Amazingly I've met a special person who wasn't scared off by this mess of a profile (who'lda thunk it?). Oddly enough it's someone whom I thought I had very little in common with. The system works!! Anyway, I'm retired from the search and am only on the site for tests, forums and to be nosey. Good Luck to you all!!

If you've seen my profile elsewhere you can stop now.

I haven't had time to think up any new stuff.

Wait one thing:

If your profile says "I'm a nice person who likes nice things and would like to meet a nice person to do nice activities and have a nice life together"..........

I would guess you're very, very nice, but you have to throw a few curves in there somewhere.

Wait, another thing:

I'm a "Born Again Virgin".

Really.

Do I want to..? Oh Yes, very badly.

Will I.........? I really hope not.

You see, I'm determined not to make the same relationship mistakes I've made in the past.

I've come to the conclusion that great sex has gotten me into, and kept me, in all my failed relationships.

Had I been thinking at all, It would have been clear. I would have seen the red flags.

Would have been able to view these relationships with a more sexually unbiased eye and seen we were incompatable and doomed to failure.

What a jerk.

Anyway that's the plan.

No more old mistakes.

Gonna make all new ones now......

Okay here's the old stuff....

Here goes, ready or not…….

Me? I’m modest…… Very modest…….. Probably the most modest person ever….. Really.

Actually, I’m not really the type of person who could seriously write how smart, attractive, funny, kind, blah, blah, blah (or Bob Loblaw) I am. I leave that for others to figure out. I tried to have my best friend write an unbiased description for me but he was too busy chasing a squirrel.

I'm as comfortable ________ing as I am doing the opposite of ________ing. Dressed appropriately, of course. Just to be clear, this does not refer to anything of a sexual nature. Get your mind out of the gutter. You know who I'm talking to.

Anyway, I’m a Scorpio, but we don’t really believe in Astrology.

Like pets with personality (your goldfish and lizard don’t count).

1st generation American of Sicilian descent, (that’s why I’m so short and dark).

Raised Catholic, but more spiritual, since I was being banned from church after the indoor lightning storm last time. My pentagram-shaped rash also raises eyebrows. Actually, thinking of a religion which incorporates the common threads that run through all religions and discarding the divisive. A “Lowest Common Denominator/Esperanto-like” religion. Hey if L. Ron Hubbard can do it…..

But I am lucky, especially lately. Got several emails about winning a lottery I didn’t enter inheritances from relatives I didn’t know and business deals where I can collect unclaimed millions. Sent my social security number, bank account information and a check. Can’t wait.

CAUTION: THE FOLLOWING IS THE OPINION OF THE WRITER AND SHOULD BE VERIFIED INDEPENDENTLY:

I’m easy-going, like to laugh and play well with others. Tah Dah!



I am easy-going, social, and Funny

Living it!

Independently contracting (retired civil servant(thank god!) - U.M.O.S.).

Been taking a Ballroom Dance class at the local adult ed. I must be getting better, the instructor only curses at me a couple of time a session and he hardly ever hits me anymore.

Collect and study non-traditional board and card games.

Looking for fleas at the flea market.

Betting on Survivor.

Sudoku, and Kakuro.

Searching for snarky, t-shirts.

Breaking the bank at A.C. (mostly mine but working on it).

Playing Bocce and Calvinball.

Ending chain emails, Snopesing hoaxes

Fighting for truth, justice and the American way?

Eluding...........them.

spelleng.........................................­​.................................................­​.................................................­​.................................................­​.................................................­​.................................................­​.................................................­​.................................................­​.................................................­​.................................................­​.................................................­​.................................................­​.................................................­​............................pr­ocrastinating and not finishing thi

That I'm "Walking against the wind" or "Trapped in a glass box"?

MOVIES : The Producer’s (could watch Zero Mostel in anything, damn you Blacklist). The In-Laws ( the original, not the recent abomination), Goodfella’s, City of God, Bad Santa, Blazing Saddles, The Shawshank Redemption, Sin City, The Big Lebowski/Raising Arizona, Groundhog Day, Caddyshack, Airplane, Aliens. Anything by Hitchcock, Scorcese, the Coens, Darabont, Cameron, Spielberg, Jackson, ZMZ. Anything with Zero Mostel, Victor McLaglen, Bill Murray (when he was funny). Lon Chaney Sr. and Rondo Hatton. Love movies. At home or theatre, but I try to avoid the “talk back to the movie” crowd

MUSIC: ZZ Top, Bare Naked Ladies, The Kinks, The Pretenders, WAR, Cake, Earth, Wind and Fire, Guess Who/BTO.

FOOD : Not enough space here, Spicy stuff (Wasabi-Horse Radish-Jalapeno), always looking for the perfect Napoleon and Blondie and dessert in general.

BOOKS and LITERATURE : To Serve Man by Kanamits, Happiness is a Serious Problem by Dennis Prager, anything by Waterston (Calvin and Hobbes, Larson The Far Sideand Gahan Wilson. Entertainment Weekly for my pop culture fix, Knucklebones magazine and the newspaper, everyday, till the ink wears out.

TV : THE NEWS, Survivor, Lost, Simpsons, Survivorman, The Odd Couple, Seinfeld, I Shouldn't Be Alive, The Office, 30 Rock, My Name is Earl, Cried when Arrested Development and Tough Crowd were cancelled, Curb you Enthusiasm, Everybody Loves Raymond.

Excluding family and friends,

Laughter

IMDB

Knizia

Tivo

Music

For not much longer,.....you.

How the world would be different if pivotal events occured differently.

What a catchy profile reads like.

How internet dating is a crapshoot, not to be taken too seriously and with a grain of salt. For example, reading profiles of people I know and thinking that it doesn't sound anything like them. Everything is subjective, looks, brains, sense of humor, kindness, etc.. What we think about ourselves is not always as others see us.

How I should get some sleep and finish this another day.

Friday? Playing cards.

otherwise

Running with the Devil

.....is that I hope someone spreads my private things all over the internet.

You're not perfect.

You're not “normal”. The only “normal” people are the people you don’t know very well. How about you can keep it under wraps until an appropriate place and time?

You've got a great and bizarre sense of humor. CAUTION: If you indicate you are funny or have a sense of humor you’ll have to prove it

You don't indicate, next to your photo, how attractive AND intelligent you are (because if you were intelligent, you would know we could just look at your picture and decide for ourselves how attractive you are).

You gracefully, under fire, stay on the handle while keeping your cool head as all others are losing theirs around you. No drama, please.

I know you don't believe in ESP.

You have to be able to give and take a punch. If you think I mean that literally, stop reading and move on. I pay someone for that.

I guess you're someone who is similar enough to understand and different enough to surprise and keep things interesting. Enjoying the familiar and exploring the differences.

You get along with and love your family, so I won’t have to explain why I love mine.

You knows life isn't "Black and White".

You can see things through other people's eyes

You’ll “make me want to be a better man”.

That’s all for now.

If you made it this far and if you understand any of it, contact me……..or see a doctor.