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37 Los Angeles, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 24-39
  • Located anywhere
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Aug 6, 2014
5' 6" (1.68m)
Body Type
Used up
Atheism and laughing about it
Doesn’t have kids
English (Fluently), Spanish (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a New York native who's been here a year, though I still feel fresh off the bus, like in Poison's"Fallen Angel" video. I'd like to meet someone willing to show me some of the things this city has to offer.

I hope you don't take "show me some of the things this city has to offer" to mean "lock me in the basement and murder me." While that's one thing that can certainly be done in this city, that's also something you can do in a city like Milwaukee or El Paso.

Here are some other important things about me:

1. I am fairly busy doing standup comedy between 3 and 6 times a week, though I'd take a night off for you, girl.

2. I would like to find an El Guapo Sweater so I can be him next halloween.

3. I'm creative and often come up with weirdly inspired ideas, some of which I follow up on...others which I let slowly fade away.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm trying to make a career out of writing and comedy, how it's going is kind of debatable. I persevere.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Writing funny things. Making you feel special, girl. Other things that don't involve hunting. Tonsil hockey.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My curly hair. Sometimes, back in New York, bizarre people on the subway would ask to touch it. I let them for fear if I said no, they would brandish a sharp object and see fit to slice me with it.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Catch-22, Live From New York (About SNL), Slaughterhouse Five, Assassination Vacation, A Prayer For Owen Meany, About A Boy, High Fidelity, A Short History of Nearly Everything, Roughing It, Your life story.

Movies: I Heart Huckabees, Raiders of the Lost Ark, The Life of Brian, The Professional, Three Amigos, High Fidelity, Team America: World Police

Music: Idlewild, Elvis Costello, Rilo Kiley, Jenny Lewis, Magnetic Fields, Wilco, Elliott Smith, Kathleen Edwards, Silver Jews, The Beach Boys, REM, Outkast, Uncle Tupelo, Aimee Mann, Neko Case, Golden Smog
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Serpents
2. the shower
3. Bail Bonds
4. whimsy
5. socks
6. macbook
7. It let me put a number 7, I think OK Cupid is broken.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How to be more successful.
Getting out of my comfort zone.
Moving/traveling to a foreign land.
How to best OK Cupid in all facets of the dating game.
What the margin of error is on these okcupid, friend/enemy percentages.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Performing in or watching a standup show.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
When I was 8 years old in summer camp, my best friend introduced me to his parents as "the unathletic Evan."

Also, I put my body type as "used up" because I have no idea what that means. Does that mean I've used hard drugs so freely and have been so sexually promiscuous that it's ravaged my body and I'm a shell of a man or does it just mean I had a sports injury once and have a noticeable limp? Regrettably neither of those apply.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over. believe in magic. I can pull rabbits out of hats, but not hats out of rabbits. have the slightest thought that says, "I think I should send this person who I don't know a message...Yeah...I totally should."

...someone dared you and they're staring at you chanting "DO IT! DO IT" You are such a sucker for peer pressure.