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eighty_billion

31 M Brooklyn, NY

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 23–36
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Sep 29
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Skinny
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Often
Drugs
Religion
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Aries, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Other
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Likes cats
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm big on wandering around and Brooklyn is a great place for that. I like riding my bike and I USED TO like the idea of arm-wrestling being used to settle disputes, but that all changed when my best friend shattered his arm drunkenly arm-wrestling to settle a dispute over a bill. So now I'm terrified of arm-wrestling. Arm-wrestling joins my only other two fears which are extreme heights and the idea of sharks developing wings and lasers and taking their revenge.

I like hanging out and talking about really stupid things and other not-so-stupid things. So if you're into that sort of thing, great! Maybe we should hang out.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I work at the Gilt Groupe. I like it, although it constantly reminds me that I have a long way to go before I join the FASHIONISTAS of the world. Every time I wear my Detroit Tigers ball cap to work I'm met with furrowed brows and some "Reallys? Are you a twelve year old?"-esque sentiments. It's funny that as I update this there's a button below the text box that reads "Style guide". YES PLEASE OKCUPID I NEED FASHION TIPS PRONTO
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm really good at pretending I'm one of those cliche New Yorkers that discover the dead body at the beginning of every Law and Order episode. "Whaaaaat. What do you mean Marvin, I can't park here, it's my damn apartment! Well, okay, but I live in the building, don't I? Tell you what. When you manage to finally park your truck of wife in a space smaller than Madison Square Gar--oh my god. Marvin, call the police. No Marvin, the police. What, no, I'm not talking about the parking space. I'm talking about that guy! I think that guy's dead!"

I can also come up with a Law and Order / CSI esque one-liner for any situation. Seriously. Try me.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Skinny.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Man. I need book recommendations. I live right next to someone who works for a publishing house who decides whether a particular book is going to be published or not, and she puts out the ones she rejects out on the street and I've been reading them. Guess what? THEY'RE NOT GREAT. Get at me readers of OkCupid. I like pretty much anything that isn't super boring or have aggravatingly annoying characters in them, which I have discovered populate rejected manuscripts frequently.

Podcasts: Hang Up and Listen, This American Life, Comedy Bang! Bang!, Nerd Poker, Girls in Hoodies, Dan Patrick Show, The Nerdist (sensing a theme?), WTF, Radiolab, 99 Invisible, James Bonding, How Did This Get Made?

I like a lot of music. I wish you could embed Spotify playlists on this because that would be simple. And I could find OkCupid users who have better taste in music than me and STEAL their playlists.

But, really, music-wise, basically I am into anything that isn't boring. Open minded about most of this stuff.

I do think that if The New Radicals had made more than one album they may have been my favorite band of all time.

Parks and Rec is literally the best show on television, but they booted it off the air so Sean Saves the World could fail in a bigger spotlight. In the meantime it's Ow! My Balls! and Friday Night Lights on Netflix as the day is long.

MOVIES!? WE BE MOTHERFUCKING POPPIN THAT MAD DISNEY'S ENCHANTED SHIT SONNNNN AS THE DAY IS LONG

I'll pretty much eat any food that doesn't contain brussel sprouts.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
ALL CAPS, Coca-Cola, situations that remind me of really old Simpsons episodes or movies that I like, bad jokes, spotify
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why don't they make Capri Sun's in larger sizes? Just because I'm not a seven year old on a tee-ball team doesn't mean I don't love drinking a Capri-Sun. But they're so friggen tiny! You have to carry like four pouches around with you to make it worth it, but then you look like the weird guy who always carries around four pouches of Capri Sun. No one wants to be that guy.

No one over the age of 12 has made a Capri Sun last more than 8.3 seconds. FACT.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
probably having a grillout with my friends here in Greenpoint in our apartment's fantastically awesome backyard. Or maybe at a Greenpoint bar trying not too look too goofy and clumsy. I've been a bit of a townie lately, but I'm definitely open to leave my corner of Brooklyn. Excited even!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I played the pan-flute on the original recording of "My Heart will Go On."
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You know a good joke. I love good jokes. Bad ones welcome too (see six items section).