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sophovore

28 Boston, MA Woman

Woman

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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 28–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Aug 31
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly vegetarian
Smokes
No
Drinks
Not at all
Drugs
Never
Religion
Buddhism, and somewhat serious about it
Sign
Aries, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from masters program
Job
Education
Income
Rather not say
Status
Open relationship
Type
Non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I moved to Boston almost ten years ago for grad school, and I still think that snow is otherworldly. I'm a nerdy and bookish person who works with people all day, and nobody finds this paradoxical if all I tell them is my job title. I like it--it lets me be a little bit of a performer and a little bit of a counselor while being paid to listen and talk about cool ideas.

I feel at home in spaces of introspection, creativity, and inquisitiveness. I don't love adversarial debates, but nothing makes me more excited (well, almost nothing) than a far-reaching and deep-diving conversation. On just about any topic, including (sometimes especially!) topics I had minimal interest in before the conversation began. Tell me about your passions and dreams and what you hold dear! Although I'm on the serious end of the spectrum of silliness, that doesn't mean it's all serious all the time. Farce can make me laugh reliably, and among other kinds of performance, I've played at doing improv and stand-up comedy. And board games are awesome.

Spirituality, mental health, aesthetic experience, and justice are very important to me, and they aren't separable for me. I think a lot about privilege and fairness and myths and intersections, and I try to not only think and interrogate but also choose and do. I love beautiful things and compelling ideas, and I especially love enjoying them together as forms of art, music, theater, etc.

Thinking of gender and orientation as binaries doesn't make much sense to me. I guess a spectrum works, but I see it as a different shape, more three-dimensional. I do like the Genderbread Person, though. http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Genderbread-2.1.jpg Regardless of the shape you use to think about gender and orientation, it's often quite appealing to me when a person exhibits both masculine and feminine traits.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I arrived at a certain ivy-covered institution in Cambridge in 2004, was completely baffled, and after a couple of years, somehow managed to earn a master's degree and get an opportunity to teach at the same place. Then, after three years of facilitating scintillating conversations in discussion classes filled with brilliant, elite-or-soon-to-be-elite people in courses on things like rhetoric and medieval English law and the intersections of music and political theory, with mounting pressure to do research and ignore that teaching stuff, it occurred to me that, despite the scintillating conversations, I might not be in the right place for me.

Now, I'm a community college professor. I went to a community college myself, and my work is deeply meaningful to me for that reason and other reasons. I teach subjects including philosophy, religious studies, history, ethical hacking, and assorted other things. I don't understand how to work and think and teach in only one discipline at a time. Big questions require resources from philosophy and history and literature and music and film and new media and the sciences and just about everywhere. I'm lucky enough to have found a professional role where this interdisciplinarity/short attention span is reckoned an asset-I get to teach something new almost every semester. I will gladly tell you what my current favorite teaching challenge is. Many of my students are marginalized in at least one way, and it matters--a lot--that I'm doing something that attempts to heal some of the inequality in our world.

Although I am no longer moving toward earning a PhD, I continue to have a variety of inquisitive interests, mostly centering on the brilliant and deeply held ideas of marginalized people.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
-Asking questions

-Linguistic promiscuity (Which means learning approximately 25 words of a new language and then getting distracted--Здравствуйте! কেমন আছেন Ja sam dobro. Jag är ledsen. Cam on. Ki lè li ye? Toban saac.) I'm in a blossoming primary relationship with French at the moment, but I still have time for flirting with others. Which is actually not a bad metaphor for my approach to loving. Non-monogamy is working well for me right now: I have a principal relationship with someone very special to me, and I have some time and energy for enjoying and exploring others.

-Explaining big ideas in accessible ways without simplifying

-Listening

-Looking up pop culture references I don't understand on Wikipedia (I didn't go to high school, so my trove of cultural references is weird.)

-Coming up with explanatory analogies that nearly fit the thing I'm trying to talk about.

-Learning a new game by playing along without reading instructions.

-Quoting poetry and plays rather than thinking of "original" things to say. This is true of informal communication, but it's also true of more intentional things--when I play with making "original" art, it's often intentionally derivative/referential.

-Paying attention to what's in front of me.

-Being rigorously, compassionately honest
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
How would I reliably know the answer to this question? Even if I based my answer on what people *say* they notice about me, how would I evaluate the veracity of their claims?

(Why yes, I do do some work on epistemology, how did you know?)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Music: Recent beloved iTunes and Spotify selections include Stephin Merritt, Nicolas Jaar, Elliott Smith, Charles Ives, Luke Parkin (Love "Things I Didn't Know I Loved"), Gotan Project, Osunlade, Iron and Wine, Jacques Brel, The XX, Fionn Regan, Fela Kuti, Bright Eyes, Stephen Sondheim, Fiona Apple, Right Away Great Captain, Joni Mitchell, Anais Mitchell, Tierney Sutton, Bonobo, Jason Robert Brown, Gian Carlo Menotti, Steve Reich, Digable Planets. Andreas Scholl's voice is transcendent, whether it's in folk song or Rodelinda--I'll listen to anything he's singing. Earlier this year I was listening to Kendrick Lamar's To Pimp A Butterfly on repeat, which, for reasons I do not understand, was immediately followed by a troubadour/trobairitz binge.

In music, I like either interesting sounds or beautiful stories, or, better yet, both.

Food: mushrooms, cheese, arugula, beets, good tomatoes, bok choy, baklava, mahmoul, almost anything with lemon or ginger, barely-cooked eggs, vinegar and other sour things, shortbread, pretzels, muesli, licorice, lychee, burnt sugar candy, oranges, miso, popcorn, fresh warm yeasty bread, bagels...the list goes on.

Foods I cheat on my vegetarianism for: prosciutto, pho, lox, soup dumplings.

Books: Books are and have been so central to my life, it's hard to choose favorites--there are so many. Instead I will tell you recent books, not favorite books. Lately, I've been reading and loving Amitav Ghosh's Sea of Poppies, Anne Carson's Antigonick, Nicholas Wolferstorff's Lament for a Son, Victor Rios' Punished: Policing the Lives of Black and Latino Boys, the collection xoOrpheus, and also reading (and also loving) the Harry Potter series for the first time. Latest downloads (I kindle, because having a large library on my phone is more important--usually--than the sensual pleasure of turning pages) are Roberto Bolaño's The Savage Detectives and Marie Vieux-Chauvet's Love, Anger, Madness trilogy. I've really been getting into popular treatments of scientific concepts, especially ideas that straddle science and philosophy--Alan Lightman, David Eagleman. (Hint: if you do science/math and can explain the ideas you play with to me, we will have fun. Or at least I will.) Even though I mostly read ebooks now, I still adore bookstores. I feel such a sense of happiness and possibility when I go into a good bookstore. I was recently in Paris, working, and I visited Shakespeare and Company, and I am possibly still high from that experience.

Shows: Does this mean theater or TV? I think it means TV, judging from what I've seen on others' profiles, but I love theater and I'll gladly tell you my favorites if you ask. I sort of go in spurts with TV--I don't watch any for months, and then suddenly I'm interested again. What I'm enjoying currently: Game of Thrones (read the first four books before the TV series existed), Downton Abbey, Scandal, Homeland, United States of Tara. What I will rewatch: Six Feet Under, Frasier, Twin Peaks.

Movies: I "discovered" film (like Columbus discovered America?) almost four years ago and I'm hooked. The most memorable films I've seen recently were Amour, Holy Motors, Samsara, and Au Revoir Les Enfants. Also, Mean Girls. Also, Waiting for Guffman. At this writing I'm partway through I Am Curious, and trying to savor and properly attend to it.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
curiosity
friends
touch
stories
strangers
quiet
laughter
Eight.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Not thinking.

(Edited: this is a reference to meditation.)
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
THAT I AM.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I don't know how to ride a bike.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you care about something and work on it and take pride in it and flap your hands when you talk about it.

you're highly social, a strong Myers-Briggs E (extrovert)--I enjoy taking on a listener role in groups, and I find that I do really well with partners and friends who take on the talker role. (INTP, by the way.)

you want to play games. (I think this is the part where I try to make a joke about "game-players" in online dating and the fact that I like to play actual games--Avalon, Anomia, others that don't start with A.)

you want someone to read aloud with. Poetry, plays, whatever. I read aloud and memorize poetry and other things for fun. Usually in English.

Fixing the world matters to you. Doesn't have to mean that you identify as lefty or progressive--fine if you do though--but being in tune to ideas of injustice and privilege and intersectionality and marginalization is helpful.

You cringe at the mixing of Greek- and Latin- derived word parts in my username but like the idea anyway.

you love stories.

**In case you missed it above in the bit about languages, I'm in a non-monogamous place right now. For me, this means I am sharing knowledge, joy, and intimacy with more than one person, and interested in continuing to do that. I am in a relationship of the sort that people often call "primary"--we love each other, we don't live together, and we give each other a certain pride of place in one another's lives, with love or commitment being a net force for greater openness, not greater constraint. Although I'm interested in a wide variety of people and a wide variety of affectionate intimate relationship structures and ways of being, I'm too enthusiastic to do "chill," detached, ultra-casual dating--even when I'm enjoying a really ephemeral connection, I want to enjoy it and express it to the fullest in the moment.**