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31 M Sheffield, United Kingdom

My Details

Last Online
Jul 19
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), French (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Hello, I'm Simon and I'm the most sane person I know.
I'm now going to write down some things that may offer some sort of insight as to who I am.

-In my opinion, the overall sum of human suffering would be reduced if Noel Edmonds lost his job.
-I'm one of those people who reads the Guardian and listens to 6 music. You know the sort, probably wears sandals and smokes a pipe (except I don't own sandals or a pipe)...
-I like to go to festivals, especially if they're called Glastonbury.
-I'm in a band, so ner. We played Glastonbury in 2010, so double ner.
-I try to lead a sustainable, low impact life.
-Annoyingly, I also like cars.
-"Question everything" - advice to live by.
-I live on a Narrowboat, which is brilliant. Sometimes I look out the window and wonder why the fuck anyone rents.
-I do actually take a lot of things seriously, the general wellbeing and future prosperity of the human race is something of considerable interest to me.
-I'm a leftie, in at least two senses of the word.
-I do enjoy a decent sea swim.
-I'm not sure how to conclude this list.

What I’m doing with my life
Boat refurbisher, rock'n'roller, supervisor, Sheffield's finest quizmaster (at one of it's finest real ale pubs). I'm also learning furniture making at college and one day I will build awesome dwellings.
I’m really good at
I like fixing stuff. I did quite a bit of work getting the car in good nick, including repacing the engine. At the moment I'm getting the boat done all nice, which is a combination of marine engineering, carpentry, electrics and interior design.
I wouldn't say I'm really good at anything though - I am unable to form an objective opinion of my own abilities, so you'll have to ask someone else.
The first things people usually notice about me
There is a blue box in the top of my screen offering to increase my visibility. I can only assume it has been put there in error as I am thoroughly opaque and relatively high contrast.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I can't decide what to do with this bit. Big lists are boring and i'd miss stuff out, I'd written something about being in awe of what humanity can create at it's best but it was a bit pretentious.

Actually I'll just say some words which may or may not mean something to you....Arcade fire, Elbow, Pixies, Father Ted, Alan Partridge, Radmac, Douglas Adams, Monkfish.
The six things I could never do without
I enjoy a peaceful, modest existence - All I need are the shirt on my back, a pair of trousers (largely for legal reasons), a shoe for each foot, my private yaught and my supercar.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The ducks. They're up to something and I'm going to figure it out, dammit.

About half the questions on this site should give the option "Oh I don't fuckng know"
On the subject of the questions on this site, it astonishes and depresses me the sheer number of people who seem to not only think that the earth is BIGGER THAN THE SUN, but are so confident of this that they have marked my answer as unacceptable. I mean...really? Do they really think that?

The back of that man's head looks like the finger of someone who's just grouted their bathroom.
On a typical Friday night I am
following Noel Edmonds, throwing things at him and then hiding behind other things.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Sometimes when I'm in the shower I find myself unsure of which leg I just washed.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–37
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
-You were going to 'rate me highly'. That keeps happening and it's annoying because I don't know who you are and I'm not going to pay to find out.
-You're not Simon Cowell. Or Noel Edmonds. Or that dick head from Maroon 5.
-you don't think the earth is bigger than the sun.
-You have experience building galleys, do get in touch - still haven't worked out how I'm going to do that bit...