Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hello, I'm Simon and I'm the most sane person I know.
I'm now going to write down some things that may offer some sort of
insight as to who I am.
-In my opinion, the overall sum of human suffering would be reduced
if Noel Edmonds lost his job.
-I'm one of those people who reads the Guardian and listens to 6
-I like to go to festivals, especially if they're called
-I'm in a band, so ner. We played Glastonbury in 2010, so double
-I try to lead a sustainable, low impact life.
-Annoyingly, I also like cars.
-"Question everything" - advice to live by.
-I live on a Narrowboat, which is brilliant. Sometimes I look out
the window and wonder why the fuck anyone rents.
-I do actually take a lot of things seriously, the general
wellbeing and future prosperity of the human race is something of
considerable interest to me.
-I'm a leftie, in at least two senses of the word.
-I do enjoy a decent sea swim.
-I'm not sure how to conclude this list.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I've been refurbishing the boat, which has taken ages but is nearly
done. Kinda figured once I'd finished it I'd get a bigger one and
do it all again, but I must admit i am becoming very fond of this
little tub. Sometimes I'm playing drums, to the awe of an adoring
audience, or just to the walls of a practice room. Work wise i'm a
bar supervisor and also Sheffield's finest quizmaster, though I
eventually intend to monetise my passion for making things out of
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I like fixing stuff. I did quite a bit of work getting the car in
good nick, including repacing the engine. At the moment I'm getting
the boat done all nice, which is a combination of marine
engineering, carpentry, electrics and interior design.
I wouldn't say I'm really good at anything though - I am unable to
form an objective opinion of my own abilities, so you'll have to
ask someone else.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
There is a blue box in the top of my screen offering to increase my
visibility. I can only assume it has been put there in error as I
am thoroughly opaque and relatively high contrast.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I can't decide what to do with this bit. Big lists are boring and
i'd miss stuff out, I'd written something about being in awe of
what humanity can create at it's best but it was a bit
Actually I'll just say some words which may or may not mean
something to you....Arcade fire, Elbow, Pixies, The War on Drugs
(not digging that name though), Suede, Father Ted, Alan Partridge,
Radmac, Douglas Adams, Monkfish.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I enjoy a peaceful, modest existence - All I need are the shirt on
my back, a pair of trousers (largely for legal reasons), a shoe for
each foot, my private yaught and my supercar.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The ducks. They're up to something and I'm going to figure it out,
About half the questions on this site should give the option "Oh I
don't fuckng know"
On the subject of the questions on this site, it astonishes and
depresses me the sheer number of people who seem to not only think
that the earth is BIGGER THAN THE SUN, but are so confident of this
that they have marked my answer as unacceptable. I mean...really?
Do they really think that?
The back of that man's head looks like the finger of someone who's
just grouted their bathroom.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
following Noel Edmonds, throwing things at him and then hiding
behind other things.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Sometimes when I'm in the shower I find myself unsure of which leg
I just washed.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
-You're not Simon Cowell. Or Noel Edmonds. Or that dick head from
-you don't think the earth is bigger than the sun.
-You have experience building galleys, do get in touch - still
haven't worked out how I'm going to do that bit...
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.