Did you know that if you gave the Dalai Lama an orange, he'll go bananas?
Loving all the cats.
And trying to make you smile.
I'm also good at naming cats. Really good.
Some people call me the Meow Master.
I'm American, you're an asshole.
"No, really, what race are you?"
"If you only read the books everyone else is reading, then you can only think what everyone else is thinking." -Murakami
The irony is that almost everyone I know has read Kafka on the Shore.
Did you know that Glorious Leader Kim Jung Il invented both Chex cereal and Chex Party Mix, named for the Korean Worker's Party?
I always carry around a copy of T.S. Eliot's Old_Possum's_Book_of Practical_Cats. Because it's necessary.
And cats. Meow meow meow.
Yelling at strangers
Let's put things on them when they're asleep. That'll teach those furry bastards to be so smug.
I intentionally put my trousers on by standing in them and pulling them over both my legs at once, just so I can say I'm not like everyone else. I don't understand why no-one else does it, it's not much harder than putting them on one leg at a time.
I'm a first-rate bastard.
I'm a two-bit punk.
Swag? Class? What happened to being earnest and good?