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avenabarbata

27 Oakland, CA Woman

Woman

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 22–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 8:16pm
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 3″ (1.60m)
Body Type
Curvy
Diet
Mostly vegetarian
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Sagittarius, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Working on university
Job
Income
Relationship Status
Married
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Offspring
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English, Ancient Greek (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Queer, radical, poly, kinky, femme-inist, nerdiest of nerds, sub-y, herbalist, bookseller, wanderer, sex-geek, sometime painter, all the time knitter, aspiring homesteader, owner of the world's largest dress-up collection (wigs included), voracious bibliophile & lazy yogi.

I'm a little timid at first, but given a minute, my goofy and overly-enthusiastic self will come out.

I'm head-over-heals for a boy that lives very far away, ever_curious26. We date/play/love with full disclosure to each other, and he's my main squeeze. Though in real life I happily date folks of a variety of genders & orientations, including hetero cis-guys, I'm mostly on this site to meet women & queers of all stripes! (Ladies make me shy- thus, the internet.)

Also, I just don't instant message. It squeebs me out for some unknown reason.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Having just moved back after an extended visit in the northern climes, I'm settling back into the Bay Area; learning how to plant roots while still indulging my ever-present wanderlust; and finding my tribe of nerdy/queer/playful/sex-positive/crafty folk, and work that sustains me/makes me feel like I'm helping create the kind of world I'd like to live in.

Practically this looks like: volunteering at a rad free clinic, mostly doing sex educator-y things; selling antiquarian books on the intewebs, and slinging teas and vitamins at an herb shop; cooking my way through Alice Waters' "The Art of Simple Food"; drawing naked people & modeling for artistic types; climbing trees frequently; reading too, too much, always; making potions; finding dirt to play- I mean garden- in; lurking at coffee shops & community spaces (ahem *mission control*) working up the nerve to talk to lovely strangers; figuring out how a person feels sufficiently prepared to work as an herbal clinician, and watching all of Buffy (again)....
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being easily amused: give me a little music, a sunny spot in a park, a bad movie, pencil and paper, a talkative friend, a place to explore, miscellaneous craft supplies, shiny things or even a stick and I can be entertained for hours. Listening: I'm kind of a sponge for information. The flip side is that I'm very bad at remembering things. There's only so much space in my head. Cuddling and absentmindedly petting people as if they were felines. Laughing at myself, which is necessary because I fall down. A lot. Laughing at other people's jokes, especially bad puns. Appreciating and partaking in all that is absurd/sarcastic/silly and/or snarky, while somehow managing to consistently appear entirely earnest and sincere. Reading excessively fast: the library keeps me well stocked for my novel a day habit. Cooking: ask me about my onion tart- you know you want to.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The dresses? I have lots of them, in a variety of floral, old lady couch fabrics. My smile? I've been told it's like the Gerber baby's. I like to think that's a compliment, something about my enthusiasm for life . Recently, the crooked hair, that my sweetie swears I got solely for the purpose of appearing more gay, in order to attract more hot Oakland ladies. (Um, that's not the only reason...)
Also, often, the giant purse full of books. I may lean slightly to one side due to the weight, but I am never bored.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Octavia Butler, Charles de Lint,Tom Robbins, Kurt Vonnegut, Inga Muscio, Derrick Jensen (pre trans-phobic awfulness), Rebecca Solnit, Michelle Tea, Julie Serrano, Jim Butcher, a slew of sexuality/queer theory/gender books, radical histories/politics, herbal medicine tomes, all of the distopian novels. In general, way too many to list, and damn near enough to found a fairly decent public library (the result of years of bookstore employment, staff discounts and poor impulse control).

Movies: Any and all cheesy zombie/horror (Slither, Tucker and Dale, any and all Bruce Campbell, that one where Ron Jeremy's penis came to life and started killing people), dark comedies, and old school Katherine Hepburn/Spencer Tracy rom-coms (such delicious banter!). The Fantastic Mr Fox. And of course, Harold and Maude.

Music: Be Good Tanyas, Gillian Welch, Devendra Banhart, Kimya Dawson, Noah and the Whale, M. Ward, Lykke Li, The Blow, Jaymay, Vetiver, Joanna Newsom, Florence and the Machine, Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros, My Brightest Diamond, Fleet Foxes...

Podcasts: Savage Love, Fresh Air, Biodynamics Now, Madness Radio, Radiolab, This American Life, The Herbal Highway

TV: Any and all things Whedon-esque especially Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Firefly, Star Trek (original series and TNG), Arrested Development, Archer, Six Feet Under....

Food: Anything that comes from a truck! Really, really spicy things! In general: good meat stuffs (have recently re-discovered this after many meatless years), abundant veggies, crusty homemade bread. Also, Indian, Thai, sushi... I just really like food, ok?
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Erm.... Life would be rather unpleasant without:

Playfulness
Physicality (touch, motion, cuddling, sex...)
Books/Learning
Conversation, of both the deep and silly varieties
Large, accessible bodies of water
Spicy food

And glitter.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Intentional communities and why I loved living in one but felt like something was missing, gender, whether I should go back to school for skills/a nursing degree or hold out and be a slightly cursty anarcho-herbalist healer type, are people going to look at me funny if I wear all my petticoats out in public and do I care, the intersection of healthcare and social justice, kink, who can I convince to come with me to this roller disco/80's dance parting/bawdy storytelling/zine making/kinky play party/drunk bingo, reproductive rights, DIY health, institutionalized systems of oppression and how to be a decent white/cis person beyond becoming aware of my privilege, enthusiastic consent, vintage lingerie and whether or not I can sew a reasonable substitute for a bullet bra, trauma on the individual level and the societal, what song my burlesque act will feature when I'm someday brave enough to get on stage, NVC, my dream home (an old Victorian filled with different generations of folk living collectively, growing food, raising chickens, playing music, healing each other, making art, laughing and dancing and kissing into the wee hours), how I should spend more time doing cool things than reading about them....
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Nesting and reading (ideally with other folks nesting and reading nearby); or going to an Alice in Wonderland themed rock opera and circus with my awesome new housemates; spending way too many hours cooking something delightful which will be consumed way too quickly; getting sweaty at a queer dance party; at the movies; playing pool poorly at a pub (alliteration!); at a play party; jumping in the station wagon for a spontaneous hot springs/camping trip....
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I'm shy... which means I have a tendency to get mini-crushes on awesome/cute/intriguing people's profiles, and then never work up the nerve to message them.

Yeah, I'm that special.

In person, I'm generally the opposite of private. I'm a big fan of lay-it-all-on-the-table type friendships, where you can talk about anything from your kinkiest kink to your particular brand of crazy and where it came from. Sometimes this makes for inappropriate meal time or public conversations, apparently.

I've also been told on multiple occasions that I'm A) a gay man in a girl's body, and B) an eight year old. Take from that what you will.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to! And you don't mind an occasional wait between replies: I check my account semi-frequently, but because I'm weirdly picky about things I write, I only reply when I've got the time to ponder how I can best express the random things that are floating around my head. Embarrassingly, this means I spent time on that very simple, "Hi, how are you?" email I wrote you.

Bonus points if:
-You want to watch Star Trek with me (OS or TNG).
-You play board games, like, all of the time.
-You have a tribe of weird/nerdy/funny/loving queers and you want to introduce me. Pretty please:)
-You don't get bored in thriftstores.
-You enjoy playing dress up, own feathers, glitter, wigs, vintage clothes or some sort of costume, and like to find occasions other than Halloween to indulge.
-You giggle a lot, or take pride in making others do so.
-You read a lot. Extra bonus points if its on women's/gender studies, queer theory, sexuality, or anarchism. Or if you can quote Jim Butcher.
-You've got nifty homestead or diy skills you want to show off.
-You have something that you're completely, absurdly passionate about (what it is doesn't matter so, so much). People who can truly nerd out make me happy.
-You're involved in social justice-y stuff, and want to share what you're up to.
-You want to be my partner in crime at Kinky Salon or kink event. Extra, extra points if you're a lady top with rope skills.
-You like a good movie night. You like it even more if it involves a cuddle pile.
-You want to take me dumpster diving.
-You like to express yourself verbally, and try to communicate authentically, even when its hard. Random bursts of verbal affection are also a plus:)
-You have zines to trade.

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