...you desire too....?
If you can help make my profile more user friendly and less like a
conversation with me.
If you want to surf Okstupid together?
...'cause you know it's way way more "fun" to do the
judgmental-mutated-online-version-of-people-watching with someone
else. right bro?
If you want to go on a GuvmntCheez Date, where we go to Whole Joe's
i buy you what ever you want with my EBT card and we discuss the
merits, ethics, and functionality of foodstamps, shoplifting and
government programs. Then i try to get you to look in the dumpster
Or you could just have a training session with me on the normal way
to go on dates.
If you find yourself waiting for Tuesdays
If the little red button at the bottom
very often makes you well up
with awwwww teary-eyed happy-nostalgia feelings of beauty (or if
you just read smbc-comics at all).
If you think OKcupid, and most of the online world people like to
interact with, is just a place for people to feel okay passing
judgment on others (not that there's anything wrong with that...i
mean really, that what we do as humans by default) and feel in
control of things.
If you know that online interactions that do/can not contain any
experiences of "negative" emotions are not actual real
You should Not message me if:
Funny story ("funny" as in sad). The other day i was sitting next
to my housemate when she logged into her OKstupid account. She had
130 new messages.
"Holy dirty shit balls! that's a lot of messages", said me.
"Yeh i haven't checked it in about a month", she stated.
"Wot?!?", i exclaimed exclaimatively. "i just logged in the other
day after 6 months and only had 6 new messages" i slowly mummmbled
into my melting self-worth puddle.
"Oh it's not like that...most of them are 'hi' and 'your[sic] hott'
and 'nice face' and 'whats it like to have dreads?' Nothing i'm
actually going to respond to" she said in that reassuring way that
most guys are just Douchey McDouchebaggery.
"But you still have to read them all?" i asked cautiously, a theory
"Yeah i usually do" she nodded.
"Damn!" i screamed and ran.
So i have been guilty of the "hi" emails (more like "howdy" -to get
technical), much as i would shyly wave in public at someone i
thought was cute. But now I REALIZE MY FOLLY; OKstupid is not an
interchange for a "male" to bring a "female's" attention to
"checking him out", when the high message receivers ("females")
have too many others who have made the same request of them.
So to all the guys out there on this best-of-the-worst-of-ideas
(online dating)((who are never going to read this on my profile of
Your curt contentless emails are ruining all of our chances!!! Take
a moment to choose (how ever you may do that (and let me tell you
it really doesn't matter)) a few nice girls to write more than a
few nice words too.
Do not overwhelm them or they'll leave the party!!!