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31 M Mercer Island, WA

My Details

Last Online
Mar 5
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Christianity, but not too serious about it
Taurus, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Has dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Other (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Update: I need to rewrite my profile but in lieu of that, the most pertinent info is: The below is still true but the "six weeks ago" is "5 months ago" now. So I'm moving on. Also, my wife is no longer living with me though a lot of her stuff is still here. That's slowly changing too.


First things first... I'm married, but my situation is really weird. A few months ago my wife and I agreed that we'd open up our relationship to other people. She found a boyfriend; I did nothing. About six weeks ago she told me she wants a divorce... so yeah. That's where I'm at. Given this I'm not really in the market for anything super-serious, but I do my best to not close doors unnecessarily. My wife and I are on really good terms - she's still living with me for the time being - but the marriage is over. :-( Anyway, I'm happy to share more; I'm over being quiet about it.

If you're still reading (<3 <3 <3), I'm a dependable, quiet, hardworking, somewhat old-fashioned guy. I'm well acquainted with "the friend zone" but don't have any real desire to visit there again. I'm fluent in a language you've never heard of. I grew up in the jungle (no joke). I make a mean lasagna. I have good taste in both furniture and people. I'm 31 going on 60 (get off my lawn!) I love dogs and have the two craziest Chihuahua YouTube sensations this side of the Prime Meridian (shhh, don't tell them they're so awesome - they already act like they own the place). I've made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs. Jay-Z hits me up for help with his rhymes. I've had malaria seven times and have lived to tell the tale(s).

I'm by all accounts a 'normal' guy, but I have a well-concealed kinky side that I reveal only to the truly worthy. It is highly unlikely that you have a kink or fetish that I do not either share or would entertain. That said, I'm open to being proven wrong.

My sex drive is pretty high, but my emotional energy level can sometimes be a bit low. This makes for an... interesting... combination. Sometimes it works; sometimes it doesn't.

Update: I get a lot of questions about what I mean about emotional energy. This quick illustrated guide to introversion explains it better than I can: Basically I need alone time to recharge.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm in the computer industry, sort of a weird software engineer/designer hybrid. It's working out so far. I take my work pretty seriously.

I also build web sites in my spare time, like Yeah, that's me.
I’m really good at
Listening. And no, I'm not just saying that. I'm an observer by nature, so, like Guinan, listening comes naturally.

I'm a singer, and played some shows and whatnot in college, but don't really get the chance to play much anymore. I miss it, though.

I also happen to be pretty decent at Yo-Yo, believe it or not. I have been somewhat disappointed to learn that this skill is not quite as unique in Seattle as I might have hoped.

I'm also really good in bed, or so I'm told. Comes from the listening. Good sex is all about the listening, both to your own body and to your partner's.
The first things people usually notice about me
Whatever funny/clever t-shirt I'm wearing.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I love movies. I'm pretty eclectic genre-wise, though horror has never really been my thing. I also don't typically enjoy bad movies - even the ones that *know* they're bad (Sharknado, I'm looking at you...)

My favorite movie of all time is probably American Beauty, but Pulp Fiction is up there too.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
one thing at a time. Seriously. I don't multitask well. This is simultaneously my most charming and most maddening feature.

I also spend a lot of time thinking about how best to articulate things that I want to say. I generally am a principled person, and I think a lot about how best to communicate those principles and live up to them. Wow. That sounds incredibly silly. Perhaps I need to think more about it.
On a typical Friday night I am
hanging out at home with my dogs and watching Mad Men. At least that's what my past few weekends have been.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I am an incredibly empathetic and emotional person, though you wouldn't know it to look at me. I've been described as "Vulcan," because I actually feel things incredibly deeply but I exercise a lot of control over my emotions in order to protect myself. That said, I cry a lot when watching movies or listening to This American Life or The Moth. Maybe I'm overly sentimental; I don't know. I don't know where American society got this idea that men shouldn't cry.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 22–36
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
You grew up on a tropical island or wish to live on one someday.
You speak Tok Pisin.
You like to nerd out about language and culture.
You notice that whenever you move to a new place, your first friends are always non-Americans.
You're a musician and know why music makes you cry.
You want to know how my "I've been told I'm good in bed" claim on my profile is working out in terms of dating eligibility.
You have some fantasy you just *have* to talk to someone about. Sometimes the ear of a sympathetic stranger is all you need.
You want to share philosophies on life, sex, happiness, etc.
You want to grab coffee or lunch and see where things go.
You want to chat about my perspective on being a male feminist.
You want to meet someone who will surprise you by defying almost all stereotypes.