Currently, I don't date. I hang out, try to enjoy the other person, and to be myself.
I have to be honest and say that it has proved difficult in Los Angeles to find people willing to commit enough time to actually get to know someone, or meet with any regularity, let alone form a real relationship.
When I read profiles on OKC, I always think of this: relationships aren't about what you want, or about what you can give, but about what we can exchange.
Nag-aaral ko ng tagalog.
Just back from a great adventure in Europe (edit: Asia!), and excited to get started on the next phase of my life. There is a lot of "me" in what I've written below, but it's just to help people reading this profile understand where I'm coming from. It's so easy to put out of the box folks into the wrong box. When we meet I'm going to be very interested in finding out the same about you.
I'm an unusual person and have had an unusual life. When I was 27 I started having success as a musician, and for the next 15 years I was on an amazing adventure that took me all over America, meeting people and having experiences that gave me depth and wisdom. It also meant that marriage, family and typical relationships did not happen for me when it does for most people. In the last five years, as I've transitioned to a more behind the scenes role as a producer and record company owner (though I do still perform, most recently in Europe), I've also been looking inward as well as moving into new adventures in world travel and other interests like yoga. It's also been a time to expand my romantic horizons beyond the limitations of people who are around musicians and the entertainment industry. I've learned a lot.
I'm not like most people in other ways. I'm very smart, but emotional intelligence did not come naturally and developing that part of me has been a long, rewarding journey that is my proudest life achievement. I still don't always get it right, but I never stop improving that part of me. Understanding and accepting people as they truly are is central to who I am.
OKCupid has sent me on some amazing adventures, even to the other side of the world in pursuit of the right person. I've learned that we don't always need what we want, that expectations ruin everything, and that communication can be the hardest thing in the world. I would love to meet the right person and settle down, but if that's not to be, then having a great time enjoying someone's company, or exploring in other ways, is fine too. One of the great achievements recently is learning to be happy with, and by, myself. It's such a joy to be able to take people as they are, to be happy in your attraction to them, and not be wrapped up in how people react to you.
Incidentally, another reason I probably never settled down is the hot geeky girl thing did not exist when I was in my 20s. I consider this a cruel joke by fate, personally.
I tend to be attracted to people outside my own demographic. People from other cultures and generations fascinate me. I think that's because there is always so much to learn, and my life is still wide open to me. In terms of the types of people I date, I tend to stay pretty open. I've found unexpected connections with some very surprising people.
Hiking and outdoor activities are also a big part of my life. A nice thing about my lifestyle is it allows me to go hiking nearly every day. I'm very good at finding interesting places to explore.
I'm also a really good Scrabble player. If you'd like to get to know me in a slow and very relaxed way, challenge adamghost on Words With Friends.
One of the hardest things for women on a dating site is filtering the right way. A lot of guys are trolling for a physical thing. I didn't check the "casual sex" box because I don't do sex without some sort of connection, but I also think it's a good energy to have and to share, when and if it feels right.
The important thing is that everybody moves at a different pace in terms of their comfort level - some people wait hours and some people wait years, and both are fine by me. The key is RESPECT. Everybody deserves it. I also think the word "chemistry" is overrated because that's something that can sometimes develop quickly, or slowly. Sex is lovely, but in itself it is not the most important thing for me. If I'm out with you I don't have any agenda in mind. I'm just trying to take you for who you are, hope you do the same, and roll with that.
And I guess that's all for now. :)
Doing what I say I am going to do.
Actors: Animal House, Dances With Wolves, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Caddyshack, Sullivan's Travels, Caddyshack, Groundhog Day, Caddyshack, The Dead Talk Back, Starfighters. I mean, um, I really love indie films with unpronounceable foreign names. Honest I do.
Shows: Breaking Bad, MST3K, That '70s Show, HIMYM (1st 2 seasons), WKRP In Cincinnati, Buffyangelfireflydomalejosswhedonfansevergetlaid?
Music: I'm a professional musician. I hate everything*
*hate is too strong a word. Tired of mediocrity.
Something to think about (if you've gotten this far) - while it's useful, being on an internet dating site in a way shortchanges us all. When you have a veritable catalog of people to sort through, it forces us to focus on the 1% that's accessible to us in a picture or the written word.
I know I, and you, have passed by worthy people that if we met them in a coffee shop, yoga class, or some other place and had a few words with them, that we would be instantly attracted to, even if they didn't take a particularly good picture or string meaningful words together on an internet dating profile.
So if you get frustrated, just remember this is an imperfect medium for getting across who you are. But it can be a very good one for taking you to a different place. Just try not to let it get you down when it gets frustrating. Each of us has something to offer, once we find the right way to express it.
(and...you can always find a reason NOT to do something. I'm in favor of self-motivated affirmative action. I'll be here if you decide to go for it)