It does. It tells you I overthink. Fair enough.
But that isn't answering the question. Who am I and what am I doing here?
I could tell you my situation and I probably should but that's not who I am, either. I talk too much, and I overcompensate for that. I have a deep-seated defiance toward authority structures, probably from my dad. I grew up being told constantly how very brilliant I was, and life got so much more interesting when I grew up and realized I was surrounded with people who had a lot more to say than I did. I've come to believe that for most practical purposes there is no such thing as intelligence, it's just a code word for bias. Hm. Maybe I should warn you that I'm the sort of person who would trot out that kind of wonky abstraction in an essay like this, instead of listing reasons why you would want to date him.
What else? I come from a close family and we get together as often as we can. My older brother is more interesting than me, and everything cool about my childhood was his doing. My younger sister is also more interesting than me and most of what's intriguing about my adult brain bears her distinct stamp. The most interesting thought I ever had on my own was this: that I believe Robert Frost left a riddle behind, and I think I know where a person needs to begin looking to find the answer. But that takes time and I haven't done it, if it's even possible any more. (I was an English major. Probably a mistake, but I had fun.)
I cut corners almost obsessively, trying to find the most direct route. I love games, particularly games with strategy to them, even though there's no particular game I can claim to be good at. I am a completely incompetent swimmer, but since I'm tall that rarely matters. I have a pretty good memory. I am not a good dancer. I'm not good with languages either, but in both cases I would dearly love to learn.
I think music should have lots of sevenths and ninths, and there should be more thundering pipe organ bits generally. I believe it is very difficult to use too much cumin. Or basil. I think I would live longer and better if I ate less food but I don't know if I have it in me to cut back. I was raised on Ayn Rand. These days I would like to eradicate capitalism. I think choral singing shares some of the qualities of religious experience and canoes are a shortcut to personal bliss.
I honestly think just about every person I meet is really interesting. If you're a woman and we've made eye contact, the odds are pretty good that I've already got a crush on you. Life is distracting but I like it.
I should talk about love and such. But wait, I said I'd explain my situation, which has changed, and it's high time I updated this bit: I got a divorce, and am still working the kinks out of a new lifestyle in my own apartment, with my daughters coming and going. I have a partner, and we do very well together, and she is if anything more voraciously polyamorous than I am. So I'd be very happy to find partners I could go on dating for years, but it might not be be dating all that often, necessarily. Or, shorter things are nice too. There's a place in the world for one-night stands, for that matter. The world is full of all these people, and mostly it's hard to get all that close to them, but let there be a whiff of sexual attraction in the air, and they open up to you in the funniest ways, it's like a fire hose of random but genuine points of connection, all that we call "chemistry." And dating is kind of the only interaction in modern society where it's kind of acceptable to open up that much of yourself that fast, with procedures for escape any time you want, only in the meantime you've had a brush with someone human, and honestly, humans need that. I live for it myself. That for me is the point of poly--if you can say there's a point--just a decision to walk around in the world, available for whatever little miracle it feels like placing in front of you today.
What was the question? Incidentally, I usually write with structure and transitions and such. But that's kind of what I mean: we're just on here to bump into humans, aren't we? With no particular preconceptions about exactly what aspects of them we'll see first. I'm being random, partly to make myself finally write something here, but also just to acknowledge that it's random every time.