you might have split up with him again by next Thursday!"

I also like to introduce new words into the English language and bend the laws of gravity. And I inhale way too much cigar smoke.
I’m really good at
Deep throat blow jobs. A wasted skill on a straight man, unless times get hard.
The first things people usually notice about me
It'll be a toss up between the foaming at the mouth and the psychotic chanting
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Book - 1984 or Marabou Stork Nightmares
Movie - American Werewolf in London, Incredible Shrinking Man
Show - Father Ted (TV) Victory At The Dirt Palace (stage)
Music - David Bowie, Eyedea & Abilities
Food - Rusks, Swans' Necks
The six things I could never do without
My six wives, who I refer to as Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How complete my life will be when I find Sunday, my seventh wife.
On a typical Friday night I am
In a hotel room with two hookers and a bag of cocaine (don't tell Friday)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Throughout my life I've attracted more men than women, which leads me to believe that I'm a straight guy trapped inside a homosexual's body (ooh er).
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 30–48
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners
You should message me if
You're looking for someone who's witty, intelligent, kind, passionate, handsome and adventurous, but are willing to settle for someone who is none of these things.