The summary: 40-mutter crankypants smartass freakazoid fairly-oddparent seeks same...or different. Surprise me. Clown suit optional.
The standard adjectives: Happily freaky, but capable of looking respectable when necessary. Polysyllabic, but I like my dumb pleasures too. In decent shape, but certainly not a gym bunny. Geeky, but able to talk about other things. As a bonus: gainfully employed, prone to wearing clean laundry, and regularly showered and shaved. What more could you want? (Okay, yes, there's probably a list.)
The highly non-standard disclaimers: I have a girlfriend. (She's missionista here on OKC.) We've never been monogamous nor are ever likely to be, but we've been dating for (ohmigod) twenty years, share an apartment and a child, and don't seem inclined to stop soon. We're generally not trolling for threesomes here (our tastes don't overlap much, so if you're angling for the unicorn position, best to message her first), and if you want to be her friend that's between you and her— but being friendLY to her if you're ever in a room together (which will occasionally happen) is required. She's awesome, so this is usually not difficult.
Okcupid used to have a madlibs-style fill-in-the-blank self-summary in the form of "I am ____, ____ and ____." They killed those off a while back, but I was oddly proud of "I am binary, variable, and on the main sequence." If nerdy astronomy jokes are your style, we'll probably get along just fine.
Important update, 2/14: so right, down below, where it says "missing new york but not quite enough to move back yet?" About that. Current plan is that I and the aforementioned girlfriend and spawn will be returning in glorious triumph to the city that never sleeps in August 2014. So yeah, NYC people who've noticed me in your visitor list: that's why. (Lapsed boy scout that I am, I like to be prepared.) Bay Area people: still always up for making new connections, and I expect that I will be back in town at least a week a quarter for work reasons, but my time as a permanent resident of the west coast appears to be winding down for now. *sniff*