(This profile needs some tweaking, as some things have changed. At the moment, I am in Juneau.) I can do anything. Really! But, I am not an absolutely serious person. So there's that. This may sound ridiculous to some, but it really is quite endearing. Now, that is not to say that when the situation calls for seriousness and professionalism, that I won't do it, because I can absolutely pull that off. My silliness has brawlin buttons!
Born, at six months, and raised in Alaska (where preemie supremacy reigns supreme) I've got like three months experience on everybody. I quite often find myself doing things that don't make much sense to those around me, but, golly it causes my brain to vibrate! And then everybody catches on and we catch a real good buzz, sing out loud, jump off of and into bodies of water, fresh situations, cool scenes with genuine, salt of the universe kinda people, and wind up in the lost and found bin on the reality aisle.
I like to travel to places I've never been to, even if it only involves getting in my car and road-tripping with no real destination in mind. (Big Sur curves with LaMontagne on the radio) Fine. I've seen bits and pieces of the world and will keep doing so. Who wants to see how far out into the ocean we can swim? Ski off into the backcountry, start a small fire, look at the stars, watch a bunch of old movies, go on a space mission.
I'm a cool, fun, outgoing guy that easily makes and keeps friends wherever I go. All I want now is a beautiful girl to share nothing, something, and everything with. Jeez it'd be cool if she could ski. Or write. Or read. Well...Or not. It's nice to be ....
What I’m doing with my life
I am an artist/boss-man at an art glass studio in Portland, doing
world-wide large-scale fixtures for hotels/casino's, yacht's, rich
people, and the like. That's not what I always want to do, though.
I really want to be on a game show (I was so close to qualifying
for Jeopardy) and then a sitcom. Writing is where I'll eventually
make my fortune. I'm growing tired of working for the weekend so I
am striving to lounge for the lifetime.
I’m really good at
Getting real close to wild animals. I touched a deer two days ago.
Shit out of a shark the week before. And getting thrown into and
out of Mexican jails. They hate me so much, they throw me out.
Skiing really, really fast! Throwing a real swell dinner party.
Honestly, I'm really good at having fun. I will make you laugh,
even if it's something you don't want to laugh about. And trivia.
And nunchucks. Trust me, you'll like me. If you don't, I'll refund
your money. It's a win win.
The first things people usually notice about me
I am having fun! Muppety smile. The blood on my hands. (I work with
glass) I've forgotten you just like I should, of course I have,
except to hear you name, or someone's laugh that is the same...I've
forgotten you just like I should......
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Pulp fiction,(I take the day off of work and go to the first show
when a new Tarantino flick comes out). Star Wars, James Bond is the
coolest guy in all the land! Noir, old foreign and American films,
Jimmy Stewart, Heaven Can Wait. American Beauty is really, really
good. Drive. Coen Brothers! I wish the Farelly's would make
something like Dumb and Dumber, or Kingpin, again. I want to watch
the Criterion Collection from beginning to end. Who wants to join
Hunter Thompson, Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates, Downtown
Owl, Carter Beats the Devil, The Sun Also Rises. The short story,
Bullet in the Brain, by Tobias Wolf, is probably one of the
greatest ever written. Michael Chabon. Stranger in a Strange
Do not like classic rock. Do like Cat Stevens, TV On the Radio,
Shovels and Rope, The Knife, DeVotchka, LCD Soundsystem,
Django. Libertines. tUnE yArDs, Vampire Weekend. Here's my thing
with music...It's functionally nostalgic. Right now I'm listening
to a Chet Baker tune that I've never heard while making up a story
in my head about the time in the fifties when he recorded it
"so please forgive , this helpless haze I'm in...
..I've really never been....
...in loooove befooore..."
I like seem to enjoy burritos and barbecue and IPA and tequila.
Barbecue burritos, right? Red wine and really good cider. Love
smoked salmon like any good Athabaskin kid should. Along comes
winter and as of late I seem to enjoy the finer things in life.
Fancy crabs wearing lobster-claw necklaces riding a cow from Japan
that was fed on a baby vegan's lettuce-leaf diaper.
UPDATE: avocados and quinoa are my new faves. And I eat feelings.
The six things I could never do without
Pen. red ink.
Sense of humor. bloody skewed.
Road trips. three-foot holes.
An audience. only people of color.
Family. see above.
Movies. i'm buying.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Stories that I want to write...or live. Places that I want to go to
and the adventures and stories I will partake in there, and who I
would partake in them with! Birds and feathers and their nethers...
On a typical Friday night I am
At home writing or out for a few drinks/stunts and shenanigans. Good night for a dinner party where we all open up about past Friday's night tomfoolery. I'll make chicken Marsala.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
My first sexual experience was with a blow-up doll that I got
tricked into. It really is quite a thrilling tale. You Asked.
And I love going to the dentist. It honestly relaxes
me...aaahhhhh....Maybe it's the fingers in the mouth thing, or the
Sunset magazines. Who knows?
You should message me if
...you want to have a seriously fun time. My treat. Seriously the
most fun you've possibly ever had.
It's a totally awesome thing to get a message from a lady. Totally.
If you do it I may sing you the theme song to said message.