delmoreschwarz
41 London, UK
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delmoreschwarz
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My self-summary
In the style of an old skool school report...

Attractiveness C+
Personality B-
Dependability B
Sense of humour D
Monetary value (ungraded)
Sense of romance B
Sexual stamina C
Sexual depravity B+
Sense of adventure A-
Honesty C+

Overall - has shown some promise but could do better.

I can supply references

Additional comments - don't challenge me to a game of pool. I will 8-ball you.
What I’m doing with my life
Making numerous faux pas on dates (inappropriate jokes/comments, discussing other dates, walking out on bad dates, pursuing unsuitable topics of conversation, getting drunk and accidentally leaving people in pubs, that sort of thing)

Frowning at my to-do list

Introducing new words into the English language

Bending the laws of gravity

Inhaling too much cigarette smoke

Other stuff. Loads of it
I’m really good at
Deep throat blow jobs. A wasted skill on a straight man, unless times get hard.
The first things people usually notice about me
It'll be a toss up between the foaming at the mouth and the psychotic chanting
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Book - 1984 or Marabou Stork Nightmares
Movie - American Werewolf in London, Incredible Shrinking Man
Show - Father Ted (TV) Victory At The Dirt Palace (stage)
Music - David Bowie, Eyedea & Abilities
Food - Rusks, Swans' Necks
The six things I could never do without
My six wives, who I refer to as Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How complete my life will be when I find Sunday, my seventh wife.
On a typical Friday night I am
In a hotel room with two hookers and a bag of cocaine (don't tell Friday)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Throughout my life I've attracted more men than women, which leads me to believe that I'm a straight guy trapped inside a homosexual's body (ooh er).
You should message me if
You're looking for someone who's witty, intelligent, kind, passionate, handsome and adventurous, but are willing to settle for someone who is none of these things.
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