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27 New Orleans, LA Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 25-36
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Online now!
Open relationship
Relationship Type
5' 0" (1.53m)
Special Diet
Space camp
Has cats
English, Swedish (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I think too much. I say too little. I say too much. I'm an agoraphobic dork at heart, but very good at holding up the façade of "functional and charming marginally attractive girl" like some sort of martyr.

I hate taking pictures of myself, but I've recently become begrudgingly fascinated by how different I look in every single photo that exists of me.

I bought A-List last month because I was bored, but now I'm back to plebeian status.

I'm in a very happy open relationship. Please look elsewhere if you experience crippling jealousy or possessiveness, as you'll be sorely disappointed when I disappear from your radar more quickly than I entered it.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
wrangling wolves, defusing philosophical debates with logic, interjecting empathetic banter into logical analysis, playing devil's advocate with the facts to back it up, lazy seamstressing, trying to play the violin without it sounding like cat rape, finding excuses to wear costumes, never leaving my house.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being a "know-it-all". Saying incredibly tacky things. Causing rifts at family dinners. Falling asleep anywhere, anytime. Being unabashedly curious about what other people are talking about within earshot. Dressing to the nines-- conversely, dressing like a frumpy 12 year old. Over-analyzing to a fault. Talking shit. Making clothes and costumes. Alienating or endearing people within 10 minutes, sometimes sooner, all without ever realizing it's happening at all.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
According to people I know, I come across initially as shy or aloof. I've also heard "deer in the headlights" referenced at me a few times.

Once I've had a drink or two, I lay down absurd and (sometimes) untruthful dark assessments of the world around me, use seeming self-deprecation as humor, cause unintentional bruises to your ego, and make deliberately uncomfortable statements immediately before taking a purposeful drag of my cigarette as though I've said something introspective or clever. Shit, I'll do that even if I'm not drunk.

I'm apparently extraordinarily polite to strangers I meet in person, and considered to be mild-mannered and thoughtful. Oh, those poor saps.

I also "dress like a librarian" (read: grandmother). At home it's usually the same two pairs of pajamas on rotation, because I certainly can't be bothered to dress myself, much less do unnecessary laundry.

We can't all be winners.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Aside from unnerving horror stories on the internet and comically large pamphlets about Jesus hating liberals (or jesus-hating liberals), I don't read as often as I'd like.

I watch movies and listen to music, but making a grocery list of it apparently makes my profile a fucking novel, and is ultimately unimportant in the long run. Assume it's all super cool shit.

I prefer a vegan diet.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I could pretty much do without everything but delicious foods and my cat. Other things that are nice include clean dishes, cold places, relic/shrine aesthetic, and the moments of panic before I can switch on my bathroom light. You know, because monsters.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How simultaneously incredible and utterly terrible my luck can be, sometimes at the same time. I fucking hate Nancy Grace and Ayn Rand. Ancient Chinese secret. I'll start smiling when you don't make it a requisite to your validation. How is it possible for someone to create endless streams of words on the phone--and what's the point of it? Portland, Seattle, and the cold. How do I re-learn how to have fun? Quantum entanglement. If I eat enough tofu, will I finally cry watching Disney movies? Foods not to eat (tofu, corn by-products, peanut butter, TVP). Astrobabble trying to rule my moon house or whatever. Do these pants make me look faaaaaaaaaaat? I can feel the vibrations of the fabric of time and space. Like, whooooooa, maaaaaaan, the universe and shit.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Drawing. Going on impromptu camping trips. Watching terrible movies with Rifftrax dubs. Turning off my phone. Psychoanalyzing over-privileged young professionals. Doing something strange for some change.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
This one time [DATA EXPUNGED].
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you aren't an uptight, stifling presence looming over all good times to be had.

If you understand that someone says more when they say nothing at all. Specific to this scenario, if I don't respond, I'm not interested.

If you want to do weird artsy fartsy stuff or skill trading.

If you're: dark humored, tastefully honest, and assertive without prancing into arrogance without some sort of clout to back it up.

If you, too, hate eating alone.