Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I think too much. I say too little. I say too much. I'm an
agoraphobic social retard at heart, but very good at holding up the
facade of "functional and charming marginally attractive girl" like
some sort of martyr.
I hate taking pictures of myself, but I've recently become
begrudgingly fascinated by how different I look in every single
photo that exists of me.
I bought A-List last month because I was bored, but now I'm back to
plebeian status. I also don't really drink anymore.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
wrangling wolves, defusing philosophical debates with logic,
interjecting empathetic banter into logical analysis, playing
devil's advocate with the facts to back it up, lazy seamstressing,
trying to play the violin without it sounding like cat rape,
finding excuses to wear costumes, never leaving my house.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being a "know-it-all". Saying incredibly tacky things. Causing
rifts at family dinners. Falling asleep anywhere, anytime. Being
unabashedly curious about what other people are talking about
within earshot. Dressing to the nines-- conversely, dressing like a
frumpy 12 year old. Over-analyzing to a fault. Talking shit. Making
clothes. Alienating or endearing people within 10 minutes,
sometimes sooner, all without ever realizing it's happening at all.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
According to people I know, I come across initially as shy or
aloof. I've also heard "deer in the headlights" referenced at me a
Once I've had a drink or two, I lay down absurd and (sometimes)
untruthful dark assessments of the world around me, use seeming
self-deprecation as humor, cause unintentional bruises to your ego,
and make deliberately uncomfortable statements immediately before
taking a purposeful drag of my cigarette as though I've said
something introspective or clever. Shit, I'll do that even if I'm
I'm apparently extraordinarily polite to strangers I meet in
person, and considered to be mild-mannered and thoughtful. Oh,
those poor saps.
I also "dress like a librarian" (read: grandmother). At home it's
usually the same two pairs of pajamas on rotation, because I
certainly can't be bothered to dress myself, much less do
We can't all be winners.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Aside from unnerving horror stories on the internet and comically
large pamphlets about Jesus hating liberals (or jesus-hating
liberals), I don't read as often as I'd like.
I watch movies and listen to music, but making a grocery list of it
apparently makes my profile a fucking novel, and is ultimately
unimportant in the long run. Assume it's all super cool shit.
I prefer a vegan diet.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I could pretty much do without everything but delicious foods and
naps. Other things that are nice include my pet rat, sewing
machine, a pack of cigarettes, and the moments of panic before I
can switch on my bathroom light. You know, because monsters.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The death of my rosebushes and my array of neglected house plants.
I fucking hate Nancy Grace and Ayn Rand. Ancient Chinese secret.
I'll start smiling when you don't make it a requisite to your
validation. How is it possible for someone to create endless
streams of words on the phone--and what's the point of it? Jesus,
how did I not notice smoking a pack and a half of cigarettes in a 6
hour period? Portland, Seattle, and the cold. How do I re-learn how
to have fun? Quantum entanglement. If I eat enough tofu, will I
finally cry watching Disney movies? Foods not to eat (tofu, corn
by-products, peanut butter, TVP). Astrobabble trying to rule my
moon house or whatever. Do these pants make me look faaaaaaaaaaat?
I can feel the vibrations of the fabric of time and space. Like,
whooooooa, maaaaaaan, the universe and shit.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Completing never-ending piles of school work. Finding something to
eat. Watching terrible movies with Rifftrax dubs. Turning off my
phone. Psychoanalyzing over-privileged young professionals. Doing
something strange for some change.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
This one time [DATA EXPUNGED].
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you aren't an uptight, stifling presence looming over all good
times to be had.
If you think you can tolerate uncomfortable amounts of someone
else's social ineptitude.
If you understand that someone says more when they say nothing at
all. Specific to this scenario, if I don't respond, I'm not
If you want to help me get back into ballroom dancing.
If you want to do weird artsy fartsy stuff or skill trading.
If you're: dark humored, tastefully honest, and assertive without
prancing into arrogance without some sort of clout to back it
If you, too, hate eating alone.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.