World has been a bit wild lately! ^_^;; New job is soon to start, after some major hoop jumping. But it's a great job doing welding and manufacture in Bellevue.
Might just have to sit down for an evening and do that soon. A dozen small revisions has gotten this a bit... overgrown.
I'm in a bit of a transitional period of my life right now. Lost my last job due to a workplace cleansing/shake-up, and haven't been able to find new Security work since the holidays. I'm still trying to work on my small business on the side, but it's remarkable how off-center things can get without a work schedule. I'm still... adjusting.
I'm a business owner. I design, prototype, and manufacture my own equipment for the Ren Faires and Pirate events. Sometimes it's work with others, but typically it's my own projects.
I'm a bit allergic to television, with occasional exceptions for Netflix. Really, watching movies or *shudders* watching TV shows is reserved for being social with friends and loved ones.
I'm a male INTJ. That may not mean a lot to you, but it means a lot of me! I'm quick to give people chances, but slow to trust. Always a bit wary of social activities, but I crave laughter with close friends in the privacy of home.
To be a part of my life, you need to be willing to communicate in plain english. Yes, COMMUNICATE! When you're sad, angry, happy, distracted, or being chewed on by zombies.... please take a moment, consider that if you don't say anything there is NO chance of me meeting your silent expectations, and just...
...participate in the relationship? ^_^ Friends, lovers, coworkers, it doesn't matter. If I can help, and you can communicate, we'll get along grand!
~ ~ ~
My sexuality is very important to me, and very... odd. I'm kinky, a Switch, pansexual, and Poly. It makes it hard to find a good intimate match! >_br />
~ ~ ~
I am very resistant to pop-culture, acronyms, buzz-words, and media. I don't read the paper, I read science articles. I don't catch the news, I dive deep into Wikipedia. I don't rely on others to do what I'd rather do myself. And I don't watch TV. Like.... ever. Haven't for years. So... sitting around and watching television isn't an aspiration for me.
~ ~ ~
I tend to be too : honest
Crazy, I know.... honesty! Honest about how small, frail, confused, and generally clueless even the smartest of us are. Be humble! Be aware! Embrace our ignorance so that we can look at each day with fresh eyes and LEARN.
~ ~ ~
I am an oddity, wrapped in an Enigma, toasted lightly, and always smelling savory.
Moved to Seattle over 2 years ago. It's been a very, very bumpy ride! I love the area, and all the energy crackling around this place. I'm not sure I could move away even if I wanted to.
...until I get stuck in traffic and it takes 35 minutes to go 5 exits. Or my GPS gets stolen out of my roommates car. >_< Then I wonder why the hell I moved here in the first place! I'm also having a bit of a moral dilemma with how passive-aggressive people out here tend to be. It's a bit remarkable, and was certainly shocking when I first got here.
I've been looking a LONG time for a soulmate. I have had... poor luck. I am still friends with most of my previous Partners, but not all. Each loss is something I continue to carry with me.
Dating? I'm done with dating. Just like I'm done with moving from place to place. It tatters your soul and leaves you threadbare. I want to find a Partner who believes in passion and commitment just as much as I do, and who looks at who I am, what I build, and what I'm doing with my life... and sees something they can't imagine doing without.
I want a Partner, a friend, a confidant, a rock. A woman secure in what she is, and what she wants. And someday I want to be the center of those crosshairs.
~ ~ ~
Tidbits about me:
~ I am Poly. I have never been able to be truly fulfilled with only a single Partner, though I would jump at the opportunity! The goal is always One Partner, but it never seems to quite work out that way...
That said, I have been happily and respectfully Poly for many moons. For those of you who don't know/understand, that's what the handy-dandy links are for! ^_^
For those that do understand: I am a realist. I allow people to take up the portion of my life/time/attention that they take up. If you only want/need/can handle 20% of what I have to give.... expect that somebody else is going to step forward and be a part of my situation as well. I will die happy when I finally find somebody who wants even 60% of who and what I am.
NOTE: Being Poly doesn't mean I fuck around, want casual sex, have no feelings, will cheat, etc. There are many people who call themselves Poly that do those sorts of things. I'll give you a hint: Not communicating with your Partners makes you a BAD person in general, no matter what your relationship structure! DON'T DO IT!
~ ~ ~
Jealousy is a silly, silly thing. If you want more of a person, then step up your game and get more! Or sit back and stew like a gradeschool rivalry born out of who gets a better brown-bag lunch. I don't do Jealousy. You have jealous tendencies? Move right along, please. My ideal relationships is with just one Partner... but that Partner isn't a jealous, possessive, controlling, asshole. They are secure enough in themselves that they know that if they have my commitment, it's worth keeping. It doesn't need to be constantly doubted and tested through emotional warfare.
~ ~ ~
I frequent the Ren Fairs, SCA Events (not many), and Cons around Seattle. As a builder/distributor, I have to beat feet and actually sell/upsell my own stuff. That means going in costume and putting on a good show!
.....which is stupid amounts of fun.
~ ~ ~
Empathy is actually starting to become an issue in my life: I am highly empathetic. Sulking is not harmless. Grudges aren't either. Bad juju hits me like a ton of bricks and will oftentimes derail any projects I'm working on, not to mention everything near the person with the negative emotions.
DRAMATIC PEOPLE NEED NOT APPLY!
~ I am forcibly self-aware. Sometimes painfully so. Staunchly intellectual. ALWAYS willing to communicate. Nieve, but always looking.
And it's ironic, because gender-norm would have it that I am male, therefore I do not communicate. My Partners, then would wish I would communicate more, right? Wrong. It has been my experience that MOST folk just want to feel the way they feel and be left alone to their feelings. Or, worse, they just want to vent their emotions at the other party like a 5 year old throwing a tantrum.
I DON'T WORK LIKE THAT ^_^
~ ~ ~
I believe strongly in Partnership. I am co-dependent, and share freely of what I have with the people around me. When I have money, it gets spent/invested. I don't save, and am not entirely certain if I know HOW to save money. Instead I've slowly amassed the tools and equipment enough to make my own business, along with the ever-changing needs that come with that.
I don't think it's a bad deal, personally.
~ ~ ~
I am intelligent. And it's funny, because there's no reasonable way to say this on the Internet without people freaking the hell out *laughs* I manufacture my own equipment, do all of my own design and 3D work, and then build my own product for sale! O_o It doesn't take a neural surgeon to figure out that I tick a little differently than most peoples tocks.
The internet says I have an IQ of something close to 145. I don't know what I think about that one way or another. I DO know that I've had the uncomfortable gap in maturity and intelligence be a serious factor in more than a few breakups.
So... I'm cautious about it....
~ ~ ~
There is a LOT more about me, but I don't want to spoil the fun! ^_^ I'm going to add something that is extremely important to me, however. I have Rules that I live by. These are all non-negotiable!
(In all seriousness, they are nothing sinister. Just rules that I live by. Want to be a part of my Life, even as a friend? You need to know the Rules, please)
Rule #1 - You don't say "I do" until you know who "I" is
I believe that marriage as we do it now is a silly, silly institution. Backwards, even. You shouldn't be allowed to get into a legally-binding commitment with another party (much less one of the opposite sex >_< ) without even the gentle sunlight splash of understanding about who you are and what you need as a human being.
If you don't even have at LEAST an Intermediate understanding about who you are, as a human being and individual, stay off the damn alter! And consider yourself weighed and judged if you can't resist the urge.
Rule #2 - If you have an expectation and you choose not to express it to the other party, when your expectation is not met you're not allowed to get mad about it!!
This is the Rule that I, personally, struggle with the most. Over the years I've gotten much, MUCH better about it! But it feels almost like it's the Human Condition to put expectations on people, and not feel the need to clearly communicate them.
It takes a lot of courage to hold yourself to a higher standard. To insist, to yourself, that if you didn't ACTUALLY actively let the other party know what you wanted and expected, that you need to keep your pissy mood in-check.
As a business owner and Event coordinator, I find myself wanting to string people up by their heels and flay the skin from their ragged bones on a regular basis.
Rule #2 keeps me in-check.
Rule #3 - If you find yourself saying/thinking "Everything would be fine/okay/fixed/better if (person) would just (blank)..." just..... stop. You either need to get rid of your expectation of the other person, or get that person out of your life.
There are SOME exceptions to this rule, of course. We all have problems and little things that we need to work on. As long as the expectations are on the table, clear, public, and openly communicated.... awesome! ^_^ No conflict here. Just see Rule #2!
But similar to the expectations in Rule #2, the social and emotional expectations we put on people by assuming that if they would just fix this silent (or not silent!) problem we have, everything would be 'all better'...
It's nonsense. The sort of nonsense that makes BOTH people unhappy, builds up emotional disrespect, and slowly poisons Partnerships.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I am provocative, irradiated, and zombie-prepared