Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Writer. Book reader.
Trash TV watcher.
Homebody. Dog owner. City girl. Lush.
Oh, and my teeth are pretty white.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Writing. Creative non-fiction, personal essays, freelance stuff.
Always hustling, but I get bored if I'm not.
Taking the dog on long walks. Reading good books (I write primarily
non-fiction, but I read mostly novels). Coveting nice clothes I
can't afford; hoarding secondhand two-ply cashmere. I've been
working intermittently on a hand-sewn quilt for about a year now.
Also, cooking good things and freezing them in individual portions.
Eating dollar oysters. Drinking wine and whiskey. Saving up for and
then splurging on the occasional amazing, opulent meal where I can
order anything and everything I want without looking at prices.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Throwing up without anyone noticing.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
If they can see me? My smile. If they can't? My laugh.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Contemporary fiction, mostly. Recent favorites include The Orphan
Master's Son, The Country of Ice Cream Star. Wolf Hall. Anna
Karenina. A Disorder Peculiar to the Country. Capote. Salinger. The
Unbearable Lightness of Being is an all time favorite. I thought
I'd hate Moby Dick, but it is a fucking masterpiece. A. A. Milne
poems. Roald Dahl short stories. There are so many more. I hoard
I get the New Yorker. Someone in my building gets the Economist and
leaves it in the hallway, so sometimes I read that, too, for a
change of pace. Someone else gets Cosmo. I don't read that.
In contrast, love terrible reality TV. Real Housewives (Beverly
Hills is the best, but OC and NJ are pretty good too). RuPaul's
Drag Race. Kroll Show is unbelievably good and I've watched it
three times now. Four times for Party Down. Broad City. Game of
I finally just watched Labyrinth for the first time and I cannot.
believe. how amazing it was. David Bowie is the sexiest man alive.
Jim Henson is the most brilliant man dead.
Artichokes. Gummies. Black licorice wheels. Soup. Oysters and
Bob Dylan. Joni Mitchell. Hank Williams Sr. and Patsy Cline. Billie
Holiday. Jolie Holland. Verdi, Puccini. Bach's choral music.
The three men I'd like to go back in time to sleep with:
William Shatner, 1969
Bob Dylan, 1970
Paul Newman, 1967
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Felt tip pen
Dresses with floral patterns
A good book in my bag
But the only thing I would rescue from a fire would be my dog. I
can live without anything else.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why do I never have any money?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Avoiding crowded places. At home with the dog. Sharing a bottle of
wine (or two) with a friend. Occasionally, sitting in the
nosebleeds and watching an opera. Maybe a baseball game? I'd like
to go to more baseball games.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're smart and creative.
You want to drink wine and talk about silly things for a few
You like doing nothing.
You're a man in his 30s with a beard. Or gray hair. I will be
inexorably attracted to you.
Can I list dealbreakers, too?
Voluntourism. Camping. Vegan diets. Spelling mistakes. Queens and
the Bronx are too far. New Jersey is definitely too far. And if
you're younger than I am, you're too young for me.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.