I'm kind of nerdy. I've never really understood how to deal with
women. Here's an example. I saw a woman at work recently. I grabbed
the nearest fire extinguisher, aimed at the base of the woman, and
swept side to side. My supervisor saw this and said, "Doesn't, you
idiot! That's a not a fire, it's a woman!" I felt super dumb. She
grabbed the extinguisher and popped me in the face with it.
All my encounters with women end the same way, with me getting my
face ruined. By fists, feet, drinks, mace, tazers, weapons of
opportunity, car doors, and a boomerang once in Australia. I
flirted with misogyny, but it punched me in the face too. I even
tried men, but they just made love to my face, and that hardly
So that's me. Female fist magnet. But I know that somewhere out
there is the fist for me.
What I’m doing with my life
I work a million hours a day with a hardhat and giant torque
wrenches. I'm also in the damn Marines. I drive a yellow Beetle to
balance out the manly stuff. Most of my time is devoted to working
and getting my face smashed in. For the rest, I do a lot of
reading, in the hope of learning all of science. And I'm trying to
cross over to the Navy because they have a free nuclear engineering
I want to write two books. One fiction and the other non-. I don't
say I'm writing them, because I'm not writing fast enough to
justify the present tense. At this rate, they'll get done before I
die of natural causes. That's my minimum goal.
I’m really good at
The first things people usually notice about me
. . .
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Jumper (not the awful movie), A Deepness in the Sky, The
Moon is a Harsh Mistress, The Free Lunch
Movies: Aliens and Terminator 2. If you noticed the James Cameron
trend, it ends there, let me assure you.
Shows: House and Firefly.
Music: My taste in music is beyond comprehension, but here are some
brands I like: Rammstein, Electric Six, MSI, Regina Spektor,
Eisbrecher, Disturbed, System of a Down, Apocalyptica, Metallica,
Adele, Mark M.
Food: I eat noodles and cans of beans, for very extensive and
boring scientific reasons. But you're probably concerned with
whether I can cook tasty meals. That's why this question is really
on here. The answer is yes.
The six things I could never do without
Reading material. I can't think of five more. I could pad the list
with jokes like "air", but that's been done. I really don't need a
lot of stuff.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How to think of things others haven't thought of before, because
the alternative seems like a waste. So I think about epistemology.
But others have thought of that too, so I try to spice it up.
On a typical Friday night I am
Seeing what's out there, getting curb stomped.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
My face has conducted more electricity than your local power
You should message me if
• You want to take a shot at me. Please, not the face.
• You want to discuss our questions. I love doing that.
• You're 100 years old or younger. 101-year-olds can kiss my
• You want more detail on my feelings about James Cameron.
• You're not just looking for a "hook up". Stealing cable is not a
• You don't want AIDS.