*insert witty self-deprecating nonsense here*

Right then, what fun things do I like?

I am very comfortable with my own company and really value my me time. I also love leaping into conversation with complete strangers. Lucky for me this is a town where you can do that without coming across as a freak. Saying that, I do actually have friends. I have friends that I love dearly. Quite a few of them live on the other side of the world, where I spent a good chunk of my formative years. I'm very happy to be able to communicate with them regularly, and I try to get over there every now and then.

I do like a good old natter in the pub. Sometimes I'll kick on into the wee hours. Definitely north rather than south. I find Chapel Street tasteless and pretentious.

I have an awesome two year old niece who is on record as wanting to be an uncle when she grows up. I will fight tooth and claw to keep those freaks from Access Ministries out of her school. There's no place for that bullshit anywhere near children.

You may pick up on a certain vibe here. To paraphrase Hitch, who I don't always agree with: "They are my enemy and I want to destroy them." I really do. I'm trying to avoid a rant here, but I'm flabbergasted by how many people think that creationism should be taught alongside evolution in schools.

La la la, I love road trips, getting out of the city and finding cheeky off-road camping spots. Sleeping outside, getting up with the sun and jumping into the sea is something I don't do enough!

I'll come back to this and probably rewrite it completely. Or do some of you actually dig a big rant on a profile? Hi, this is me: "Graaaaaaaaar!" I'm actually quite gentle, but I do have some strong convictions.

Maybe you can give me some sage advice on internet dating profiles. I'm a project.

Right now I'm having fun answering all these funny questions. I think I'm getting a little OCD on it.

Being a little bit good at a lot of things. Talking to myself, talking back to the radio and talking crap generally. And filling out the favourites section below apparently.

According to the random in the pub: my 'curly hair' and my 'dark eyes' -- but it was, y'know, dark. If my demonic peepers don't scare people away, they'll find that I ask a lot of questions. It doesn't usually take too long for people ask me about my accent, so I guess that's noticeable too.

I'm adding newspapers and art to this box. Between books and movies.

Breakfast of Champions, One Hundred Years of Solitude, Animal Farm, anything by Hermann Hesse (they're all the same book anyway). Other clichéd responses. Murakami bugs the crap out of me. I'm not much of a fiction reader these days which is a pity. I have, however, recently embarked on the 'novels I need to read before I die' list. It's a long list. I'm kicking off with The Brothers Karamazov which is hilarious. And I can learn everything I need to know about life from it too apparently, so that's a plus.

I can't stand Australian newspapers. No news, poorly written. In a café I tend to pick up the Herald Scum simply because it has no pretention of being a serious newspaper -- unlike The Age -- and it has that Fox News / road accident quality about it where one just can't help but stare in horror with gaping jaw. If I'm walking past a newsagent before I head into that café I'll try to grab an international edition of The Grauniad or The Independent.

Marcel Duchamp, satisfying. Bicycle Wheel, nice. Fountain, obviously. Auguste Rodin, the great grand-daddy. The Three Shades is possibly the most underrated most important piece of sculpture ever. 1892. 1892 god damn it. For painters: you haven't lived until you've seen a Caravaggio -- a real one obviously. I fulfilled a life goal last year by visiting Seurat's Sunday Afternoon. She got a bargain when she picked that one up.

Twelve Angry Men, Underground, Blade Runner, Roman Holiday, Coen brothers, Jeunet, Scorsese, Kubrick, Hitchcock. All that Roman Polanski bullshit has ruined his films for me and Terry Gilliam's too. Ho hum, he hasn't made a decent film since Fear and Loathing anyway. Screw him.

I've been known to binge consume tv. Yeah, let's watch the whole series of *insert HBO title here* this weekend. Groan. Insomnia. I love it. Carnivàle was genius. The Thick of It was greater than genius. Breaking Bad does it for me too. I've lost too much time watching crap already, so unless it's super-awesome I can't be bothered with TV. I have plenty of time for radio though. News Radio or Radio National for pottering about or working. Sorry RRRsters, I'm a PBS kid in the car. Nothing against RRR of course. I think we're fabulous for supporting them both. And the other one. And another great Melbourne production is Rap News, made by a couple of Europeans that we're very lucky to have with us. Check them out on YouTube. I don't say that often.

Afrobeat, Jazz, Funk, Reggae, Electronic. I like clever music made by actual musicians playing with other actual musicians who aren't there just to show everyone that they have the biggest dick in the room. With a few exceptions, guitar pop bores me. I know that's not a particularly popular position in this town, but it just makes me think of the lyrics to Joe's Garage every time. Refer to earlier comment about actual musicians.

Japanese food. Nom. I'll eat just about anything apart from hairy pig trotters and kimchi -- that stuff is just wrong -- and I'd rather eat a pair of scissors than eat at McDogburgers.

Good manners, Chet Baker, radio, sushi, solitude and my niece.

Things I could easily do without: parentheses.

Road trips and pipe -- or not so pipe -- dreams.

In the pub. Or not. I miss my Friday nights in city bars talking about life, the universe and everything with my pal who moved to Sydney and the interesting folks we found over the course of the evening. Come back! Come back! These days it's more likely to be a pub in Fitzroy, North Fitzroy or Collingwood and home before things get out of hand.

I had a massive crush on former Senator Nettle.

You can be patient with a noob. I'm new to this and would like to get to know my way around.