05/01/2010 - Time for an overhaul

Blah blah blah. Look it's a profile.

I am me. I am not you. I am not your dog. I am not a mollusk. I am not Optimus Prime, nor am I a Stegosaurus.

I originally joined OKCupid to make silly quizzes about things like haunted houses and spooky monsters that would make friends and complete strangers laugh. So far, that has worked pretty darn well. I'm a pretty outgoing and happy person that feels like is too short for self pity or moping about. Some people might call me silly, but I prefer to thinking of it as just loving life...which is a bit of an contradiction considering the monochromatic wardrobe and long hair that makes me look like I belong at a Sisters of Mercy concert.

I have two bunny rabbits which tend to be unusual house pets. Both were abandonded or injured animals that I found when I lived in Minneapolis for a while and I absolutely adore them.

I am optimistic, productive, and energetic

1. I work for Pokemon. People tend to think my job is the coolest in the world and I can't disagree. I love what I do and knowing that I make tons of kids (or those young at heart) happy. I also like that this means I can interact with the kids and then hand them back to their parents without having to deal with the temper tantrums or saving for their college education. I will say that having to work in video games has definitely made them something I rarely do in my free time, unlike a lot of my friends who have left video game widows in their wake and don't understand why I wouldn't want to play games when I just spent 20-40 hours that week doing that as WORK.

2. I also devote a lot of my time and energy to helping with the homeless population in the DC Metro area. I'm a firm believer that a little bit of kindness and respect goes along way and those that have hit rock bottom need it the most.

3. I have what is considered the finest grade of human hair and because I still have a full head of it at 32 while every other male relative on either side of my family has gone bald by 26 for countless generations, I grow it out and donate it to the charity Locks of Love, which then makes it into wigs for little kids with cancer. Plus it's looks good on me and I can taunt my family and Gregor Mendel at the same time.

4. I'm a professional author and lucky (skilled?) enough to have made a decent living at it Most of my published pieces are about folklore and cultural anthropology. Dull sounding perhaps, but it's a lot of fun.

5. For about six years I've also become a consultant/writer for the video game industry. Although the 15-18 year old me would have loved this, the 30 year old me spends far less time playing video games in my free time than the rest of the guys I know. It's become work, you know? I'd much rather take in a play or go for a hike then spend hours playing a video game. I guess this is proof that tastes change as we get older? I can't deny they are fun, but the likelihood of me ever producing a video gaming widow is next to none.

As you can probably tell I work too much. This is mainly because most of my friends here in DC are sticks in the mud that primarily just watch TV. I'm a little too hyper and outgoing for that and my main reason for being on here is to find new friends (emphasis on friends) to have fun with and go to wacky activities with.

I like to cook, primarily in the French and Japanese styles. Cooking is my big stress reliever and I love it. I blame Iron Chef during my college years. I hate Bobby Flay.

I'd like to think writing is something I'm good at considering I've been doing it for so long and it allows me to eat and have money for clothing. Yay for not being a hobo!

Running, hiking, jogging. I like being outside and doing outdoorsy things. Well, not camping in say British Columbia in December, but you know what I mean.

Being cheerful and optimistic. Don't let the monochromatic wardrobe and Bauhaus albums fool you. I'm not really good at being serious about things unless I have to. I'm a firm believer that life is too short for melancholy, self-pity and depression. It's about seeing and doing as much as you can as often as you can so you have amazing stories to tell in those twilight years. WHy spend your time being unhappy when you can spend it being awesome?

I love to travel. I just got back from Cancun and I'm already deciding whether to do Peru, Iceland or a return trip to England (Where I used to live). I try to get out of the US once a year and have several trips within the country to boot.

My ass. It's won a few awards and people tend to comment (or stare) at it a lot, which is weird to me.

My eyes or hair are a close second.

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Books: anything by Robert Chambers, HP Lovecraft, Bill Bryson, Camus, Kafka, Bram Stoker (yes, he wrote more than Dracula thankyouverymuch), James Joyce, and so on. I like classic horror and Existential Literature for my fiction, and I read just about anything non-fiction. I actually prefer non-fiction, such as biographies, travelouges, and the like. I'm currently reading Eat Sleep Sit by Nonomarau Kaoru and then it's on to the history of Foie Gras.

Movies: Eurotrip is a guilty pleasure of mine, but I also really like Super Troopers, Forgetting Sarah Marshall and other outlandish comedies. Generally I like surreal and funny at the same time. I also like horror films, but I want a good freaky story rather then copious amounts of gore and blood. Things like The 9th Gate, Vampyr and the little indie Lovecraft film collections are my preference over things like Nightmare on Elm Street or the latest Hellraiser remake.

Music: Sisters of Mercy. Bauhaus, GWAR, Starkillers, Lordi, Spice Girls, Macho Man Randy Savage's rap album, Henry Rollins, and so on and so forth. Okay...I've never actually heard Macho Man's rap album, but I did love his Slim Jim commercials. My music tastes are pretty eclectic. I like all forms of music save Country. I've never really been a favorite band kind of person. Instead, there's usually one or two songs by an artist I enjoy. I'd list a bunch of Japanese pop/rock bands I've picked up over the years to to travelling and working there. Right now my J-Pop song that refuses to leave my head in Cobratwisters "Rojiurano Uchuu Shounen."

Foods: As I said earlier, I cook mainly French and Japanese foods, but I love food from all over and will eat just about anything. Cheese, lamb, green beans and the like are always favorites.

Pokemon

Bunny Rabbits,

Warm weather,

Traveling to new places and seeing new things

A really good kitchen

Vinyl pants

Making people laugh, how lucky I am to have such an awesome and rewarding life, Pikachu, writing, history, politics, what would happen if you had a parrot that could only talk in old 80's rap lyrics (I would name it Grandmaster P), Things That Should Not Be, Cthulhu, koalas, bunny rabbits, how many verses of "I'm 'Enry the VIIIth' one can sing without going mad and Ninjas.

And the Meow Mix theme song. Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.

Basically there is a constantly flurry of thoughts going through my head ranging from the totally nonsensical (like the Denver, the Last Dinosaur theme song) to the next piece of literary criticism I have to write for a publication. Deep or Spastic? YOU DECIDE.

In all reality, I try never to do the same thing two weekends in a row. I thrive on new experiences and become easily pissed with people who just want to go to the same damn club/bar and hang out with the same old people over and over again until they might as well be one of Descartes' Automatons. It's not that I have a short attention span. I just get bored really easily. This is both a positive and a negative character trait depending on the circumstance. This is just a warning that I am crap when it comes to routine.

Back in college when Pokemon: The First Movie came out, my girlfriend at the time and I were the first people in the US to collect the ENTIRE Pokemon toy set that Burger King had out at the time. I pretty much have had to be force fed fast food ever since that time. Knowing this, is it really a surprise that one day Pokemon said, "Here's a big sack of money. Come work for us!"?

Force fed fast food. Force fed fast food. Force fed fast food. Say that five times fast.

...you're looking for someone that always wants to try new things, go to new places or just wants to have fun. My interests run from season theatre tickets to relaxing on a beach and watching high tide come in.