25 Davis, CA
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My self-summary
Howdy, I'm Seth. I'm a nerd, in almost every sense of the word. I have a bike that tries to kill me. When I conjugate verbs, I say y'all instead of you. I saw a Komodo dragon once. If you try to use linguistics to pin down where I'm from, you're gonna get lost.

Yep, I think that about covers it.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a graduate of UC Davis, and I'm currently running operations for a local retail outlet while looking for a grown-up job. When asked, I usually say I majored in college, but the diploma says Philosophy.

My ultimate life goal, however, is to make a substantial change to the English language. Currently, I'm wavering between making multiple contractions mainstream, or trying to make a new word.
I’m really good at
I know a ton of totally useless trivia, which sometimes turns into free drinks at local pub quiz nights.

I can hold a conversation about pretty much anything.

If you need someone to come in a strong third place when playing board games, I'm your guy. You know I'm definitely not going to win, but I'll give second place a run for his money.

I've never put this to the test, but I bet I could defuse bombs super well. I always know what wire to cut in TV shows, at least.
The first things people usually notice about me
Apparently I'm pretty tall?

I've got a pretty remarkable last name. It may not be the first thing you notice, but you'll remember it.

No, but seriously, it's probably my sardonic wit. Either that, or my insistence on using words like sardonic.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: let me throw out a few titles to get things going: Harry Potter, Catcher in the Rye, 1984. Also, just about anything by Vonnegut or Bill Bryson. I'm making my way through Game of Thrones at the moment. Emma might be the best book I never finished.

Movies: Favorite three movies in no particular order: Young Frankenstein, Jurassic Park, and Raiders of the Lost Ark. Favorite three romance movies (in order): Shakespeare in Love, Amelie, Top Gun.

TV: Yes. Comedy or drama, foreign or domestic; I'll watch anything. Comedy panel shows are my current favorite.

Music: I like songs that tell a story, especially if that story is about a ghost train, or a hard drinking Irishman. Also, the Mountain Goats. You should listen to them. I'll wait here...

Food: I grew up in the South, so American cuisine will always have a special place in my heart (and arteries, I suppose). I like foreign food, but anything too authentic scares me a little bit. My meager cooking ability leaves me limited to the crock pot, or grill, when I'm left to fend for myself (but I'm working on improving that).
The six things I could never do without
Running water/modern plumbing: I will gladly camp for a week or two, but after that I'm going to want a decent shower.

Whole grain Goldfish: Hands down, the best snack food in the world.

Doodling: If I have a pen, I will be doodling. I usually have a pen.

Dice: Is that weird? Probably. Haters gonna hate.

Your dog: no, seriously, I can't have a dog right now, but your dog and I are already best friends and we're planning a camping trip without you. You can come too, but don't make it weird.

My hydrometer, Ted: I brew beer, and I like to know facts. The hydrometer, which for the purposes of this joke I have named Ted, is the perfect union of those two things.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Mechanics of bipedal locomotion, civil rights of artificial intelligence, and good storytelling. I know essentially no one else actually talks about these things, so I just keep it to myself unless someone expresses an interest.
On a typical Friday night I am
It's all up in the air. Maybe a bar, maybe a cookout, maybe relaxing on the back porch. Maybe I'll finally get my act together and go on that camping trip I've been half planning for months. Do you have suggestions? Let's hear 'em.

I say maybe a bar, but that's being more ambiguous than honest. It's almost always a bar. Sometimes it's a bar, then somewhere else.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm afraid of moths. It's called mottephobia, and it's a real thing. I mean, I don't run screaming from the room. I'd consider it more of a tactical retreat until I can gather my wits.

Also, I have no idea what it means to be "rocked like a wagon wheel" (or a southbound train, for that matter), but I'm 100% sure I want to try it, unless Hootie is doing the rocking.
You should message me if
...you like hyperbole more than breathing, and you think archaisms are swell.

...you know of an awesomely bad horror movie for me to watch.

...you know of a new craft beer for me to try.