Find better matches with our advanced matching system
edzeppelin
49 / M / Straight / Seeing someone
Middlesex, New Jersey
His journal posts
Excuses....
Aug 12, 2010
I have observed several women who can't seem to get past
that man in their lives that had done them so wrong.... my advice
to you...
Cut your losses and don't waste your time . Why stay in some weird
dating limbo when you can move on to what will surely be better
territory? Don't want to hear it? Fine. Here's the answer you're
looking for, "Hang in there, baby. He's not the loser everybody's
telling you he is. If you wait and keep your mouth shut and call at
exactly the right time and anticipate his moods and have no
expectations about communication or your own sexual needs, you can
have him!" But please don't be surprised if he dumps you or
continues to drag you through a completely unsatisfying
relationship. He is a man made up entirely of your excuses. And the
minute you stop making excuses for him, he will completely
disappear from your life.
A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to
keep the woman he loves. If he's not calling you to tell you he
loves you and wants you back, it should only be because he's
showing up at your door to do it in person ... if he's not doing
any of that, he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's
just not into you. Stop taking his calls and let him know what it's
like to live without you.
Photos.... why bother?
Oct 16, 2009
The one thing I have noticed over the last year since I started on dating sites has been the abundance of deceptive or non-photos attached to women's profiles.
Ladies, while I am very understanding of the consciousness of how you feel about your looks, it bewilders me as to why you would even expect to meet a man online when you post images that either have no clarity or even pictures of your pets or foreign landscapes? Recently I came across a profile of the back of a woman’s head... all five of them! What is this woman thinking? How do you expect to get any response when you can't even show your true self? The game is two sided and while you think that you should be the one to make a choice on what is appealing to you, this doesn’t apply to the man who is viewing your profile. I have heard the classic lines... “I don’t put my picture up because I have a reputation to protect.”, or "I attract too many weirdo’s because I am a good looking woman.” These excuses generally don’t fly with most guys and are prone to pass you up simply because they don’t want to take a chance based alone on just what you wrote about yourself.
The object of a dating site is to meet someone that you are physically attracted to. This is ALWAYS going to be the first part of the formula for any kind of connection. It can be very discouraging to men (as I am one of them and I feel I can speak for most of us) when they come across a profile that in the mist may be composed with the most eloquence, but because you have either posted no photo, or a photo that is blurry and obscure, or some mundane object, it is an immediate red flag.
We now live in a world of technology and instant gratification where deception is a common thread in our everyday lives.... Everything from Nigerian love scams to Russian mail order brides. It's hard enough for decent people to filter through the crap hoping to find that one true soul that will fulfill the void in their lives. So why add to the pile of garbage by being vague and ambiguous about your true physical being? By misrepresenting your appearance and in many cases, your persona, you are only setting yourself up for a big letdown in the long run.
We all have expectations of what we want in a partner. It is only human nature and it should not necessarily be perceived and being "shallow." Disappointment comes from within when we raise these expectations higher than common sense would have, and because of this attitude, we find ourselves chasing our tails in a vicious circle over and over again.
So in summary, you need to be honest with yourself before you consider the alternatives when posting your profile with fallacious or deceptive photographs, if even none at all. Just remember that a photograph is usually looked at, but seldom looked into....