There's this guy, you see, let's call him, um, �Eric,� and I've known him for a long long time. And he is on the top ten for most people who know him, but they almost always turn out to be posses of adoring single girls who just love to love him up and Eric plays for the pink team. So, I want to know where the fuck have you been all this time. Not that I'm complaining because there is no one better to snuggle up and watch movies with, to cook dinner with, to go dancing with, to road trip with, to be out and about in the world with, but I just figured one of you beauts would have snatched him away from me by now. So, now I am taking more drastic measures and letting you know, he's here. He's queer. And he's ripe for the plucking so come and get him, boys.
The first time I met Eric, he was sitting in front of me in a Women in Literature class. We were both just puppies back then but he was such a luminous little puppy who had a thing for icons of the sun. It's easy to understand the sun thing from an outsider's perspective. (He's over that now.) See, when Eric got born someone must have taken a little piece of the sun and stuck it inside of him and out he came blasting a million kilowatts an hour, with enough brightness to lighten up a gloomy mood, enough energy to get a dance floor undulating, enough heat to burn up your bed. Yep, Eric has a bright gold aura and it's not just his pure blonde hair, which is always being sculpted and transformed into some sort of art piece or other. It is not just his smile and laugh, which is ready, easy, and all there. Oh, no. Eric is sunshine in human form.
Eric has a sharp, brilliant mind, as sunbeams do. He is deeply, well educated, incredibly articulate, and is the kind of person everyone wants to have around not only because he brings the cool factor to any event, but because he can talk to anyone about just about anything and does so with ease. Architecture? Susan Sontag? Design? House? Camp? Ask him something mundane and he's got a take on it that will keep you on your toes, ask him something real and you'll talk for hours. The room will dissolve away as you dive in, go for a swim, come on in, the water is safe and it is lovely.
Eric is complex. Maybe that's the problem; he doesn't just slip into any given group but rocks it with all of them. He is 6 feet tall, has fantastic style, that bright blonde hair I've been telling you about, sparkly blue eyes, and is a big strong guy. Not that I would know, but I suspect he'd be a wonderful lover. Going back to that style thing, the boy can put an outfit together like nobody's business. He's not a gym rat and he's not heroine chic but he gets his groove on out there in his cute outfits and the boys see it all happening out there and they want to play play play!
Eric truly appreciates the art of juxtaposition. He does this with art (high and low), furniture, culture and life. Oh yes, he's got quite an eye. But his interests spill beyond the visual into sound, mood, and more. Here is a recipe by Eric: Take two very specific, disparate elements. Put them together, creating an unlikely harmony that is surprising and delightful. Eat it up. No one would have thought if it but him. It is hard to explain but it is a gift that he has and you'd have to meet him to get it. Oh yes, Eric gets it.
In a nutshell, everything is better when Eric is around. Life is twice as nice. He's got a troupe of devoted friends who go to bat for him every single time, because he does for them. He is a people collector and he can take you on. There are not many people out there in the world who know how to be as good a friend as Eric, who is incredibly generous, always up for anything, ferociously loyal, the one who keeps us laughing and he is fun fun fun!
So, are you ready for the most interesting person in the room to step into your life? Here's what I know he is looking for.
First of all, I'll let you in on a little secret: Eric has historically been drawn to guys who look like Darren from Bewitched. So, if you're a Darren look-a-like, then extra special bonus points for you! Cool nerds. Intellectual jocks. It's that juxtaposition thing again. Honestly, I couldn't see Eric being with someone who doesn't love, or at least understand house music (aka, gay church). (Eric is a fantastic dancer.) A deep and abiding love of all things Susan Sontag would come in handy. (He's read it all.) I bet you're creative, because he sure is � it oozes out of him. You should at least have a fluid, dexterous mind. You must be passionate about what you do; that is, you must be interested, deeply, and actively involved in your own life. If you've got that kind of passion for life, what the job is, how much money you make, how gorgeous you are � that's all just gravy. Millionaire status is not necessary, but if you don't have two sticks to rub together to make a fire, then how are you going to buy your plane ticket to go dancing in Brasil with him? So, financially responsible, I guess would be the way to put it. How to woo Eric. e.e. cummings works. Surprises work. But so do so many things which, right now, shall go unnamed � let's see what you can come up with. Eric is 33. I doubt he'd be with someone long term who was more than 15 years his senior and if someone were too much younger than him, well, you might not have had enough time to really think things through, read and live life enough to really keep up and match him.
So, perfect man, specifically made for Eric, I would like you to meet Eric. Eric, meet your man. Please write back and tell him a little something about yourself. Enough so that he can really get a sense of you. And be sure to send a picture along with your response. He will be a hundred times more likely to respond if he can see your face as well as getting that glimpse into your beauteous soul. Come on in, it's nice and sunny over here!
I am new, friendly, and curious