Sort anywhere in the world, my % enemy, minimum 3000 questions answered. 

The person who comes to the top of that list is now my rival. I will message them with a list of things I love and keep them informed of my activities.  Whenever I achieve any goals in my life I will call them to brag.  I'll send them X-mas and birthday presents that I want. 

The point being that as they are my worst enemy they will hate anything I like, and be infuriated by my success.

Of course I'll expect the same treatment in return.  I imagine life would be more interesting this way.  It would also give me a valid reason to shout someone's name angrily in public. 

But I don't want to pay money to do it.  What to do, what to do.....