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46 Oakland, CA Woman


I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 33–53
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 7:43pm
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Strictly vegetarian
Atheism, and very serious about it
Aquarius, but it doesn’t matter
Two-year college
Art / Music / Writing
Mostly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids
Has dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
For a disabled and misanthropic person, I'm finding my social calendar filling up even though I'm taking a break from going out as much I was in 2014; I'm socializing heavily considering my health of late. I'm lucky that I'm making some truly good friends through this site.

I've pretty much realized I'm asexual to a large extent and it's a learning process. It doesn't mean I don't want a relationship - it just means any relationship will have to respect my limits whilst respecting my partner's possible needs.

In mid-January 2015 I spent a week in the hospital so I've been having that to recover from. Plus I'm dealing with some intense ongoing oral surgery that is stretching out through April of this year. I'm basically out of the dating scene whilst I heal. But new friends to watch movies with? Yes, thank you. 😊

If you enjoy cuddling, watching movies, playing RPGs, reading, creating, cooking veggie foods, and keeping the melodrama in your life limited to books you read or movies you watch, we might make a good match. Those things make me quite happy.

I live with my Miniature Dachshund (Femme Pois) and Pembroke Welsh Corgi (Zweite 'Ein'), and a roommate (who I met through this site).

I've an aquarium that I enjoy watching. A plec named Feo has taken it over. He's over two-thirds the height of the tank.

I don't tend to exaggerate. Life remains bizarre enough I've no need to.

I know no relationship can complete me. I'm at a point where I'm ready to allow people close to me. Maybe even close enough to give full trust. I believe my friends should _and do_ take precedence in my life.

I used to be poly and I know the rules and play by them fairly, yet I'm not up for a relationship with somebody who already has a primary. I _might_ date somebody who is poly and has the desire to have me as their primary.

Currently I'm desiring a relationship that has at its center the foundations of peace, patience, quiet, and calm affection. A lot certainly stems from the fact my life has no place for high maintenance types or drama queens (male or female).

I love to do photography, to write song lyrics and semi-autobiographical stories, do hardcore journaling, bake, and design anything from photo shoot series to web applications. You can easily find something you want to read in my large and diverse book collection; it spans centuries and diverse fictions and serious philosophy or autobiographies or even my Terry Pratchett's Discworld collection or my Agatha Christie collection (which includes her two autobiographies or my favorite, her collection "The Mysterious Mr. Quin").

I think transguys and transgirls are sexy. Partially due to the strength of character necessary for going through their change to what they feel is their proper gender.

Perfect dates: Staying in: Watching Netflix/Amazon Prime/YouTube/DVDs, walking my dogs, and cuddling whilst reading to one another and drinking tea or whiskey straight with a soda chaser and maybe eating homemade veggie food. Going out: Let's have Ethiopian or Thai, and hit DNA Lounge or Cat Club after Wicked Grounds, then return to walk my dogs. They are my children, after all, so they're part of the package.

I am honest, unique, and normal.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia multiple times, the first by a neurologist in mid-2000. That quickly was followed by my having a total hysterectomy. So even if I wanted to have children, it's not possible. Btw: I have no problem if you have children.

Next I was diagnosed with Addison's Disease. In June of 2009 I nearly died and had to be hospitalized. The cortisol replacement I was on helped keep me alive, but bounced me from an unhealthy weight of 105 pounds to over double that in less than eight months - I was obese for close to four years, however I've lost the steroid weight over the past year and am 140 pounds (as of my recent doctor visits). There were problems as my body was not assimilating the cortisol, but it seems to have gone into remission for the most part. My good days allow me to fight through the pain, nausea, and occasional vertigo/dizziness to attend events with my friends. A bad day is a day when I'm stuck on my couch all day. The bad days are definitely more far apart now. I had my left hip replaced August 2014.

I've been to TAM4 and TAM8 (a.k.a. The Amaz!ng Meeting). I try to do something with my friends that gives me pleasure whenever possible. I want to do more, but currently outside of my home I need a walker or cane to get around. However I've taken to attending the Cat Club & DNA Lounge & I've volunteered at The Crucible (with my walker) and it's so fun!

I'm very independent, but I admit that took a hit when I got sick. I'm slowly getting my health to a point where I can rock my New Rocks or bare feet. It's fun dressing up.

I love almost every type of food out there, so long as it's lacto-ovo vegetarian. I eat half the calories or carbohydrates a person is supposed to ingest in a 24 hour time period due to my health troubles, but that only means that there's usually leftovers and that I take my time. On one of my "good days" (read "nights") we could go out for dinner and dancing. Or to a really good indie documentary.

I LOVE video games, love to play, love to watch other people playing.

Healing as much as possible in every way. Hopefully whomever wants to become a part of my life will have empathy to spare.

Please do not offer me any "alternative" treatment ideas as in the past eighteen plus years I have tried this, that and the other thing. Ignoring that request is one of my biggest pet peeves and will turn me off faster than telling me that if I had a positive attitude I would get better. <-- The worst is when I've made friends and they forget this request.

Thank you for your concern though. :)
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My smile, tattoos, glasses, eyes, and sense of the absurd.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Books and Kindle

2. Camera(s)

3. iPhone and Laptop(s)

4. Friends

5. Multimedia: to create and to immerse one's self in

6. Love: Given and Received
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Life. Atheism. Asexuality. Reasons to live. Why I love the things or people I do. Philosophy of death and dying. The iTunes University course from Harvard on "Justice" is a great example of things I enjoy thinking about.

How to manage to do things that make me happy while still dealing with my health problems.

How to become a better photographer, a better writer, a better friend, a better person.

My severe weight gain and what it meant to look in the mirror and not recognize my physical self and to, if not know, at least feel that many people judged me based on their assumption that I could control how much I weigh or how I look. To recognize I've lost that steroid weight and started to live my life again, more fully.

The reality that I have complications with Addison's Disease and slow endocrine failure, and problems with the steroids I need to take to live and my serious allergies to Candida which the steroids cause to grow in the body as well as unknown autoimmune troubles stemming from who knows what...

I think about all these things. And much, much more.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I used to say: Reading a book, watching a movie or writing. Unless I'm especially lucky and I can go out and have a nice meal of Ethiopian or North Indian or Fondue, depending.

Now I must add "going out dancing in SF" and hanging out at Wicked Grounds to the list, because that's currently true.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Life is very full of pain and nausea for me. I wish I meant metaphorically, but my multiple illnesses do stress me out.

I self-identify as gender fluid switch, with preference for being nibbled, but an ability to bite, hard.

Also, I'm kinda slowly dying, but not in the stereotypical "we're all dying" way. Endocrine shut down. But I'm not the person dying I was six months ago.

I'm seriously, no joking, a WTMI person.

I love Doctor Who so much I have a DNA Dalek-Human hybrid tattoo on my left arm. I love science so much I have a 20-year-old tattoo of an atomic symbol on my other wrist. I'm stupid enough I have a tattoo designed and gifted that exactly matches the one on my ex-husband. However, at least it's not a "tramp stamp." Plus someday Cthulhu will rise and eat the hell out of it. So to speak.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I'm not interested in hearing from anybody with a less than 75% match or higher than 20% enemy. Just no, thank you.


Should a nerdy, slightly boyish woman strike you as awesome, I might just be for you. If you want to be my friend who I can spend time with doing things such as cuddling as we watch a movie or play a video game or read books.

If you're taller than me, average build, smart, loves media as much if not more than me, computer and or math savant, loves games, but not mind games, capable of looking pretty in the right setting, intercourse is inconsequential so long as everything else fits (and if pleasuring a woman turns you utterly on, that's a plus), if poly wants me as primary and enjoys extended periods of reading together, cooking together, loves watching a movie and then watching it again with the commentary turned on, wants to protect me during my bad sick days, hates fighting and knows when to give space, loves animals and preferably doesn't eat them, has gone through the inevitable reactionary phase and doesn't need to pretend to be cooler-than-thou, loves tattoos and piercings, wants a person they can spoil with affection and surprises to gladden the heart, understands total hysterectomy induced intercourse pain needs workarounds, lives a love-filled life without lies, and so on...

Friends is cool, I'm always open to a new good friend. If you've got a mathematical-musical brain we will definitely get along. I don't myself. I just mostly have friends that do. My ex-husband did. One of the two guys I'm recording music with does.

Brilliance is worth sharing.

I have a fetish for super smart pretty boys and girls - and glasses. If you can model for me for two hours, cook a shared vegetarian meal, play FF9 again or watch "Dark City" or cuddle while reading something from either my or your personal library, sleep a bit only to get up and work with me making music or designing a killer app for maybe a phone or a new game...brilliant, androgynous, creative, a multi-media slut? We will have a great time hanging out. Love Bill Hicks? Tool? H.L. Mencken? Terry Gilliam? Billy Wilder? Stanley Donen? Cocteau Twins? Louise Brooks? Mark Twain? Douglas Adams? All of the above? Then definitely write!