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32 Sheffield, UK Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–40
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Dec 24
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), French (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hello, I'm Simon and I'm the most sane person I know.
I'm now going to write down some things that may offer some sort of insight as to who I am.

-In my opinion, the overall sum of human suffering would be reduced if Noel Edmonds lost his job.
-I'm one of those people who reads the Guardian and listens to 6 music. You know the sort, probably wears sandals and smokes a pipe (except I don't own sandals or a pipe)...
-I like to go to festivals, especially if they're called Glastonbury.
-I'm in a band, so ner. We played Glastonbury in 2010, so double ner.
-I try to lead a sustainable, low impact life.
-Annoyingly, I also like cars.
-"Question everything" - advice to live by.
-I live on a Narrowboat, which is brilliant. Sometimes I look out the window and wonder why the fuck anyone rents.
-I do actually take a lot of things seriously, the general wellbeing and future prosperity of the human race is something of considerable interest to me.
-I'm a leftie, in at least two senses of the word.
-I do enjoy a decent sea swim.
-I'm not sure how to conclude this list.

What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
You may be aware of the Kingdom of Bhutan, a country whose preferred measure of national development is GNH - gross national happiness. I take a similar approach to life - I realised towards the end of uni that i didn't want to work 9-5 in a florescent hell hole for some capitalist wanker in order to pay a mortgage. Instead I spend my days lovingly restoring the boat and I work as a bar supervisor and quizmaster at one of Sheffield's finest real ale pubs. I don't earn a great deal, but I like it there.
I'm also honing my furniture making skills at college with plans to be a professional craftsman one day, still hammering out the details there...
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I like fixing stuff. I did quite a bit of work getting the car in good nick, including repacing the engine. At the moment I'm getting the boat done all nice, which is a combination of marine engineering, carpentry, electrics and interior design.
I wouldn't say I'm really good at anything though - I am unable to form an objective opinion of my own abilities, so you'll have to ask someone else.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
There is a blue box in the top of my screen offering to increase my visibility. I can only assume it has been put there in error as I am thoroughly opaque and relatively high contrast.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I can't decide what to do with this bit. Big lists are boring and i'd miss stuff out, I'd written something about being in awe of what humanity can create at it's best but it was a bit pretentious.

Actually I'll just say some words which may or may not mean something to you....Arcade fire, Elbow, Pixies, Father Ted, Alan Partridge, Radmac, Douglas Adams, Monkfish.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I enjoy a peaceful, modest existence - All I need are the shirt on my back, a pair of trousers (largely for legal reasons), a shoe for each foot, my private yaught and my supercar.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The ducks. They're up to something and I'm going to figure it out, dammit.

About half the questions on this site should give the option "Oh I don't fuckng know"
On the subject of the questions on this site, it astonishes and depresses me the sheer number of people who seem to not only think that the earth is BIGGER THAN THE SUN, but are so confident of this that they have marked my answer as unacceptable. I mean...really? Do they really think that?

The back of that man's head looks like the finger of someone who's just grouted their bathroom.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
following Noel Edmonds, throwing things at him and then hiding behind other things.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Sometimes when I'm in the shower I find myself unsure of which leg I just washed.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
-You're not Simon Cowell. Or Noel Edmonds. Or that dick head from Maroon 5.
-you don't think the earth is bigger than the sun.
-You have experience building galleys, do get in touch - still haven't worked out how I'm going to do that bit...

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