Look. I'm not gonna lie to you. We're having a big Christmas do at my house on the twenty-first of December. It'll be my housemate and his girlfriend. It'll be our upstairs neighbours (a couple). It'll be a friend from work and his girlfriend. All I ask is that if I'm forced to accompany a broom with a face painted onto it for the actual meal, (which at this stage looks more than likely,) I'll at least have a girl I can talk to the others about over sprouts. Is that so much to ask, cruel world? Is that so much to ask, OKCupid???
Hey. You. Yeah, you. No...no, not you sorry. You. The other girl.
Yeah, you. That's right. Sorry, could you move out the way? I'm trying to talk to the girl behind you. Ah, yes. There you are. What brings you to this dusty little corner of the world-wide-web? Welcome, whoever you may be. You know the smell of an old book you find at the back of the shelf in Oxfam? That's me all over. You like music? I play guitar and drums and I sing too. You want me to serenade you, yes? I've already written our song. It's called Girl On the Platform, Smile. Oh yes. I WROTE that ancient and irrelevant jingle.. You're impressed. I can feel you reading this and thinking oooooh that's a good song. I'd love some averagely tall red-head to scream that at me over some train tracks. Well, it's on. You got it. Moderate income? Sure, I have that, but I don't like to brag. Own bedroom? Tsch- I got my own bed too. And my own desk. No big deal. And I've traveled, boy have I traveled. Travel again? Well, with the right girl, why not? I lived in Paris for a year. I can ask for two baguettes in French (Je voudrais deux baguettes). That's one for me and one for you. You take a ride on the Dave Train and you get a baguette to yourself. That's the sweetness I'm pedalling. So, what are you waiting for? Let's get this show on the road.
*****TOPLESS PHOTO TAKEN WITH IPHONE IN BATHROOM MIRROR BY SELF TO FOLLOW*****
I sometimes read out things I've written, although I am honestly in no way pretentious... It's more that I like to stand up in front of people.
For 2 years I appeared as one half-of a stand-up double act. We were called G=MC Squared. We had aspirations to perform at Edinburgh's Fringe Festival, but we never got round to it.
I've recently started swing dance lessons.
I play guitar and drums and yell in onehundredpercentboyband.
It's a one man band.
I'm currently recording my debut album and have an EP coming out on a smaaaall label in January. The EP is called: Post-Hummus and I recorded it all by myself (don't wanna be...)
Here it is: https://soundcloud.com/onehundredpercentboyband/sets/demos-for-emma-not-so-long-ago
I'm in a two-piece band called Armageddon in Retrospect. It's my mate Leigh and I instrument-swapping and boy is it loud.
I also play drums, write and "sing" in a skiffle pop geek rock five-piece called Sun Tete Shoe le Card.
I've recently had my second novel published. It's called ACHE and is on Amazon.
I'm writing my third at the moment. It's called SNAPSHOT.
I run a few miles every other day (I have this awesome Zombies, Run app that I'm addicted to. Who doesn't love getting "chased by zombies"!?) and also really enjoy setting off in a random direction just walking around London, taking it all in.
I live in Harringay in an amazing house with a wicked garden.
For the month of October I travelled the length and breadth of Eastern Europe to learn how to play Balkanese folk music and drink myself clean for my thirtieth birthday. Budapest was Buda-best.
I very much like funny girls/talented girls/outgoing girls/geeky girls.
I consider myself a feminist.
The most romantic texts I currently get are from Domino's Pizza. Let's put an end to that together...
If you think we'd get on, do send me a message. Or you could just, like, you know, read the message I send you, check out my profile then completely not message me back. It's your prerogative as Lady of OKCupid Manor.
Thanks for clickin'.