When I was 20 I had a sudden and incredibly powerful awakening experience that was not drug induced and came unexpectedly under the most normal of circumstances. When I regained normal consciousness, everything in my world was new. I had all my memories and I knew how to do things mechanically speaking, but yet everything I did was as if it were my first time. I had to relearn everything, from walking to talking to love making. Of course, thankfully I was rather inexperienced with that at the time, but even touching was new. And everything was incredibly powerful and significant. I would spend hours sitting and looking at a flower as if I'd never seen it before and in truth, what I was seeing and experiencing from the world WAS new. I was seeing and feeling and knowing the interconnection of everything. I saw that I was just another part of that. My ego was shattered and it was both blissfully awe inspiring and horrifying all at once. I began missing class to walk around barefoot in nature. I fell away from friends and family because they expected me to be someone that I no longer was and despite my foolish struggles, could no longer be. I became aware of senses that I'd thought were just fantasy and suddenly all the philosophies and religions and theories in the world made perfect sense and all seemed to be saying the same thing. I left school and began learning. I visited monasteries and taught myself to meditate and eventually to attain subtler and more profound states of mind and emptiness of mind. I walked thousands of miles barefooted around the Mediterranean and N. Africa in search of understanding and clarity. I ordained as a Buddhist monk for a while.
I've had 35 jobs and lived in many places and had multiple love experiences. I find living lowly and close to the earth in humility is best, while not denying myself any basic comforts, cleanliness or opportunities to continue learning and refining and progressing down this indefinable path toward this indefinable goal. I practice health, which I find is a middle route. I smoke a cigarette sometimes or some pot but always moderately and mindfully. Everything in the universe can be either a medicine or a poison depending on how its used and in what quantity.
So I continue on... I seek to meet a person who is not fixed or rigid in their ways. I seek one who wishes to extinguish their ego. I seek one who is ready and willing to collaborate on an improvised way of life that could be anything anywhere so long as it's virtuous and mutually complimentary.
I recognize that all things in the universe are impermanent. I understand that molecules come together and move apart. I wish to avoid clinging at all costs. It is a practice. I do not wish to fight a lasting nor a fleeting longevity in relationships but to exist in harmony with what is best.
I seek enlightenment and the discovery of what that means.