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30 Chicago, IL Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 26–34
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Mostly vegetarian
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from law school
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
if you rate me on Quickmatch, message me too. I'm not paying for A-list. To help weed out some pre-mature 5 stars, I'm 5'8 and not religious. Also, I answered some of these questions in 2010. I don't know how applicable my answers are.

No one's slick as dorktron
No one's quick as dorktron
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as dorktron's
For there's no man in town half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon!
You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on

No one's been like dorktron
A king pin like dorktron
No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like dorktron
My what a guy, that dorktron!
dorktron is the best
And the rest is all drips
In a wrestling match nobody bites like dorktron!:
For there's no one as burly and brawny:
As you see I've got biceps to spare:
Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny

No one hits like dorktron
Matches wits like dorktron
In a spitting match nobody spits like dorktron:
I'm espcially good at expectorating!!
Ten points for dorktron!

When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
Ev'ry morning to help me get large
And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs
So I'm roughly the size of a barge!
My what a guy, that dorktron!
No one shoots like dorktron
Makes those beauts like dorktron
Then goes tromping around wearing boots like dorktron

I use antlers in all of my decorating!:
My what a guy,
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
volunteering, studying, working out.

I graduated, YAY!, so I'm only studying for certification exams.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
cooking or writing.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have broad shoulders, people keep pointing that out.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I was a philosophy major during my undergrad years. I swear that I'm not boring. Mike Foucault and Jack Derrida are overrated philosophers, but Jack had really cool hair.

I'd say more about the books I like, but I feel that it makes me sound pompous. With that said, I am well read. For anyone demanding that I list a favorite female author, Virginia Woolfe or Charlotte Perkins Gilman, pick one.

I like all movies. I lied. Sex and the city, it's crap. The man with one red shoe, American Splendor, Mary and Max, Slums of Beverly Hills, Triplets of Belleville, or anything else from my childhood that was awesome. Bringing out the dead is awesome. Remember when Nic Cage made not shitty movies? Me too. The Rules of Attraction, the Informers, American Pyscho; yeah, I'm on a Brett Easton Ellis kick, "deal with it, rock and roll."

I've been listening to a lot of Radiolab, This American Life, and other podcasts. I like learning far too much for a person that's annoyed by his academic workload.

I love punk rock, but I will like anything else that doesn't suck. I tend to like pyschobilly/rockabilly. The Manges are amazing. Mischief Brew's lyrics are gorgeous and well crafted. Lately, I've been on an early blues kick. If you have any skip james, leadbelly, muddy waters, and robert johnson kicking around, lemme know.

On a related tangent, I've never listened to dubstep, and I'm strangely proud of my ignorance. In a sense, it makes me feel like I've managed to avoid the sun; it's an accomplishment. Although, I'll admit that skillets girl is kinda cute. Bright eyes is painfully bad.

I have the palette of a teenage mutant ninja turtle. Most of my meals are pizza.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
words, punk rock, The Bulls/d-rose, good conversation, literature, expresso machine
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
sometimes I wonder what the end of the universe looks like. Is it a wall? If so, what's on the other side. Is it ever expanding? What's it expanding into? Then, I begin wondering "Am I having these thoughts, because the structure of language impacts the way I cognize ideas?" Maybe it's some strange relationship between subjects, verbs and direct objects/predicate nominatives that forces me to have these strange ideas. If so, should I be angry at my first grade teacher for imprinting on me an unrealistic view of the world?

Most of the time, I don't spend a lot of time wondering stuff like that though. Normally, I wonder why cheap booze tastes sooooo much better than expensive booze.

Why doesn't the person who lists traveling as one her interests, also tell you that she likes puppies or ice cream?

If I'm a child at heart, does that make you a pedophile, at heart?

What the fuck is bikram yogurt?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
studying. naked. I thought If I lied about being naked, it would make 'studying' sound more interesting. Did it work?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Just to fuck with you, I didn't list my ethnicity.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to trade punk rock credentials or discuss philosophy, literature, or something else awesome. Seriously, screw food and similar aphorisms! Thoughts and Ideas are the way to my heart. If you have them, I like you already.

You've read this article,
and you want to break down gender and racial stereotypes/barriers. Remember, each message to a minority male counts, and only you can make a difference!

You think the idea of reading a book while I study for the bar exam is erotic. Also, as a warning, I am very busy. I might be forced to read boring texts books Monday nights through Thursday nights.

Don't message me about "sex and the city", neither one of us is going to be satisfied with the answer. This isn't an invitation to talk to me about why I hate "sex and the city". Don't get me wrong, it's great that you like it. BUT, do you REALLY want to court a guy by asking him what he hates?

Anytime you look at my profile, you get, stuck in your head.

Okay, fine, it turns out the Sex and the City movies are awful, and the characters appear vapid, but the show has more depth and other crap. In fact, I really identify with that one guy with black hair. He's alright. You've bested me Sex and the City fans. You win. But if you message me using Sex and the City vernacular like "Monica, Chandler, or being there for me while being there for me too", I just won't get it. I'm only on the second season of Sex and the City. Give me time to catch up.