- Labyrinth - The Goblin King
It's so much bother maintaining this thing, but I feel I have not accurately represented myself with the previously written below. So here I go, trying to rewrite it. I am agnostic, but not out of an inability to make up my mind. To me, it is impossible to say that there is a god or gods, just as it is impossible to say that there isn't. A person who declares that there is no god is just as much of an idiot as someone who swears by one. If your athiesm simply means that you worship no god whether one or many exist or not, that's fine, I fit right in there. But to blindly declare that there is no god is like trying to prove to me that you really exist and aren't just some device I've dreamed up to torture myself with. On the other end, if god came to me and we had a nice chat and he showed me the wonders of the universe and later someone asked me if there exists a god, at best I could say, "In my head, there seems to be, but I cannot say with certainty." I believe one can even have faith that their god exists and still not say that there is one, only that he hoped and believed in one whether it exists or not. "There's nothing an agnostic can't do if he doesn't really know whether he believes in anything or not." - Monty Python.
My reason for living is entertainment. Luckily, I am somewhat easily amused. I don't mind existing so long as I have something to watch or read or write or program. The problem is that I have to have money to keep myself knee deep in media, and I have yet to display enough honed talent to support myself with outgoing media. So gas station it is for the time being, though that's getting old. I drip with love for computers, and I could make a job out of that, but I have a deep seeded fear of change, probably success, too, and gods forbid I should do anything risky, no matter the possible gain. Sometimes I hate me... But self importance keeps me going. I love the way I think, I hate the way I fear. Of course, me without fear could be bad.
::OLD:: I don't know the meaning of the word "summary" so this is going to be long. Where music is concerned, I'm obsessed with gothic rock, darkwave, industrial, etc. I'm obsessed with the concept of sin and with the Judeo-Christian devil, Lucifer, the Son of the Morning, the Fallen Angel. I believe that evil serves a divine purpose. I consider myself Divinely Evil, meaning I am an assistant to sin, a coercive agent, a tempter, though I'm not terribly good at it. I maintain a respect for decency, so my preferential sins lie outside of most human interaction, meaning things that, for the most part, only affect me. As an example, my favourite sin is blasphemy, and I practically embody lust. I encourage others to do likewise. The word "violence" makes me think of sex and vampirism. I'm obsessed with the beauty of death. I find "creepy" or gruesome imagery exhilarating, and sometimes sexually enticing. My lust is often more vampiric than sexual, though sexual lust is never in short supply. I highly value intellect and profound thought concerning divinity and/or the universe, how they fit together, if at all. I am uncomfortable around religious fanatics, though I can pretend to be one to avoid confrontation. I despise confrontation. I don't handle stress well and avidly avoid anything that might bring stress my way. On the lighter side... I love british comedy, anime, fine arts, RPGs... In person, I act more cheerful than a lot of this sounds. What goes on on the inside is much different from the outside most of the time. I'm generally shy, but I'm working to overcome it. Despite anything I've already said, I'm a caring and compassionate individual, moreso than I'd like to admit sometimes. My state of mind is not quite healthy, but I'm quite harmless. I guess the real summary is that I'm eccentric. Nevermind the rest of this.
I am obsessive-compulsive, mad as a hatter, and a pleasant pessimist