Notes and Errata
1. "laid back" is a mathematical term denoting the median between hypomanic elation and crippling anxiety.
2. No one else thinks this about me.
3. I deplore this expression.
4. Except Tuesday, that's my knitting group day.
5. A far less classy and luxurious enterprise than it sounds: I have access to a beat up 1972, 30 foot sailboat cobbled together with bolts and tar and littered with the detritus of a thousand failed projects and fruitless ambitions. The engine reeks permanently of gasoline and infects the squalid galley with its noxious stench, spoiling the taste of food and the ease of sleep.
6. One time I was in Aspen and I had been snowboarding on this crappy old rental, which had given me a third-degree pressure wound and (in conjunction with a monumental hangover) a terrible mood. TSA selected me for random security screening and I asked in irritation
"Well how long is this gonna take?" To which the officer replied,
"Why, you got somewhere else to be?" In a moment of poor judgment masquerading as wit, I said
"Yeah, I'm late for my Al Qaeda meeting."
Let me tell you something: that was not the right thing to say.
7. The ownership of the bike is still disputed and is the subject of pending litigation.
8. If I could I would sleep sixteen hours a day.
9. The semicolon and right parentheses is meant to graphically designate a winking face.