Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am a ninja warrior. My recent activity involves fighting space
samurai from the belt of orion.
Basically, if you take Jack Sparrow and Wolverine and smash them
together you get me, but with more excitement and panache.
You googled panache didn't you?
I am not intimidated by your degree I have a P.H.D. and three
masters degrees. I also own the University of Michigan. I own the
entire thing. I use the money that comes in from that just for gas
Did you notice gas prices dropped back down? That happens when I
refuel my cars, I have so many. You're welcome.
Regardless of the fact that I am so out of control that I drive
like Vin Diesel in that movie, drink entire bars out of their
stock, crash weddings, crash funerals, crash parties, and crash
cars; I am a mild mannered guy that just likes to cuddle and I'm
not afraid to show my sensitive side.
Ever see a meteor burn up in the atmosphere? That's space samurai
crashing to the ground, space samurai that I destroyed saving you.
So you should thank me profusely! My organization made up NASA to
keep people occupied and blissfully ignorant of the dangers out
there. Only you, dear thousands of internet readers, know my secret
I am amazing and awesome and you can join me for the ride. I am a
humble guy who is modest and sincere. We'll travel though space and
time, jet ski through the Galapagos islands, remove snakes from
airplanes, and have all sorts of adventures!
Here's an example of an adventure I had:
One day while I was in my space Lamborghini patrolling the asteroid
belt when I was ambushed by space samurai. They came from behind an
asteroid in Chevy Novas that were mounted with laser cannons. The
fired at me and scratched the paint on my fuchsia space lambo!
Outraged I opened fire with my nuclear space cannon and fragged one
of them right where he stood. The other one was more wiley, like a
cat or a monkey. He piloted his Chevy Nova as well as any space
samurai I had ever seen.
I hit the gas and went as fast as I could. He then ducked back into
the asteroid belt. Going full speed, with asteroids whizzing past
me faster than the speed of sound; I darted, weaved, twisted, and
sashayed my vehicle through danger and closed in on him. Getting
next to his vehicle, I got out of mine and leapt on to his Chevy
Nova, plunging my ninja blade into the roof, using it as a crampon
to dig in and hold on. I made my way to his window and smashed my
way through it with a ninja punch, simultaneously grabbing him and
pulling him out of the Chevy Nova.
I thought I had managed to kill him but he somehow used his samurai
sword to grab on himself and pull himself up. Now we dueled on his
Nova, sparks rang as our blades clashed. Sound thundered throughout
the soundless cosmos. We fought and he was good. I thought I might
have seen the end that day. Just as he had me reeling, I saw that
the Chevy Nova was about to crash into an asteroid, his back was
turned facing the hood of the car and he did not see what was to
become his demise. Leaping from the Chevy Nova, I flailed
desperately; latching onto my car, which was following us on auto
pilot the whole time. He crashed into the asteroid creating a ball
of fire blood and guts that sprayed in every direction into the
Satisfied at a job well done I went back to Earth to collect my
ninja money. This could be you! You could have all of this!
If you read all of this you are amazingly patient and I want to
meet you just because of that. You must be an admirable person...
1000 words my ass. :(
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I am a ninja warrior. I pay for everything in ninja dollars.
I like to fight from my custom Lamborghini. Maybe I can pick you up
in a Lamborghini. What's your favorite color? Because I own a
Lamborghini in every color!
I just bought a mansion and a guest house with my ninja money. I
kept the guest house and tore down the mansion so I could build a
parking garage for my Lamborghini and Ferrari cars.
Did I mention I have Ferarri cars too? I have Ferarri cars
I am going to ninja school, because you can never stop learning new
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Ninja kicks, Ninja magic, bad-ass moves, singing, and chess.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My middle name is Danger and I have a chin weasel. You like the
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I like Choke, Fight Club, A Clockwork Orange, The Hobbit, The
Stand, IT, The Running Man, Kingdom for Sale!, The Belgariad,
Breaking Bad, True Blood, Game of Thrones, Dexter, Penn &
Teller's Bullshit!, Star Trek, and so much more.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My custom samurai slaying blades.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
If you could actually summarize yourself, which is comprised of all
of your life experiences into this little page, how trite would
your existence be, and how much would you have had to experience
before people go tldr?
If you did manage to do that, wouldn't that be long winded and
arrogant then? Who cares?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Flying through the cosmos in my space Lambo fighting off space
samurai. Also I ride my Ninja bike, and sometimes jet ski through
the Galapagos islands to hone my skills against the man eating
I once put a bowling ball through a men's restroom wall. True
If I do not have to save he planet from angry space samurai I am
driving my Lambo around like Vin Diesel. If people aren't careful
they could die around me. I am natural selection in real
I like to drink, gamble, get into bar fights, trash hotel rooms,
and play with my ninja blades. When I let loose there should be a
minimum of $10,000 worth of damages and fines. Which is no problem
for my salary I have enough ninja money to cover anything. I see
myself as a responsible person that is level headed and down to
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I could say I am a guy doing what I can to survive in the grueling
environment that is the Michigan economy and that sometimes I like
to share company with people and participate in life's adventures
together. I could say that I am flawed individual that uses his
only strengths to make it out there. But, that's pretty damn boring
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want go to the galapagos islands and drop deep into the shark
infested waters with me. I hope you can swim fast! LOL!
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