Periodically I have revelations.
Call me stupid, but I just figured out exactly what the purpose of this text field is. It is a summarization of everything listed in the rest of the text fields. or the rest of the fields are in fact an expansion or further explanation of everything contained in this text field.

I now feel compelled to make random unsupportable statements, for the sake of mischief, mayhem, and subtle to outright misinformation, because you might read all the way to the end. Or just because I can.

I am a robot indulging humanistic tendencies. I consume planets with a unique grace, tenacity and humor. Horror movies and chicken parmigiana quell my loving distaste for humanity, while metal and folk are my soundtrack for the scores of opponents I have vanquished for the sake of gathering an army of lost souls.

Continue reading for further misdirection.

You know, the same thing everyone else is doing, its just funnier when I do it. Inventing happiness, inventing struggle. Amazingly: confusing the two. Assigning meaning, arbitrarily.
Pretending to be a robot.

De-prioritizing goals. Devaluing advice and experience from elders and mentors at whim.
A recent 3rd party study revealed shocking data: Regardless of prudence, Fun > Not Fun.

Ruling, under the cover of darkness.
Flailing [in doom and nestocity].

I've been deeply craving drastic epic change for the last 2 years, but 10 years making a Practice of aware and conscientious decision making, wont allow me to commit to selling everything I own and living in a van.
Down by the river.

Finding excuses to not go to work.
Working for 18hrs straight when I want to, never when I need to.
Cobra charming.
Making my cats purr.
Making a big deal out it.
Not getting it.
Knife throwing. Blind.
Being 'well spoken for a deaf guy'.
Gleaming the cube.
Being utterly incapable of verbalization.

While neither a big reader, nor highly educated I am entirely confident in my ability to perform deductive reasoning and critical examination of new information. And fantastic head. I am also confident in my ability to call bullshit on overly intellectual nonsense, and knowing when conversation/debate/discussion is entirely futile and mutual understanding can only be achieved through some combination of name calling, finger pointing, fist shaking and making out. Or tickling...

Being amazing. Seriously, it's almost rude how awesome I can be, when I'm not failing.
Daydreaming.
Moonlighting.
Taking myself way too seriously, and not taking you seriously enough.
Erroneously thinking that I have acceptable spelling and grammar, but its just as bad as everyone else's.
Gilding the Lilly.
Picking the right time to strike. And passing it by.
Giving advice that I have no idea how implement in my own life.

Knowing exactly which of my friends I could count on to survive a zombie outbreak/alien invasion and which ones I wouldn't.

a) they saw me coming
b) that they didn't.

B) Movies: Sometimes They Come Back, Gone in 60 Seconds, Night of the Living Dead, Return of the Living Dead I & III, Bucket of Blood, Spider Baby, Reservoir Dogs, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Night of the living Bread, Braindead (DeadAlive), Nightbreed, Lostboys, House of 1000 Corpses, Frankenhooker, It, Halloween I, Nightmare on Elm Street, Office Space, Joe Dirt, The Changeling, LOTR Trilogy, Dawn of the Dead, Cemetery Man (Delamore Delamorte), The Life Aquatic, Two Lane Blacktop, Easyrider,

C) Music: Tragedy, Gehenna, Leechmilk, Emperor, Mashuga, Venom, old Metallica, Neurosis, From Ashes Rise, Marvin Gaye, Rev. H. Heat., Meteors, Hellbillys, Demented Are Go, High on Fire, Elvis, Victims, Jason Webley, Catheter, Laughing Dog, David Allan Coe, Misfits, Leonard Cohen, Clutch, Sleep, Old Grandad, Motorhead, Supersuckers, the Dwarves, Rolling Stones, Al Green, Slayer, Sleep, Kyuss, QOTSA, Brain Oil, Kylessa, Johnny Cash, Dead Kennedys, Minor Threat, Fu man chu, Acts of Sedition, Iron & Wine, Tom Waits, Social Distortion, The Sword, Electric Wizard, Bob Dylan, At the Gates, bright eyes, Jimi Hendrix, Led Zeplin, Merle Haggard,

D) Food: hella food, except things that live in bodies of water, and slimy vegetables

your art, friends, sunshine, bad movies, love, my pool cue, water, comfy chairs, coffee, cognitive ability, good music by horrible bands, my tool box, good times, discomfort, sex, good movies, complacency, my camera, tuff-ness, nails, screws, hard times, my cats!, nuts, bolts, glue, duct tape, spray paint, a good nights sleep, showering (literal and metaphorical), rainy days and nights, warm jackets, dark bars, bright lights, projects!, company, smart-assing, cigarettes, my art, good food, road trips!, disastrous consequences.

art, sculptures, pictures I want to make, cars I want to build or crash.
The ID/ego/Self.
Why exactly my cats rule more than yours, and if I just happened to find the cats I always wanted, or if they have tricked me into liking them for how they are.
How to better, more accurately, verbally communicate my goals, take further action on my goals.
Reminding myself that my goals are probably what I actually spend my time doing, and not what I or others THINK I OUGHT to be doing.

Ruling a pool table like a jerk or putting people on "your team". mostly at the ruby room.

I have never been a weekend warrior. or a 'joiner'.

-you enjoy using adjectives that end in the superlative.
-you have your own zombie outbreak/hostile invasion survival plan.