You might like me.

stacking pages toward future professorin' employment; thinking; cracking grins; in broad strokes, aiming for what everyone else is (even if all our means differ).

answering e-mail within 2 weeks; fashioning arcane sheet/pillow/mattress arrangements (get at me, girlz); dickin' around on the internet; obfuscating my true talents out of Midwestern-pattern discomfort with overt self-promotion.

Probably some misleading stuff, save for the fact that I am EXTREMELY HANDSOME. (I haven't mentioned that yet? The fact that I'm DISTRACTINGLY ATTRACTIVE?)

Books: Infinite Jest; The Pale King; David Foster Wallace essay collections; stapled piles of David Foster Wallace's signed restaurant receipts; In The Lake of the Woods; American Pharaoh; American Pastoral; Portnoy's Complaint (sexxxxxxy fer shur); When She Was Good; Friday Night Lights (the original book); most of Irvine Welsh's stuff; To Hate Like This Is to Love Forever; I'll cut this short, so see also "bunch of pedantic crap you shouldn't be too concerned with unless you're weirdly daring."

Movies (nothing ridiculously arthouse): There Will Be Blood; The Big Lebowski; Barry Lyndon; Fargo; Apocalypse Now; Goodfellas; the two Godfathers of repute; No Country for Old Men; Pulp Fiction; 2001; Boogie Nights; The Social Network; Snatch; Step Brothers (I'll rush to the defense of this choice); Blades of Glory (this, too); The Messenger; Rushmore; Mulholland Drive (need to see more Lynch); A Serious Man; Dr. Strangelove.

TV: The Wire ("He really went with that first?" Yes.); Game of Thrones; Mad Men; stand-up specials; very random Food Network; College Football telecasts; I mean, this probably already pegs my taste, so, yeah, now you know.

Special Entry: Harris' Phone Corner; Harris' Foam Corner.

Music: Not too exclusive. The Hold Steady and Lucero stand out. Usually more interested in other people's musical interests.

Food: "I eat your Vindaloo. I EAT IT UP." (Alright, no more oblique half-evasions, I get it.)

my computer ("How interesting."); a set of 35 or so books from my library; self-respect; IPA; my pea coat; something I don't have yet but which will be essential.

hifalutin crap; what it takes to be satisfied; football; MS Word functions; the unreliability of the Red Line.

[CLASSIFIED]

Once, on a lonely Sunday, I decided to fill out an OKCupid profile.

(I know.)

you are interested. (Informative!)

AND/OR

You want to go to the upcoming Kyle Kinane JFL shows, or (more generally) you'd like a +1 for one of the other offerings in the June run of comedy gluttony.