I hope you don't take "show me some of the things this city has to offer" to mean "lock me in the basement and murder me." While that's one thing that can certainly be done in this city, that's also something you can do in a city like Milwaukee or El Paso.
Here are some other important things about me:
1. I think I'm a reasonably nice guy who is funny and enjoyable to talk to.
2. I have done a woeful job of keeping up with any Kardashians.
3. I would like to find an El Guapo Sweater so I can be him next halloween.
4. I'm creative and often come up with weirdly inspired ideas, some of which I follow up on...others which I let slowly fade away.