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derpinasaurus24

25 F Houston, TX

I’m looking for

  • Guys who like girls
  • Ages 25–50
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 6:19pm
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Full figured
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
Yes
Drinks
Often
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Atheism, and very serious about it
Sign
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Job
Entertainment / Media
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'd really just like to find a man who's smart, knows what he wants in life, lives alone, likes to get stoned, will challenge my mind, isn't an obnoxious cunt, and wants to have lots of kinky sex on a frequent and regular basis. Oh, and who'll cuddle too.

I like strong drinks, good weed, and fun nights that will make awesome stories when I'm all old and wrinkly. I also like going places I've never been before, which is a relatively easy thing to accomplish in this city since I've only lived here a year. Art is my passion, but I'm not an artist, rather an art lover. I've been so lucky to find friends in the local arts and entertainment scene.

I love driving but lack my own vehicle since I had to leave mine in Louisiana. Ridiculous story, maybe I'll Telly you someday. Taking a solo cross country road trip is high on my bucket list, but I'm totally up for road trips involving other people.

I'm not one of those girls who'll spend all day getting ready to go out then keep you waiting another 30 minutes while I change my mind about what to wear. As long as I'm dressed and smell good then I'm good to go, I'll even put on a little makeup, but I don't see the point of wearing so much of it that I look like a different person.

I'm confident and driven to the point I come off as cocky a lot of times and tend to intimidate people. I'm a cynical optimist, I see the best in even bad situations, see the good in bad people, but still there is a part of me that distrusts everyone and totally expects for things to come crashing down. Luckily I've been through a lot in my 24 years and can handle catastrophes better than most people twice my age.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Professionally, I sell cell phones and am training to manage my own shop. Additionally, I help take care of my nephew and he takes up a lot of my time. Sometimes his schedule makes my schedule hectic. Otherwise I'm looking for cool people to hang out with and hoping to find someone awesome to spend time with and get to know.

I am seeking a relationship in the near future but I like making new friends too so feel free to approach me in regards to both.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Whatever I put my mind to, generally. Except roller skating. Because fuck that. Not going to risk breaking something again.

Here's a brief list:

Cooking
Forgetting there is a world around me when I read
Crafts
Cleaning
Giving awesome constructive criticism
Spotting talent
Dropping/running into shit
Finding new awesome music to listen to
Saving my nephew's life (not exaggerating, I've saved his life close to a dozen times)
Being open minded
Talking to people
Daydreaming
Getting way too excited about things
Laughing so hard I stop making noises and being able to breathe
Time travel (prove me wrong mofo)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm really confident and talkative. I can talk to anybody really so it's probably that I'm talking lol. If I'm not talking to someone I'm usually taking in the scene around me. I'm also very optimistic so I smile all the damn time. Okay and yeah, I'm a fat chick, so boobs and ass but I need more to go on when meeting someone than what I look like.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Cosmos by Carol Sagan, Woman on the Edge of Time, Only Begotten Daughter, The Dark Half, Maximum Ride novels, The Historian, any collection of Edgar Allen Poe's stories/poems, anything by Sophie Kinsella, even though it's all really shallow, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, et al. Good Omens is my absolute favorite book of all time.

Movies: Transformers, District 9, anything by Guillermo Del Toro, the first three Saw movies, The Secret Life of Bees, My Girl, Interview with the Vampire (even though that nutjob Tom Cruise is in it), several musicals, scientific documentaries, etc

Shows: Criminal Minds, Family Guy and the like, Criminal Minds. Yes, I know I listed it twice. Really don't watch much television though so if I am watching it's going to be something I like.

Music: Just about everything. One day it's Ray Lamontagne and Ben Harper, the next it's Deadmau5 and Skrillex, and the next it might be Lady Gaga or whatever-the-hell I'm in the mood for. I'm currently listening to a lot of Crashing Colors, this local band that I gave their first show, and Royals by Lorde has been stuck in my head for WEEKS.

Food: Lots of stuff. I went to culinary school so I'm really open to trying new things and I can cook like a freaking boss. My favorite thing to make is probably pizza though. That's right boys, I can make pizza from scratch ;)
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Clothes, not in a materialistic way, just in a I'd-really-prefer-not-to-go-to-jail-for-being-naked-in-public kind of way.

The internet because well, I'm kind of addicted to that shit.

My feet because I like to walk.

Somebody to talk to so I don't go crazy talking to myself.

Something to laugh at.

Coconut oil.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
So. Much. Random. Shit.

Art. Astrophysics. Why the fuck are humans so selfish? The Universe. Is my nephew okay? I wonder if that stranger would let me touch his beard? Does this idiot have a clue what he/she is talking about? Philosophical ideas. Am I going to die in traffic? I want to put blue in my hair. I want to put purple in my hair. This song sucks.

Yeah. Lots of random shit.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Friday nights are open again now that I don't curate a graffiti warehouse and throw parties anymore, so you should take me out for something fun. Otherwise I'll just be at home watching my nephew and getting stoned with my mom.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I snore. It's been described as "a cute little baby snore" but I'm a little self conscious about it.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are super awesome.

You have awesome beard and will let me play with it.

You like to cuddle.

You're a total nerd about something, anything.

You enjoy memes and rage comics.

You'll teach me something.

You can tolerate massive doses of sarcasm.

Inversely, you should NOT contact me if you are a bigot, are a selfish lover (seriously, I enjoy the shit out of giving head, you better be able to enthusiastically return the favor), you can't hold an intelligent conversation or type in complete sentences, think that "u" is an acceptable substitute for "you," or if you are a Republican. Just don't. I'd rather be forever alone than deal with you.