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30 Chicago, IL Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 26–33
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Mostly vegetarian
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from law school
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
if you rate me on Quickmatch, message me too. I'm not paying for A-list. To help weed out some pre-mature 5 stars, I'm 5'8 and not religious.

No one's slick as dorktron
No one's quick as dorktron
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as dorktron's
For there's no man in town half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon!
You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on

No one's been like dorktron
A king pin like dorktron
No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like dorktron
My what a guy, that dorktron!
dorktron is the best
And the rest is all drips
In a wrestling match nobody bites like dorktron!:
For there's no one as burly and brawny:
As you see I've got biceps to spare:
Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny

No one hits like dorktron
Matches wits like dorktron
In a spitting match nobody spits like dorktron:
I'm espcially good at expectorating!!
Ten points for dorktron!

When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
Ev'ry morning to help me get large
And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs
So I'm roughly the size of a barge!
My what a guy, that dorktron!
No one shoots like dorktron
Makes those beauts like dorktron
Then goes tromping around wearing boots like dorktron

I use antlers in all of my decorating!:
My what a guy,
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
volunteering, studying, working out.

I graduated, YAY!, so I'm only studying for the bar exam. On a related note, Good News! I make a mean gin and tonic. No seriously, people have complained that my cocktails have hurt their feelings. I apologize in advance. On a related, related note, all of my jokes are bad. For this, I am not sorry.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
cooking or writing.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have broad shoulders, people keep pointing that out.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I was a philosophy major during my undergrad years. I swear that I'm not boring. Mike Foucault and Jack Derrida are overrated philosophers, but Jack had really cool hair.

I'd say more about the books I like, but I feel that it makes me sound pompous. With that said, I am well read. For anyone demanding that I list a favorite female author, Virginia Woolfe or Charlotte Perkins Gilman, pick one.

I like all movies.

I've been listening to a lot of Radiolab, This American Life, and other podcasts. I like learning far too much for a person that's annoyed by his academic workload.

I love punk rock, but I will like anything else that doesn't suck. I tend to like pyschobilly/rockabilly. The Phenomenauts are the best science-rock band ever, ever-ever. The Manges are amazing. Mischief Brew's lyrics are gorgeous and well crafted. Lately, I've been on an early blues kick. If you have any skip james, leadbelly, muddy waters, and robert johnson kicking around, lemme know.

I have the palette of a teenage mutant ninja turtle. Most of my meals are pizza.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Glen Danzig-jr-jr(my dog), punk rock, The Bulls/d-rose, good conversation, literature, expresso machine
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
sometimes I wonder what the end of the universe looks like. Is it a wall? If so, what's on the other side. Is it ever expanding? What's it expanding into? Then, I begin wondering "Am I having these thoughts, because the structure of language impacts the way I cognize ideas?" Maybe it's some strange relationship between subjects, verbs and direct objects/predicate nominatives that forces me to have these strange ideas. If so, should I be angry at my first grade teacher for imprinting on me an unrealistic view of the world?

Most of the time, I don't spend a lot of time wondering stuff like that though. Normally, I wonder why cheap booze tastes sooooo much better than expensive booze.

Why doesn't the person who lists traveling as one her interests, also tell you that she likes puppies or ice cream?

If I'm a child at heart, does that make you a pedophile, at heart?

What the fuck is bikram yogurt?

Which is the better pronounciation of Adnan's name, Add-non or Udnun? Did Adnan do it? Don't all the arguments for Adnan's innocence also apply to Jay's innocence?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
studying. naked. I thought If I lied about being naked, it would make 'studying' sound more interesting. Did it work?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
You can see pictures of my house in my instagram feed.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I'm not looking for a pen-pal. Let's go out and see if we click.

You've read this article,
and you want to break down gender and racial stereotypes/barriers. Remember, each message to a minority male counts, and only you can make a difference!

I don't want no scrubs. A scrub is a gal that can't get no love from me. In essence you should be articulate, driven, and intelligent.

You think the idea of reading a book while I study for the bar exam is erotic. Also, as a warning, I am very busy. I might be forced to read boring texts books Monday nights through Thursday nights.