Rather than going into some self serving awkward monologue I would much rather just write a joke,

A Ramekin walked into a bar, the bartender says we don't serve your kind here, so he spent the rest of the night hanging out on the side.

I am a Stand up Comedian, Writer , Actor, Director, and Improv artist.

In short I bull shit professionally

Fighting crime, Building intergalactic space ships, Duels with pistols at 20 paces, predicting the future, self evaluation...

This depends entirely on weather or not I am wearing a Pirate outfit,

If I am not then probably my sense of humor

If I am... the parrot.

Words, they are my playthings

People, despite how the majority of them piss me off with grand displays of stupidity I am in fact a social creature and do enjoy the chaos they inevitably bring

Food, I was in a culinary school and as such I dont think things would be quite the same without something good to eat

Theater, I love the acting its kind of a passion

Violent video games, because the last time I went on a car thieving, hooker killing, mass murder shooting rampage on the streets of new york, I might have pissed a few people off.

passion, take it what sense thou wilt

The end of the world,

gravity,

the American revolution part 2 that shockingly hasn't happened yet, The civil war dosen't count, you are only a revolutionary if you win, otherwise you're just dead.

why a whole bunch of otherwise smart, beautiful women, list a make up accessory as one of the things they can't live without, like seriously, I've worn make up, it's itchy, and fucks with your skin, not to mention the risk of permanent injury every time you put it on, Eye pencils scare the shit out of me, and seriously, eye lash curler or make shift circumcision device?

doing Atypical things

I like broadway musicals

you answer yes to any of the following questions:

1. Do I remember how fearless it feels to take off with the wind at my heels?
2. Do I regularly find myself surrounded by blatant stupidity and contemplate exactly how long it will take for these idiots to destroy the planet?
3. Have I ever thought about the funniest ways to kill oneself? or others I don't judge
4. Is sin a basic food group?
5. Do I regularly instigate chaos and then fade into the background to watch the sparks fly?