I will tell about one of the most terrifying moments of my life, and it happened about a week ago.

I was walking my dog in the evening, and being the autumn it is dark and cold. As we are walking I hear some weak meowing coming closer and closer. My faithful companion stops and is suddenly very fascinated with a flood-drain, you know, those little things on the road that keeps the streets from turning into public pools whenever it rains.

So the first thought that flashed before my eyes was something like this: ‘oh meh gawd, there’s a kitty stuck in teh drain!!1!11!eleven!!’ –yes, unfortunately my easily affected brain has degraded to actually not only speaking internet-speak but it also visualizes it for me into text. And also, the whole kitty stuck down in the drain is something I blame the animal planet for, so they will be sued for emotional scaring later on.

ANYhow,after using the light on my phone to try to find the kitty, but coming up blind (though I heard movement) I decided to stick my hand in between the bars and try to catch the idiot thing. So while I’m groping around looking like a freak beggar to anyone who might have been watching, I hear more meowing. But not from where my hand is, oh no, but from besides the road. As my brain tries to handle this information, my next thought was ‘then what the hell is making those shuffling noises?’ That’s when I hear squeaking, rodent style, and something brushed along my gloved hand.

I screamed and while fighting to get my hand out I almost fell flat on my ass. I rose, tried to look graceful and like I had meant to act like an escaped psych. ward patient then I walked home. I swear, that bastard cat was laughing at me until it could no longer see me, and then it probably laughed some more along with its buddy, the kittyrat.