I'm an unusual person and have had an unusual life. When I was 27 I started having success as a musician, and for the next 15 years I was on an amazing adventure that took me all over America, meeting people and having experiences that gave me depth and wisdom. It also meant that marriage, family and typical relationships did not happen for me when it does for most people. In the last five years, as I've transitioned to a more behind the scenes role as a producer and record company owner (though I do still perform, most recently in Europe), I've also been looking inward as well as moving into new adventures in world travel and other interests like yoga. It's also been a time to expand my romantic horizons beyond the limitations of people who are around musicians and the entertainment industry. I've learned a lot.
I'm not like most people in other ways. I'm very smart, but emotional intelligence did not come naturally and developing that part of me has been a long, rewarding journey that is my proudest life achievement. I still don't always get it right, but I never stop improving that part of me. Understanding and accepting people as they truly are is central to who I am.
OKCupid has sent me on some amazing adventures, even to the other side of the world in pursuit of the right person. I've learned that we don't always need what we want, that expectations ruin everything, and that communication can be the hardest thing in the world. I would love to meet the right person and settle down, but if that's not to be, then having a great time enjoying someone's company, or exploring in other ways, is fine too. One of the great achievements recently is learning to be happy with, and by, myself. It's such a joy to be able to take people as they are, to be happy in your attraction to them, and not be wrapped up in how people react to you.
Incidentally, another reason I probably never settled down is the hot geeky girl thing did not exist when I was in my 20s. I consider this a cruel joke by fate, personally.
I tend to be attracted to people outside my own demographic. People from other cultures and generations fascinate me. I think that's because there is always so much to learn, and my life is still wide open to me. In terms of the types of people I date, I tend to stay pretty open. I've found unexpected connections with some very surprising people.
Hiking and outdoor activities are also a big part of my life. A nice thing about my lifestyle is it allows me to go hiking nearly every day. I'm very good at finding interesting places to explore.
I'm also a really good Scrabble player. If you'd like to get to know me in a slow and very relaxed way, challenge adamghost on Words With Friends.
One of the hardest things for women on a dating site is filtering the right way. A lot of guys are trolling for a physical thing. I didn't check the "casual sex" box because I don't do sex without some sort of connection, but I also think it's a good energy to have and to share, when and if it feels right.
The important thing is that everybody moves at a different pace in terms of their comfort level - some people wait hours and some people wait years, and both are fine by me. The key is RESPECT. Everybody deserves it. I also think the word "chemistry" is overrated because that's something that can sometimes develop quickly, or slowly. Sex is lovely, but in itself it is not the most important thing for me. If I'm out with you I don't have any agenda in mind. I'm just trying to take you for who you are, hope you do the same, and roll with that.
And I guess that's all for now. :)