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31 Santa Monica, CA Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Jan 19
5′ 11″ (1.81m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Buddhism, and somewhat serious about it
Taurus, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
English, French, Other

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am a mercenary wrapped in boyfriend material. I'm still, sweet, and lethal. I love to play.

When I look at your face in a picture I will often see and feel in my minds eye what you might look and feel like in a passionate moment, with no masks, totally revealed, involuntary and electric.

I find that responsibility is a good antidote for an inflated ego.

I've had an interesting last couple years. Berkeley born, then Boulder for a year, Vegas and NYC for a year, back in SF for a while, now firmly planted in LA and ready for some warm weather.

I enjoy experimenting with life. I've gone into plenty of situations and afterwards said "wow, that bit me in the ass". Hasn't slowed me down much. A lot of things have turned out quite nicely after an initial gluteal nibble.

I wish to be, not buy my symbols. I would rather do the work to embody them and save my money. I don't want a Ferrari before I learn to literally be raw power, sophistication, sex appeal and finesse. Then I'll buy one.

I like women who notice the things that I don't notice and then point them out. This might be my biggest turn-on.

I have the viewpoint that we would all do well to advertise ourselves honestly on OKCupid. That way the right people can actually find us. I'm not going for broad appeal, I'm going for needle in a haystack. And I'd settle for a box of thumbtacks :-)

One of my favorite things about meeting somebody new is how we train each other to handle one another. I am interested in learning. I'm confident and I'm willing to be trained to handle you the way you want to be handled. It's like a game. Are you willing to help make me smart and ask for what you want?

Song of the moment (changes regularly, stay tuned):

And, of course, I find Nicole's 8 Reflections on Intimacy to work well as a guide...
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a partner at in LA. We are the worlds leading experts in... wait for it... female orgasm. One of our taglines - "yoga, meditation, and orgasm." OneTaste is a mostly female-run organization that offers lectures, workshops, coaching, and smart, sophisticated well-lit events in 11 cities internationally. And there is even a TED Talk from our founder about the benefits of female orgasm (for men and women!):

Local events -

Don't die wondering :-)

And to be clear I am here for my personal life. If questions come up about what I do I'm happy to answer them and I'm not attached to it. Just know that I am passionate about what I do, it's been massively educational and a source of phenomenal growth for me as a person.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
- saying exactly what is on my mind
- lacrosse
- green smoothies
- parallel parking
- speaking to animals in the voices I think they'd have if they could speak and talking in character about the issues I imagine would be important to them.
- explaining complex things in a simple way
- Apple stuff (former Apple employee)
- seeing people
- making breakfast
- seducing house cats
- eating every edible piece of a thai young coconut
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
People seem to really like the quality of my attention when it's on them. I believe in the power of connection through vulnerability and play... even if I didn't I can't hide my internal state very well so that gets noticed, too.

Not sure if this is something people "notice" about me, but I am fairly apathetic to the cultural conspiracy of being so damn polite and "nice" all the time. I think the friendliest thing we can do is show up as ourselves and be willing to tell a close friend or a complete stranger whats up. The same goes for expressions of love and kindness.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
The Redwall series
Neal Stephenson
Finite and Infinite Games
No More Mr Nice Guy

**I love Pixar movies... Those characters have more gorgeous humanity than most live action movies. Have you see the short movies they do at the beginning? There is one called Partly Cloudy that brings me to tears every time I watch it. Its from the beginning of Up.

The Black Crowes
George Clinton and the Parliament Funkadelic
Robert Randolph & The Family Band
The Weeknd
Ben Harper
Florence + The Machine
Meshell Ndegeocello
The Beatles
Lil Wayne
John Mayer
Jimi Hendrix
Led Zeppelin
...and so many more

I eat pretty much everything.
Bubble tea
Sweet Potatoes
Banana bread
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Mac OS X
guitar solos
a sense of purpose
a good pair of speakers
Clothes that both look good and feel good.
exercise - yoga (vinyasa ok, love Bikram!!), weights, p90x, lacrosse (that's 7 things!)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
how to create something great
how to be of service
what do I need to say
"how is my posture?"
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
1. I can be a perfectionist. It's in my nature and I don't know how to "do it right". As sore as I can get at life's twists, its unpredictability seems to be what makes it so much fun.

3. Vulnerable is sexy. Even when it's temporarily upsetting. I enjoy living unconcealed. I'll tell you my secrets.

3. A few words about the "I'm looking for" category... I have this theory that if I check the box that says "short term dating" its code for "open to intimacy sexual experiences with people you've dated on a 'short term' basis". Which is awesome. And, I think when the checkbox says "casual sex" on OkCupid women (and men) probably often think of the unconscious version - the archetypal "Craigslist experience" - something disconnected and lacking in sensation. What they're not envisioning is just normal, everyday sexual experiences with no specific goal between two people who met, felt it out one blind step at a time, happen to enjoy eachothers company and don't need to go through the whole linear/enmeshment/dating/obligation ordeal as prescribed. And to those who might be looking at this and saying "well, you're a guy, thats easy for you to say"... Interestingly, the candid conversations I have had with female friends of mine reveal that they find it very difficult to get laid in this city without navigating the neurosis and attachment stuff of men. So there.

Sex, making out, whatever, had for real, connected and visceral is never "casual" to me. Neither is couching my desire for sex upon the appearance of being interested in you. That hardly sounds enjoyable. I'm open to the possibilities. And purity is so 2002.

My friend recently wrote: "Out in the world there's this cliché about a man losing interest in women after having sex with them. Presented as the epitome of a guy who only wants sex. Ummm... what if it's that he keeps bumping up against the fact that the sex itself isn't actually the thing he's searching for?" Exactly.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're perfect and capable on your own and you'd like a reminder.

You don't believe that your sex is a prize to be won by the most deserving man. Rather, you share the far more confronting viewpoint that though your desire may be discerning, it is sovereign, powerful, and right. Similarly you don't freak out when a man you're in relationship displays feelings or some other non-stoic human expression.

You can give me a run for my money.

My invitation is in respect to how much men flood women's inboxes on this thing: If you are interested message me with something, anything. Women who initiate get extra points in my book. You won't be judged on how crafty or interesting it is. I like it when words convey feeling of some kind. I hear women are good with that stuff.

also, if any part of this resonates and/or makes you think about your life: