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51 Mantova, Italy Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–100
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Online now!
Straight, Sapiosexual
5′ 9″ (1.76m)
Body type
Mostly anything
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from masters program
Mostly monogamous
Has kids
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Italian (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly), Latin (Poorly), Other (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Even if you don't like me that much, take my Italy Knowledge Test!

My OkC username is Duefiori. I'm not going to activate A-list ever. So, in the remote case you Quickmatchers like me, message me or we'll never know how it ended.

I used to have 3000+ questions answered, but I recently realized that many of my answers were outdated. Now I'm slowly reanswering all of them.

This profile is long, bordering on verbose. If this bugs you, take it as a pre-selection and kindly move on.


These are my main specs:
- Italian, 1963
- married (with doublematch)
- father of two (boy, 2010, girl, 2011)
- quite overweight
- high school math teacher.

There's more, of course:
- a quite intelligent and nice guy (as I'm usually told)
- a bit of a geek
- a happy fellow
- young-minded enough to accept almost anything, old minded enough not to need to do it myself.

I'm reasonably well-traveled, with a handful of good friends from a number of continents.

OkC politics test says I'm a Socialist, which is probably true, even if I deeply distrust political, sexual and (god forbid) "lifestyle" codewords.

Se volete comunicare in Italiano, fate pure. Ma in Inglese ho più DVD carini da consigliarvi. Tra l'altro, ho scoperto che sto diventando decisamente bilingue, quindi se NON parlate Inglese le cose di cui possiamo parlare si riducono di parecchio.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Things are sort of ok. I have a cosy place to live (go Ikea!) with tons of books and DVDs and boardgames (see below); a family of my own, complete of wife, kids and a Schrödinger number* of awesome cats.

The Main Event are my kids; they occupy 95% of what time I don't spend sleeping or working. So, yes: I'm officially Old Generation, and I love it. Further reproduction has been called off-the-table, given the lack of space, hands and money, in that order.

Teaching is my job, and the job I always wanted to have; it defines a big part of what I "am", rather than what I "do". I believe that children are the future etc etc.

On the other hand, it's not the most profitable of jobs. So, money comes and goes, and our bank account is in dire need of some intensive nurturing, since I'm currently the only provider, because of crisis blah blah.

A lot of the money that we used to spend in traveling is currently spent in just living, so we are limiting ourselves to small-time trips or hosting e-friends from around the world.
- so far, we hit Holland, England and Egypt
- favors to cash in: Argentina, Bahrain, the Philippines
- projects: Iceland, Malta, New Zealand, northeast US.
Our dream vacation is US West Coast: I've been there already on my own, I really want to bring my family there, and that will need a LOT of savings.

Some time ago I would have liked to get a second degree in Cognitive Sciences, but it went way back in priorities. Meantime my wife is trying her first one in IT. We will probably end up waiting for the kids to get theirs. Who knows.

*Meaning, their number varies randomly from zero to three, and I don't know until I look. You know, cats. At this time it's 'probably' one.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
- writing and reading in English (with a heavy Italian accent, tho).
- Terry Pratchett's Discworld trivia and quotes
- math, teaching, teaching math
- leading a humdrum day-to-day life
- reading, fast and a lot
- humoring and pampering and cuddling people
- catching silly stuff that people says*
- meeting celebrities (for complicated reasons)
- forgiving (but much less good in forgetting).
- handling kids and pets
- Googling
- logical and verbal skills
- gift-making on any budget
- patience
- sexual imagination, from vanilla to outright BDSM
- trivia, about pretty much anything**
- bridge, boardgames and RPGs
- explaining and teaching stuff, at any level of understanding.

I hope like hell that I'll be good at parenting; it looks like I'm doing fine so far. Fingers crossed.

*I collected 20 years of silly one-liners from my students, and a book will come out. Yes, really. Well, If the bloody publisher decides to honor the contract

**I have proof of that: in 2003 I won 35.000 € on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. Really. And yes, I spent them all already. Manifold.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
In time, I learned that I'm not great at first impressions. Usually what comes through is my shape, looks and scruffy exterior, I guess. Or the fact that I talk too much. On the other hand, if you don't go past that, it's unlikely we'll fit anyway.

If you DO go past that, the *second* thing they you'll notice is that, no bragging, I really am one of the smartest and nicest guys around. Try me.

The third layer (if anyone gets to it) is the 4-yr-old toddler inside, for good or bad. Very few rose to the challenge, and only one is still managing.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
DISCLAIMER. We live in 70mq (or about 700 sqf) and we own (conservative estimate) about:
- five bookshelves (thank you, Ivar)
- 1,400 books
- 900 DVD titles (not counting multiple-disc stuff)
- 50 boardgames (either silly party games or high-end strategy)
- 10 different RPGs rulesets (including Toon)
- countless (really) kids' toys.
So, this part will be LONG. Be warned. Be very warned.

I have read lots, let's see...
- As a kid, Gianni Rodari, Jules Verne, Sid Fleischmann and books about ants.
- As a teen, Isaac Asimov, Richard Bach, JRR Tolkien and books about logic puzzles.
- In my university years Italo Calvino, Jorge Luis Borges, Hermann Hesse and books about zen philosophy.
- After university Terry Pratchett, Daniel Pennac and books about pedagogy and education.
- Nowadays: truth be told, I don't read much these days, mostly re-re-read; kids and stuff, you know. But I'm still fascinated by books about how body, mind and society work with each other, like Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters.

Honorable Mention goes to:
- Douglas Adams: the Hitchhiker's Guide penta-trilogy
- Isaac Asimov: the Foundation trilogy
- RIchard Bach: Seagull Jonathan Livingston, and Illusions
- Italo Calvino: Invisible CIties
- Ernest Cline: Ready Player One (a must for any 80s geek)
- Umberto Eco: the Name of the Rose (and the movie wasn't bad)
- Michael Ende: The Neverending Story (2-colors edition!)
- Neil Gaiman: Neverhwere (and Good Omens, but in my bookcase that's with the Pratchetts)
- Douglas R. Hofstadter: Godel Escher Bach
- Roy Lewis: the Evolution Man (little known, but hilarious)
- Daniel Pennac: the Malaussene cycle
- Robert Pirsig: Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
- Rick Riordan: the Percy Jackson / Kane Brothers series
- JK Rowling: the Harry Potter cycle
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery: le Petit Prince
- Orson Scott Card: the Ender/Bean series
- JRR Tolkien: the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings

I am a Terry Pratchett's orphan. RIP, Sir pTerry, and have fun with Douglas Adams and Graham Chapman.

Brag time:
1) I had dinner once with Douglas Hofstadter and Umberto Eco (the same dinner).
2) I met Neil Gaiman, and drove him around for one day.
For real. Details on request.

I have a full bookshelf with the complete collections of Asterix, Calvin & Hobbes, Lucky Luke, Mafalda, Tintin.
I like most Disney, most Marvel/DC (when they weren't yet a soap-opera), absolutely NOT Japanese stuff, sorry. Wrong generation for that.

My two favorites are Order of the Stick and xkcd, and they also get a small bit of my money on a regular basis. I regularly read Darths and Droids (and loved DM of the Rings), Girls with Slingshots, Questionable Content, Sinfest, The Joys of Tech, WuMo. Oh, and recently Oglaf (NSFW but funny).

Too many to tell. A very-shortlist:
- All That Jazz, which has long been my absolute favorite
- my most recent favorite is The Congress (if you don't like either of them, chances for us to be friends lower a bit)
- most of Tim Burton
- Back to the Future and Indiana Jones franchises
- most of Mel Brooks' and Woody Allen's oldies
- Baz Luhrman old trilogy: Ballroom, Romeo+Juliet, Moulin Rouge
- good musicals: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, The Sound of Music, Jesus Christ Superstar, A Chorus Line, Hairspray, Rent
- The Blues Brothers, of course
- The Rocky Horror Picture Show, of course
- most cult movies from the 80s (but they forgot Big Trouble in Little China)
- some selected world-famous Italian movies: Mediterraneo, The Postman, Cinema Paradiso, Life is Beautiful; see below for less world famous
- Disney Classics (most of them, not all)
- any Pixar movie of your choice
- other CGI cartoons: Shrek, Kung Fu Panda, How To Train Your Dragon, Cloudy With a Chance of Meatball are all great franchises; Ice Age and Madagascar are, frankly, not
- The Lion King (the movie and the stage play)
- The Producers (BOTH movies and the stage play)
- The Lord of the Rings (that still only counts as one!)
- concerning The Hobbit... well, go check The Tolkien Edit
- most Marvel Comics movies, and awaiting for a total reunion of the legal rights
- not most DC Comics movies, apart from the recent Batman trilogy, which rocks
- Star Wars (old trilogy only - or maybe The Machete Order)
- The Matrix (too bad they never made any sequels)

If you notice a trend, yes, I go for reality-escapist genres, a lot. I'm very well aware of what's bad in the world. I don't need to spend money and time in watching it on purpose, thank you.

We are responsible downloaders: we test and, if we like, we buy. But our backlog of downloaded unseen movies has reached critical status.

I go to live theater shows too little to my taste (mostly because of children, rather than money). When I go, I like:
- live performances: I remember an awesome exhibition of Japanese acrobatic cooks
- stand-up comedians: sadly, not many seen on stage, but I have plenty of recordings by Russell Peters, James CK, Robin Williams and all the great people from the 70s and 80s
- live musicals: I loved the live versions of Jesus Christ Superstar, The Rocky Horror Show, The Lion King, The Producers

As a general rule, I hate Italian TV (but not as much as I hate the guy who owns it). Luckily I have friends, cable and internet, and I watch, buy or download a lot of stuff from the UK and US:
- Agents of SHIELD
- Blackadder
- Crank Yankers
- The Hitchhiker Guide to the Galaxy (UK TV series)
- Monty Python's Flying Circus
- Mythbusters
- Top Gear
- Ninja Warriors (go Makoto Nagano!)
- QI (a must for any trivia lover)
- Saturday Night Live
- The Big Bang Theory (I basically am Leonard)
- The Newsroom
- Whose Line is it Anyway* (both UK and US versions).

I love documentaries of all sorts; history and astronomy and nature are favorite. Also, if you consider it TV, any TED Talks.

On the contrary, I HATE wannabe documentaries, the likes of "Hey, look what I can eat" or "Hey, look what I can sell" or "Hey, look, a car". Sadly, this is two-thirds of Discovery, NatGeo or History Channel at this time.

I can tolerate competitive reality shows if they actually can make, cook or sew actual stuff. Our absolute favorite is Junior Masterchef Australia (Australia, yes; I can explain, if asked).

For parental reasons I'm currently quite stuck on junior channels: Handy Manny, Curious George, Jack and the Pirates, Peppa Pig, Dora the Explorer, you know the drill. Some of them are not actually bad, considering.

See above in "Movies" about our backlog of yet-unseen stuff.

* I consider Colin Mochrie one of the funniest men alive. I would have had his babies. On the other hand, I also adore Russell Peters but I'd never marry him.

Weak spot, I'm really not that deep into music per se. In spite of the efforts of good friends to keep me up-to-date, my excitement for music has somewhat expired in my late twenties. Recently I reorganized my iTunes and realized it was well over the ten thousand pieces, but mostly I want a playlist to play as a random background, or "driving soundtrack" as I call it. I tend to go for classic rock, oldies, hummable pop stuff, "weird chicks with hot voices" (Tori Amos, Sinead O'Connor, Alanis, Regina Spektor, you get the idea), some interesting ethnic or classical or plain weird.

Half of my list is Italian songs from the 60s, 70s and 80s (and some from the 30s-to-50s too): if you are Italian you know what I mean, if you aren't you don't and likely won't get it.

E) FOOD. Yes, please.
Cooking, picking, buying, eating and sharing food is a true sociable and private joy. Any situation or person or country where food is just fuel, is just not me. Please, if I'll visit you, DON'T bring me to Italian places: I want to eat YOUR stuff. Side note: I tend not to drink much alcohol, and I'm insanely fond of water (gas, please).


Amici Miei, Don Camillo, quasi tutto Nichetti (specialmente Stefano Quantestorie), Radiofreccia.
Confesso "Tutti gli uomini del deficiente", e sì, è un film cretino

Mi piaceva molto Stefano Benni (la produzione recente molto meno). Don Camillo di Guareschi. Cent'Anni di Roncofritto di Paolo Cevoli (provatelo!)

Altai&Johnson, Lupo Alberto, Sturmtruppen, Nick Carter, Cattivik e altri Italiani "d'epoca". E un sacco di Jacovitti e di Cavazzano.

Trovo che, a proposito di musica italiana anni 70, uno dei migliori dischi di sempre sia il concerto-tributo Faber: ci sono tutti i miei favoriti di sempre (tranne forse Dalla e Guccini) e il concerto è proprio molto bello.
E poi Enzo Jannacci e Bruno Lauzi.

A parte le cose citate sopra, mi piace molto il teatro satirico/cabaret italiano. Ho in particolare una venerazione assoluta per Lella Costa, il teatro di Giorgio Gaber, e soprattutto Marco Paolini (con o senza i Mercanti di Liquore). Piacere nascosto: Aggiungi Un Posto A Tavola.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
On my own.
- Entertaining and/or informative media (reading, movies etc)
- Trading knowledge, intelligence and small bits of cuteness
- Some boredom-filler pastime (e-chat, games, hang-outs)
- Young girls aged 2 to 96
- Activities related to good food
- Humo(u)r of all sorts.

(I just realized that I listed comics, chitchat, timewasters, chicks, food and laughter. I'm way less "bro" than that. Also, I didn't put "love" in the need-be: that's because my current sentimental life is awesomely happy, both sideways and downwards. I'll reconsider that should the need arise)

In a relationship. Fairness, trust, a small separate space, "anything goes" sex, mutual parenting if needed; number six is, sharing most of the "on my own" items above.

Things of this world (OR) things I could do without, but I feel A LOT better for having. A bottle of gas water in the fridge. My yearly participation to Festivaletteratura. Internet chat. Occasional selected porn (who doesn't). Air conditioners. And I'd want my best friend back, but.

Six things I can bloody well do without:
- a smartphone: I own a dumbphone and an iPad, and I'm quite proud of that;
- pointless drama, both in real life and in social media;
- fashion (saving grace for Tim Gunn);
- mainstream TV ("Did you notice how Big Brother sucks this year?" "No.");
- worldwide gossip
- chain-mail bullshit and conspiracies.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I'm cursed with an hyperintelligent and hyperactive brain, so I think a lot. When you grow up, this is not always a good thing: most of the time you feel alone as shit.

I used to hold some grudges about how people pick each other, and how nice guys always have a losing edge against handsome morons. But, lo and behold, the princess claimed the toad.

Someone said, in a past life, that I'm not that bad for someone my age. That kept me going for a long time. Then stuff happened, and now all I'm left with are two Muppets quotes:

Is there more I could have said?
Now it's only pictures in my head.

And yes some dreams come true
And yes some dreams fall through
And now the time has come for us to say goodbye
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Currently, sleeping and dealing with the kids occupies the best part of ALL our nights. Before that, we used to sleep any old how, so we tended not to have a special schedule for weekends. Activities have, in time, included: a bridge playing night; snuggling while watching stuff; spending too much time on the computer with faraway friends; having dinner/movie out, on our own or with people. Or, well, sex (but see above about the current lack thereof). Finally, I am a selective procrastinator, so I could be up until (or starting from!) 4am grading school papers.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
There's a quite long list of well-settled flaws of mine. Point is, I learned to live with most, and I actually like a few of them...

I tend to be a bit sloppy about self-grooming. Sorry.

I have an EXTREME intolerance to frustration. It's a feeling I seriously can't handle, be it against lack of will to communicate, tardiness, being promised stuff I don't get, frequent lying, you name it. I literally explode. I also have a serious open nerve against inconsistency and incoherence. If it's a rule, respect it yourself FIRST. If you don't, don't claim it is a rule. The same applies to lies, or half-truths.

Here's a big one: I believe in normal, and in anomalies, in the strict mathematical, non-judgmental sense. They define each other, and they need each other. Without the normal, the anomalous is just pointless randomness. Without the anomaly, the normal will wither and die. A big no-no, for me, is closed-mindedness, from either side of this philosophical duality. I constantly need to challenge both. Seems like a no-brainer, yet I had to pay a horrible price for that.

The bad stuff: my sugars got out of control, so I'm officially diabetic (type B). Time to take it seriously, there are two funny round faces here asking "What about me?". Also, it has other consequences involving my life, but that could go as TMI.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you read so far, go you! Yes, I want you to message me.

I really, really like to meet people, on and off line; so, go ahead. I like to have someone entertaining to chat with, female, for preference, but not strictly. A possible common interest could be trading vacations (we love that). For other options, we'll see.

As a couple, we would like to consider ourselves poly or at least mono-flexible. But, seriously, who has the time? Our sex life is currently severely crippled by ultra-minors. But I'm happy this way, for now. You may keep trying, tho.

Avoid messaging me if:
- you are seriously into religion and can't stand that I'm not. I'm a live-and-let-live atheist, I respect the need for an imaginary friend, but (sorry if I'm blunt) I consider it exactly as such;
- you are a beautiful East-european, Southeast-asian, Caribbean or African girl and want to marry me. Nothing against any of these ethnicities, mind you. But, apart from the fact that I'm seriously taken, you will have to apply for your visa like everyone else;
- no, I don't want your hidden bank account treasury either. Try someone else, and best of luck to you.