The short new April 16, 2013 version:

If you are Niles Crane searching for Liz Lemon I think we should run away in an RV together with my two dogs as our traveling companions. I'm in love with David Hyde Pierce's Niles incarnation. Take care of me and on my good health nights I'll dance with you and read to you and attend an opera or two if I'm allowed to dress up special. Health be damned.

• Now for the very detailed and in depth version just continuing to evolve as time moves on:

Last year has definitely been an example of the best of times and the worst of times, so let's hope 2013 ends with a "partner in crime" for me. I'd really enjoy at least a brief bit of romance with a fellow geek. Let me (pathetically) put it this way: If you're looking for a "Liz Lemon" of your very own, mix me with my professional unlucky in love sister, and you can end your search with me. I'd be professional as well, if not for my dammed disabilities. And I'm funny, I definitely WTMI people, and I'm worth both spending time with and energy on.

In 2012, due to a friend's generosity, I saw Stephen Hawking give a talk in Cupertino, then went with a friend of mine to a Comedy Central taping at The Fillmore. Even saw Devo and Blondie for the first time at The Warfield. For a very sick & disabled lady, I definitely spent 2012 exploring the most of the available cool options I've got - even with a lot of bad news.

*** I want a Winter Boy or Girl Friend to join me in in watching UK programs and walking my dogs and cuddling whilst reading to one another and drinking tea or alco-pops or even Gentleman Jack straight with ginger ale chasers and eating veggie food and playing with my pets and then after we've watched "Black Books" from beginning to end you'll laugh as you realize you have Dave's Syndrome and you won't mind and you'll toss your head when you have to help me beat a level in "Ratchet and Clank".***

If you enjoy cuddling, watching movies, playing RPGs, reading, creating, cooking veggie foods, and keeping the melodrama in your life limited to books you read or movies you watch, we might make a good match. Those things make me quite happy.

Cuddles to start and we'll see what happens from there.

Due to health problems I moved back to the Bay Area after years away. I live with my two cats, my Miniature Dachshund, my Pembroke Welsh Corgi, and a roommate/caregiver. There is nothing and never has or shall be between my caregiver/roommate and me. Just to make that clear. Though he's fantastic, supportive, and we appear to read one another's minds much more frequently than I approve of, he's too young. (That causes chuckles to burst forth under my breath.)

I'm allergic to cats, but my "sweetlings" are supposed to get a bath every six weeks or so to keep the dander down. I also have an aquarium that I enjoy watching. A plec named Feo has taken it over. He's over two-thirds the height of the tank. No exaggeration.

I don't tend to exaggerate. Life remains bizarre enough I've no need to.

I'm not searching for a relationship to complete me. I'm at a point where I feel ready to date again and allow a person close to me. Maybe even close enough to give full trust. I believe my friends should _and do_ take precedence in my life.

I used to be poly and I know the rules and play by them fairly, yet I'm not up for a relationship with somebody who has a primary. I _might_ date somebody who is poly and has the desire to have me as their primary. I've watched "Sister Wives" and can honestly see myself in a non-religious situation where I'm the third wife. In fact, with my illness and inability to carry children, I'd make a great third. I'm a fantastic chef/baker and babysitter, basically.

Though I'm capable of polyamoury there's the feeling in me currently desiring a relationship that has at its center the foundations of peace, patience, quiet, and calm affection. A lot certainly stems from the fact my life has no place for high maintenance types or drama queens (male or female).

If a deeper and more physical love shows up, I will be happily surprised. As of June 20th, 2011 I am divorced after a 12 year relationship, my ex and I had ten happy and loving years together and we tried remaining civil and friendly. We both put in good effort. This causes me to currently feel ambivilant about any future relationships that may come my way. Yet I know that there may appear a shocking thing in my life: deep mutual love that brings good for both.

I modeled until I was diagnosed with Addison's Disease and put on steroids - I went from 100 pounds to 215 pounds in eight months in 2009-2010. I definitely feel sensitive about the change in my appearance, as well as the loss of my health and a feeling of not recognizing myself when I look in the mirror. I'm very curvy, but if you don't find larger women sexually attractive, that does not bother me, so long as you understand that my weight is out of my control and that I make an amazing friend and a devoted one. But people should try to keep that in mind before making a snap judgment that might stop you from gaining a wonderful new platonic friend.

I love to do photography, to write song lyrics, autobiographical stories, and journaling, cook, design anything from photo shoot series to web applications. You can easily find something you want to read in my large and diverse book collection; it spans centuries and diverse fictions and serious philosophy or autobiographies or even my Terry Pratchett's Discworld collection or my Agatha Christie collection (which includes her two autobiographies or my favorite, her collection "The Mysterious Mr. Quin").

I _do_ think transguys (and lesbian transgirls) are sexy. Or _hot_. Depending on the person more than the strength of character capable of going through their change to what they feel is their proper gender.

I had major back surgery in January 2012 and spent almost six weeks in hospital or a SNF. My health is pretty cruddy and things like this aren't that unexpected.

Please do not offer me any "alternative" treatment ideas as in the past fifteen plus years I have tried this, that and the other thing. Ignoring that request is one of my biggest pet peeves and will turn me off faster than telling me that if I had a positive attitude I would get better.

Thank you for your concern though. :)

I am singular, unique, and normal.

Right now I'm trying to get my health to a stable place. I see a LOT of doctors and actually my GP wanted to get me into UCSF's neuro-endocrine teaching hospital due to the complications I've gone through. The same goes for my pain specialist and Stanford's Pain Clinic. Though I'm unsure which I should aim for as my next step. Partially due to insurance and finance troubles. Partially due to health concerns, funnily enough.

I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia multiple times, the first by a neurologist in mid-2000. That quickly was followed by my having a total hysterectomy. So even if I wanted to have children, it's not possible. Btw: I have no problem if you have children. In fact I'm not adverse to adopting or even fostering with the right person, under the right circumstances.

Next I was diagnosed with Addison's Disease. In June of 2009 I nearly died and had to be hospitalized for ten days. The steroids I'm on are keeping me alive, but bounced me from an unhealthy weight of 100 pounds to an even more unhealthy weight of 215 in less than ten months. There's problems as my body is not assimilating the cortisol (which I'm replacing with hydrocortisone) but multiple medications make it so that my good days allow me to fight through the pain, nausea, mental fog/fugue, and vertigo/dizziness to attend events with my friends. A bad day is a day when I'm stuck in bed all day. Hence a cuddler's dream!

I went to TAM8 in Las Vegas in 2010, for instance - it was a very wonderful time, if also very wearing. I try to do something with my friends that gives me pleasure whenever possible. I want to do more, but currently outside of my home I do need a wheelchair to get around - that makes things a little more difficult.

I love almost every type of food out there, so long as it's lacto-ovo vegetarian. I barely eat half the calories or carbohydrates a person is supposed to ingest in a 24 hour time period but that only means that there's usually leftovers and that I take my time so a dinner date is a pleasant experience. On one of my "good days" (or nights) we could go out to an Ethiopian or Thai.

I LOVE video games, own a PS3, a Wii, and a 360, and not only love to play, but love to watch people playing games.

Healing as much as possible in every way. Learning to recognize that just because my ex acted in a fairly typical way by leaving me just as my illness took a turn for the worst does not mean that all people will. I honestly do recognize that, especially as more time passes since he left me. But I get bummed out about the whole thing at times. Hopefully whomever wants to become a part of my life will have empathy to spare.

photography
modeling
being a true friend
design
kissing
baking

My smile, love of media, tattoos, youthful attitude, eyes, and sense of the absurd.

Authors: Nabokov, Pratchett, Hunter S. Thompson, Umberto Eco, Ellison, Gaiman, Vonnegut, P.K. Dick, Pynchon, Douglas Adams, Agatha Christie, Angela Carter, Anna Kavan, Molly Ivins, Dorothy Sayers, and much much more.

Directors: Billy Wilder, Val Lewton, David Cronenberg, David Lynch, Brad Bird, Mel Brooks (early years), Woody Allen (early years), Film Noir, Comedy, Classics, and so on...

Music: 4AD, Tool, Fear Factory, Radiohead, Dean Gray, Coil, Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Maria Callas, King Crimson, and so so so much more!

Netflix & Amazon Prime: 30Rock, Arrested Development, Twilight Zone, Black Books,Intervention, Dirty Jobs, Weird, True, & Freaky, Pingu, Doctor Who (old and new), Columbo, Soap, French & Saunders, Red Dwarf, Monty Python, Father Ted, Cowboy Bebop, Samurai Champioo, Black Adder, Venture Bros.,River Monsters with Jeremy Wade, and so forth

1. Books and Kindle

2. Camera(s)

3. iPhone and Laptop(s)

4. Friends and Loved ones

5. Multimedia: to create and to immerse one's self in

6. Love: Given and Received

And 7: Vegan Gummis!!!

Life. Atheism. Asexuality. Reasons to live. Why I love the things or people I do. Philosophy of death and dying. The iTunes University course from Harvard on "Justice" is a great example of things I enjoy thinking about.

How to manage to do things that make me happy while still dealing with being effectively trapped in bed due to my health problems.

How to become a better photographer, a better friend, a better person...

Wondering if I can trust anybody to be there for me when I reach out...

My severe weight gain and what it means to look in the mirror and not recognize one's physical self and to, if not know, at least feel that many people judge me based on their assumption that I can control how much I weigh or how I look.

The reality that I'm dying due to complications with Addison's Disease and a problem with the steroids I need to take to live and my serious allergies to Candida which the steroids cause to grow in the body as well as unknown autoimmune troubles stemming from who knows what...

I think about all these things. And much, much more.

Reading a book, watching a movie or playing a game, usually with my roommate/caregiver. Sometimes a piazza with double crust becomes involved. Unless I'm especially lucky and a friend visits so we can go out and then have a nice meal of usually Ethiopian or North Indian or Fondue either out or in, depending.

Life is very full of pain and nausea for me. I wish I meant metaphorically, but my multiple illnesses and a more recent back collapse led to a laminectomy and has created an environment that is alien. I'm also very paranoid about being rejected due to my weight.

Should a woman like Liz Lemon strike you as awesome, I might just be the woman for you. If you want to be my friend who I can spend time with doing things such as cuddling as we watch a movie or play a video game or read books. Hell, like her I used to be able to eat whatever I could, no weight gain of note. The steroids certainly changed that! Now, no matter what? I'm stuck a thick woman. Physically - not mentally. :-p

You are not frightened of death or being around somebody going through a slow process of dying due to illnesses that are taking their time to take me out.

If you're male and over 6' tall, average build, no facial hair, smart, loves media as much if not more than me, computer and or math savant, loves games, but not mind games, capable of looking pretty in the right setting, sex is inconsequential so long as everything else fits, if poly wants me as primary and enjoys extended periods of reading together, cooking together, loves watching a movie and then watching it again with the commentary turned on, wants to protect me from my encroaching illness, yet also wants to stay with me until the end, hates fighting and knows when to give space, loves animals and preferably doesn't eat them, has gone through the inevitable reactionary phase and doesn't need to pretend to be cooler-than-thou, loves tattoos and piercings, wants a person they can spoil with affection and surprises to gladden the heart, understands total hysterectomy induced intercourse pain needs workarounds, lives a love-filled life without lies, and so on...

And if you're female all of the above without the height/build - in fact change only from over 6' to under 5'8" and up the pretty factor - all else keep the same...

People worth quoting such as HL Mencken or Mark Twain. Brilliance is worth sharing. The movie "Brazil" is full of examples...I have a fetish for super smart pretty boys and girls. If you can model for me for two hours, cook a shared vegetarian meal, play FF9 again or watch "Dark City" or cuddle while reading something from either my or your personal library, sleep a bit only to get up and work with me making music or designing a killer app for maybe a phone or a new game...brilliant, androgynous, creative, a multi-media slut? We will have a great time hanging out. Love Bill Hicks? Tool? H.L. Mencken? Terry Gilliam? Billy Wilder? Stanley Donen? Cocteau Twins? Louise Brooks? All of the above? Then definitely write!